Need to talk....having 2 in daycare is freaking me out

Tapthathank · March 2014

DH and I are talking about TTC #2 very soon...like June. I looked at my BC supply last night - I have 1 week left in this pack, and then 2 full packs. So that would get us to the middle of May. So we were thinking...let's just go for it.

But the thought of 2 in daycare is scaring me!! We pay $185/week for DS now. Unless we can get a "family discount" or something, we would be paying $370/week for 2. I know...some people have to pay that amount for just 1 kid. But DH doesn't make that much money....like he would be taking home maybe $250 more a month than daycare costs. I love daycare. I think it has been so great for Sam, I don't want to pull him out and have DH stay at home.

Do we just suck it up for the year or so that we have 2 in daycare? DH has been actively looking for a new job and I have been thinking about looking too. So I guess our financial situation could change before #2 comes along.

Sorry so long....just needed to talk this out.

vvvvvfee · March 2014

I don't have any advice, unfortunately, but I do have the exact same worries!

we'd always said we would try for #2 when DS was 2, but I just don't know how we would afford 2 in f/t daycare, even though we both work f/t (we are in a HCOL area). but we also can't really afford for me to stay home because with the mortgage and DH's student loans, there just isn't enough money.

I think at most daycares it gets a little cheaper when they turn 3, and like you said, there would probably be a nominal discount if you have 2 in the same place.

but yeah, do we just say, "okay, we'll just be broke for the next 3 years and then things will get better"?

I'm hoping something will change over the next 18 months that will help us out- like DS getting a new job or my mother retiring and being able to watch 1 kid for us.

I'm also curious to hear people's thoughts/experience on this.

Jessica Swanlake · March 2014

I feel your pain. In the summer, when my two littlest ones are both in DC, our fees are around $450 a week. It feels like you are getting nowhere.

Since you are not pregnant now, and have time to save, I would say start putting away the extra $185 a week now and see how the budget can handle it. If you can find a way to make it work, then go for it. By the time you have #2, you will have a nice little nest egg built up to take care of anything unexpected.

If it is too much of a strain, then consider looking for cheaper place, or ask your provider if they would be willing to work with you. Even though DH will not be bringing home much extra, he will be holding his "place" in the workforce and your situation will change dramatically for the better once the kids are in school. If he is out of the workforce for 4-5 years, he will have a much harder time finding a job.

cedenton · March 2014

There's usually a very small multiple kid discount so I'd ask about that. Also the price (at centers) usually goes down when they're in a potty trained room so again...look into it.

I think if it's only a short amount of time, even if you're breaking even, I would put them in daycare. The impact on your DH's job/career with a gap on his resume is pretty big. Also, would he enjoy staying at home? Would it have a negative effect on your marriage?

Basically ask all the same questions you would if YOU were the one who'd be staying at home, but add in the impact on the male ego. LOL

PaisleyRuth · March 2014

I don't work FT but recently went back to work PT just to get a little balance in my life. I work 2 full days and the kids go to daycare those 2 days. Daycare eats up literally my entire paycheck just about. I bring home $568 every 2 weeks and daycare is $551 for that time period. DS is 3 but still hasn't been able to get a spot in the 3-yr-old room, which will be $80 cheaper every 2 weeks. The only reason it is worth it for me to work right now is to get some adult time for me, socialization for the kids, and in the fall when DD is 2 we can switch to a preschool that is less than half the price.

sdlaura · March 2014

In two months when my maternity leave is over we'll be paying $600 a week to have two in an in-home daycare. It's crazy. We're in a HCOL area. The thing we keep in mind is that it's temporary, whereas the loss of earning power for several years if one of us were to stay home would likely carry forward for a long time. Plus, like you said, I think our kids really benefit from daycare and I couldn't provide that same stimulation, or at least it would be difficult. I think you have to think about whether your DH's career is one where you could easily step back in if you took years off. Mine is not, at least not where we live.