Holiday issue - long

PaMommy02

I usually host holiday dinners for DHs family ( his mom doesn't have space, money or energy to do it). His family is always late for everything though. I always set a time for our dinners and gatherings, they always show up about 45 mins late. At first I was fine with it but on Christmas they really rubbed me wrong. They were all ( MIL, SIL and her kids, BIL and his kids and wife) 2 hours or more late. They all came at different times so food was cold and we didn't eat as a family as we usually do. DH and I were upset but didn't show it. We both just said to each other that we are not hosting anymore family holiday meals because we feel they don't appreciate it. We feel as if they don't realize the importance of sitting as a family to eat a holiday meal and also don't realize the effort and cost that goes into it.

The thing is that I'm kind of bummed we are not doing it for Easter now. As much as his family pisses me off, I kind of thrive on being a hosts and having gatherings and making memories for my kids.

Should I still have Easter diner for them? Should we express our concerns to them first and ask them to please be on time? Should I just let it go knowing they always late and just have an open house type holiday? Thoughts?

sarahandeddiejune212008

I would just make a nice holiday dinner for your family and skip the ILs. Maybe they'll get the hint when they aren't invited.

ashleynaka

I am so sorry you are put in this tough predicament. I would definitely express your feelings to them and make sure they understand that you expect them to kindly show up on time this time. If that plan fails yet again, I would focus on your own family and just do your own thing knowing that you truly tried. Good luck!

APendola

Some people are always early, some always on time, some are always late.

I would do one of the two options.

1. Explain to them that when you invite them for dinner at 6:00, you mean that you are serving dinner at 6:00 and you hope to have everyone at the table by that time so they can enjoy a hot meal together.

2. Invite them over at 5:00 and state on your invite what time dinner will be served (ie. 6:00pm).  That way they have a window of coming over anytime between 5 and 6 and you can have some appetizers out.

PaMommy02

Thanks for all the ideas! I always do an egg hunt after dinner but I will do it before so then we can all eat together this year.

His family is just different from mine, they are also very forward. In the beginning I would invite them over and say to come at 5 PM then serve dinner around 6 PM. The rare occasions they would actually come around 5 PM they would get there and then say "where's dinner why isn't it ready" and start to pick before I have it all out.

I guess that's just part if holidays with the inlaws! Lol!

Thanks again!

ThePinkSuperhero

Forget them!  Can you host a dinner for somebody else (friends?) who will show up on time?  That could be a fun new tradition!

apollonia10

I know what you mean. My mom is late like it's her job. It's gotten to the point where I always tell her to come at least an hour before I actually need her to be there, because she will be up to an hour late. It works for us, but I think also having a meal that they could eat as they go - crockpot, or sandwich platter, or something - so that their arrival doesn't impact the quality of everyone else's dinner.