BFP?!!! *Siggy warning* UPDATE and a question

KateLouise

So my period is due today. My skin has completely broken out, and I've been a bit crampy, so was 100% I would get my period yesterday or today. But nothing.

Just took a pregnancy test, and it's a serious squinter. Like head tilted, test up to the light, maybe it's just wishful thinking, kind of a squinter but I'm pretty sure there's a line!

I'm kind of excited and kind of shocked. We only had sex once this month on CD 14, so odds were against us, and I haven't been that sure I've been ovulating. In fact just last night I ordered a thermometer so that I could start temping.

I'm gonna test again in a couple of days, and if it is really positive will still lurk around here to keep an eye on all your news, if that's ok.

But either way, I wanted to say thank you for all your support and kindness over the last year. You're an amazing bunch of ladies, and I just wish and pray for happiness for you all!

So the update is:

I took another test this morning, and definitely a line. Still faint, but a line.

I would like your ladies thoughts on telling my sister however, as I trust your opinions.

My sister and her husband have been unable to have a baby having tried three rounds of IVF. As far as I'm aware they have now given up.

With DD1 and DD2 it was difficult to tell her, as I knew it would be hard for her to hear. Both times I waited until I was over 12 weeks, the first time I told her by phone, the second by email. (We live in different countries)

Next weekend she will be visiting, we had talked of going out for a drink. I will only be 5 weeks along, so ordinarily would not be telling anyone. I had genuinely given up alcohol for lent,so I could just stick to that line. However I feel like in a few weeks time when I do tell her (assuming all goes well) that she'll do the math and think I was lying.

Like I said, I would not ordinarily tell her so early because anything can happen and why upset her just for a miscarriage to happen, but I don't want to add any to her own hurt by making her feel I lied. Equally  don't want to make a nice weekend awkward.. She's always been loving and understanding, but I know she has her own grief.

Thoughts?

PrivateOne

Congrats!!! I hope your serious squinter turns into a serious BFP!!!!

jchickiem

Congratulations! Hope that squinter is the real deal!!

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Davie813

Congratulations!  FX for you, and keep us posted!

jenfer916

Ha ha "squinter"! I love it! Hope it's the real deal. Good luck!

ProcessofBecoming

Congrats to you!!! YAY!!!!

Samuelismomma

Congrats! Hopefully it's the real thing. I always test darker at night after holding my bladder. Don't know why, you might try that tonight too;)

ksgsmu

Congrats!  I would hold my pee a few hours and get some FRERS and POAS!  Y

KirstenAlecia

congrats! 

annalisel

Congrats!

URMySunshine77

Wow, momma! That is fantastic. :-)

kindershlitz

Yea! congrats!!

tlc35

Congrats!

C_Girlie

Congrats

Samuelismomma

Congrats! Only advice is your gonna just have to tell her gently don't know any other way..I know it's difficult situation ..good luck!

Mrs.McIrish

Kate Louise - congrats on your second line. I wanted to chime in about your sister as I can tell you what I'd want as the sister with multiple IvFs failures. First off, she may not have stopped treatment. She may have lied about that. No one knows that DH and I resumed treatment. I just didn't want to share it with anyone after so many tries. I have not told my own sister and we are close. But even if she truly has stopped, the longing for a baby and the pain of infertility remains with you. Pregnancy announcements feel like you've been gutted. Second, I think you should keep to the Lent no drinking. If you tell her, it will ruin her weekend. I would be devastated and unable to get out of the darkness for the weekend. It's not that she won't be happy for you but she can't be happy "with" you when you can't do that one thing that "everyone" can..I think lying is the best thing to do in this situation. Once you get past 12 weeks, I'd email again. Even when my sister tells me about someone else being pregnant, I want the phone conversation to end that minute. Reacting in private is important to me. Thank you for being cautious and protective of her feelings.

ewenner

I have no advice regarding your sister, but wanted to say congratulations!

BeckyP005

Omg congrats!!!! How exciting! I wouldn't tell her but that's just me. I would want to enjoy the time with her since it seems you don't see her much with living so far away and I wouldn't want it to be a sad weekend. I agree with everything McIrish said. Good luck!!

Ihope

Great news, congratulations. I would also stick with the lent excuse for now

KateLouise

Thanks ladies for all the congratulations, and thank you also for the advice. Particularly you McIrish, I've always wavered over the email approach as it seems so impersonal, but I do understand the preference to process such news in private.

I will shuffle over to the pregnant after35 board, but I will still lurk. Best wishes to you all!!

gabbagal

congrats on the wonderful news! I am torn about your sister, though. I understand the need to want to protect her (having dealt with multiple losses myself), especially until you know for sure that all is well (finger's crossed that it will!). But if you don't see her that often (you said you live in different countries) it might be better to tell her when you're face to face rather than wait and have to do it less personally. It might soften the blow later if you frame it by saying you wanted to tell her first before she heard from anyone else b/c you wanted to make sure she was ok. Plus, if it were me, I know I'd feel really awkward and uncomfortable all weekend thinking I'm keeping something from her. Maybe after you tell her, you can shift the attention immediately to her to ask how she's doing and how she feels (about the news or about her journey). Either way, it sounds like you are very sensitive to her feelings so whatever you decide, I'm sure that will come across. Good luck and again, congrats!!!

HeathernSteven

Timing is everything, I can understand wanting to let her know, but perhaps later in the weekend would be better if you are concerned it could ruin her weekend, then she also has the ability to escape shortly after to cope with her feelings.

Does she know you have been trying? It might not be as bad if she knows you are trying. 

Either way, wait until the timing feels right, don't just blurt it out, maybe ask how she is doing before telling her, so you can gauge her reactions. I also agree with McIrish.....so it's all going to come down to what feels right and when.

HeathernSteven

Oh and congrats!!!! Really excited for you!