Tips for dealing with aggressive child?

Lilbobo

Lately when I pick up DS from daycare, a little girl in his class comes up and pokes, hits or otherwise harasses him. She doesn't actually hurt him but it makes him cry. DS is 2 and the aggressor is a few months older, though smaller. Teachers say they generally get along; it just seems to happen when I or DH is around. Perhaps she wants attention? Any tips for: 1. Helping DS deal with this? 2. Handling the aggressor? (We've always been nice to her and greet her by name.) Teachers are working on having him say "I don't like this" but he's not there yet.

thedash

If it's happening most days I would ask the teachers to distract her as soon as they notice you or DH arriving.

emberlee3

Sometimes LOs in DD's class do this. They really love DD's backpack (which we got her because she always tried to take DS's backpack). The other kids will mob DD trying to steal her backpack. The teachers separate the kids and gently remind them to respect each other's personal space. I carry the backpack now until we leave the classroom, so we are mostly dealing with tackle-hugs at this point. Anyway, I would not consider such a young child to be "aggressive." Distraction by a teacher is probably the best approach.

cecilyandgautam

You can talk directly to the kid, as long as you're kind & reasonable - tell her your son wants some space right now and she can play with him tomorrow. If she hits him or does something violent/aggressive, look her in the eye and tell her "hitting is unacceptable" and then call one of the teachers over to be made aware of the incident and implement whatever form of discipline they use in the class. 

I find that kids are sort of stunned when some one other than mommy, daddy, or the regular DCP say - hey, violence is not okay. It seems to help drive the message home - like anywhere the kid goes, it's never okay to hit. 

Muffins_Mom

I would say "it's not nice to hit. Please don't do that." There's absolutely nothing wrong with you asking someone else's child not to harm your child, as long as you do it in a kind way. She may not realize what she's doing, honestly, and hearing another mom tell her it's not "right" may stop it from happening.