Adoption

Hello, new to researching adoption.

Hello - I'm new to this board, so here's a little background. H is 37, and I'm 35. We've been TTC for about 5 yrs before determining unexplained infertility. Had a treatment plan that was never implemented due to some health issues I experienced last year after 3 vaccinations prior to a trip to Brazil. In trying to recover, I've discovered that my mercury levels are too high. Though it's controversial, I believe (based on research) that mercury can contribute to autism. This is a concern for us b/c my stepson-9 is autistic as well as a niece on my side and nephew on H's side.

While I am starting to reduce my mercury levels by removing my 9 amalgam fillings and via supplementation, this process could take up to a year. I don't feel comfortable starting fertility treatments until that point (I want to optimize my health before TTC). While I have every reason to believe we'd be successful with treatment, we just feel that it's risky b/c of our ages to wait and see given that it could be another year before we start trying again.

So...I've recently thought that I just want us to be parents and that's more important than waiting for what could be another 2-3 years. So we are just starting to look into adoption. I figure that if we desire another child, we could always try again in that time frame, but I just don't want to wait without knowing any longer. And if we adopt now then try in 2-3 yrs, we could possibly end up w/ 2 children (though I"d be thrilled w/ just one). But if that's ever possible, we need to start now!

Lots of mixed emotions right now...I assume this is normal??? Do others jump to adoption before even trying fertility treatments?
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Re: Hello, new to researching adoption.

  • Yes, we have people on here who have adopted without fertility issues, or chose to put their time, money, and effort into adoption instead of fertility treatments.

    Welcome, this is a great group

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  • Pinkie78 said:
    I agree there are many different paths. We totally overdid fertility treatments and then came to peace with adoption. It took us time but we came to the conclusion we wanted to be parents and that was what is important. We have a 1 yr old now and are so happy with our overall journey. Good luck
    Same with us. We went through fertility treatments for almost 2 years before deciding to adopt instead. Looking back we both wish that we had changed our mind sooner, but if we had we would not have the son that we have now.
    Proud 40 year old, first time daddy!
  • Welcome! I know myself and another girl here are doing foster to adopt because we felt a calling I guess you could say, not due to fertility issues. Good luck with your journey!
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    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker

  • We started adoption process after minimal fertility treatments (3 IUIs), haven't had much luck with adoption so far, and are now combining the two (doing embryo adoption). I'd say there is no right path but just what is best for your family. Good luck!
    My story's similar - we only tried 2 IUI's before moving on to adoption.  Fertility treatments will always be out there as an option in the future.  It was more important to me to get to be a parent than to get to be pregnant with a bio kid.  Our adoption went surprisingly fast- 9 months from start to placement- and I am really glad we didn't waste any more of our time/$/emotions on fertility treatments.
    TTC #1 9/11-12/12, 9/12 Dx: Hypothyroid + DOR (AMH .76), IUI #1 & #2 BFN's
    1/13 Decided to pursue DIA, 4/13 Home study Approved 9/13 Matched!
    10/13 DS home with us! 2/14 TPR completed  5/14 ADOPTION IS FINAL!
    3/14 Surprise BFP 11/14 DD is here!
    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
  • IdigDirt said:
    Welcome! I know myself and another girl here are doing foster to adopt because we felt a calling I guess you could say, not due to fertility issues. Good luck with your journey!
    This is me as well.   For the last 5 years I knew I would have a family via adoption versus having biological children.   
    Started foster to adopt application process January 2014
  • Good luck! I'm pursuing fost/adopt too. I've also known for several years this is how I'd build my family.
    Road to motherhood started Jan 2014 Lilypie Waiting to Adopt tickers
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