Working Moms

How often do you...

Have date nights?
Go out with friends?
Do something by yourself?

I am trying to make a conscious effort to make these things a priority.  I just don't know how realistic it is to do all three on a regular basis.  ::Sigh::  There are just not enough hours in the day...  I'm curious to hear about what others do and how often.

Re: How often do you...

  • Have date nights?  at least once per month 
    Go out with friends?  average once per month - not nearly enough.  This has been the category that has fallen to the low priority level
    Do something by yourself? 3 times per week. 
  • Loading the player...
  • Date nights - Once or twice a month.  We're lucky that my FIL is local and regularly offers up his services.  Sometimes date night is more of a double date night with friends.

    Go out with friends - Once or twice a month, either on a week night for dinner (book club) or usually Sunday brunch (with different friends).  For both of those, DH is in charge at home.

    Do something by myself - Saturday afternoons are me time for the most part.  We initially negotiated 1-5 pm, but that's flexible.  Half of that used to be DD's naptime, which made it less of a grind for DH.  I've had to come up with a list of places to go out of the house when I just want to sit and read, though, because if I'm home both DH and DD bug me constantly unless they happen to go out.

    imageimageimage
  • jlaOKjlaOK member
    Date night - every 2-3 months
    Friends - girls night most every week and we'll get together as couples either w/ or w/o kids every 2-3 months
    Myself - Not very often.  I can usually go out by myself or take a nap on the weekends when DD naps but it just depends on what we have going on.
    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker

                                                  View Full Size Image

  • date night--once or twice a month

    friends...definitely has fallen to the bottom of the list...maybe every other month. we are also at a weird stage where we dont have a ton of friends that live in our immediate area. we are hoping with DS getting a little bigger we get involved more in town and meet some new families/couples that way.

    myself--once or twice a month maybe..its usually a pedicure or yoga. I only like to go out during DS's nap time or when hes in bed. I dont like to miss time with him.

  • Date night:  every month or every other month

    Friends:  I have monthly lunches with different girl friends (we all work so that's the best time); as couples, very rarely without the kids.  Maybe once/quarter with our childless friends.  We've found the best way to spend time with couple friends is to cook at someone's house.  A lot of times we host b/c we have stricter bedtimes with our kids than our friends.

    Myself:  Are you asking gym/hair salon/etc?  Then gym 2/week, hair every other month, and nails 1/month.  Would like to find more time to shop alone (for me or the kids).  Usually once/week I run an errand on lunch break.

  • date nights: I don't know how many and I have not kept count. We went to Lord of the Rings this past Decemeber. Would eating a meal together at home in front of the T.V. count? That would be every night.

    go out with friends: too lazy to do that. I don't get any invites but I am also introverted. If I do it is monthly, when they also bring kids, too.

    do something by myself: read a book at work. It is slow sometimes.
    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
  • Date night: once every other month or so. This is kinda pathetic considering we do have both sets of grandparents close by. My mom helps out so much with the kids already, I hate to ask for anything unnecessary. DH and I do hang out together at home after kids are in bed.

    Hang with friends: without kids? Ummmm very rarely, few times a year. With kids? Me and my best friend do play dates every 3 months or so. It would be more often but she works a lot of weekends and she lives an hour away.

    Something by myself: I'm assuming trips to the grocery store don't count? I do go to church by myself on Sundays. Other than that I don't get much alone time.

    This is making me feel pathetic lol. DH is going to be having knee surgery soon, and will be unable to do much with the kids for a few weeks, so I don't see this improving anytime soon.
    Image and video hosting by TinyPic


    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
    • Date Nights - A couple times a quarter, so maybe every other month?
    • Go out with Friends - I'm trying to get better at this and aim for the same as date night, about every other month
    • Alone time - none really.   Only when I'm at work am I not with my family.  I don't mind really, DH and I are alone together at night from 8-10 after the kids go to bed so I guess I should count that but he is with me.
    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker


  • ccamccam member

    date nights - once every month or two, we've been getting a little better at this.

    go out with friends - rarely.  If we're going to meet up with friends it usually involves our kids and letting them tire each other out, while we sit around with a glass of wine, which I don't mind. 

    do something by yourself - about once a week, although it might be something simple that I do to get out of the house while DS naps on the weekend. 

    ___________________________________________________________________________

    Trying for #1 since May 2010   l   DX ~ Unexplained Infertility June 2011

    IUI #1&2 = BFN; IUI #3 = BFP, m/c @ 6 weeks

    November '11 ~ IVF#1 ~ ER 11/18 (29R, 17F) ~ 5dt of one beautiful blast on 11/23 = BFP!!

    Beta #1 9dp5dt = 116, P4 = 28 ~ Beta #2 13dp5dt = 700 ~ Beta #3 20dp5dt = 9500, P4 = 26

    1st u/s 12/27 - hb of 156!! EDD 8.10.12 :)   **TEAM GREEN!**

    Sweet baby boy born 8.18.12

    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker

    Trying for #2

    FET #1 - October '13 - c/p   l   FET #2 - December '13 - cancelled :(   l   FET #2.2 - 1.30.14 - BFN

    ~ More testing - hysteroscopy, endometrial biopsy & more b/w - all normal / negative~

    Surprise BFP while waiting on FET #3 ~ beta #1 500; beta #2 1600; first u/s 4/3 - measuring 5w5d, no hb yet!; 2nd u/s 4/10 - hb 132, measuring 6w6d - EDD 11.29.14 :)    **TEAM GREEN!**

    Beautiful baby girl born 11.24.14

      Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker

  • Have date nights? About once a month or so
    Go out with friends? I aim for once a month.  I have a group of friends that are childless (not by choice), so we have them over for dinner now and then.  They love to see the kids, and it's easier for us to host and then put the kids to bed.  Friends with kids - we get the kids together every other month or so, and try to go out once a month.
    Do something by yourself?  My commute is my alone time - LOL!  If I do get any more than that, it's typically to go shopping for clothes or shoes, which I hate.
  • Have date nights? What is that?  It has a familiar ring to it...haha.  Not enough.  We only go a few times a yr, like anniversaries, birthdays, etc.  We do have a good bit of time together at night after DS goes to bed so that helps keep the love alive.  

    Go out with friends? I'm embarrassed to say this, but I don't even know!  Most of my friends have moved away or have small kids too and its so hard to plan things.  We do get together w/ our friends who have kids a couple times a month and have dinner and wine while the kids play. I love it!

    Do something by yourself? I guess my commute and lunch break count.  Sometimes I will go sit by myself and have a leisurely lunch in a restaurant or I will shop.  It's kind of nice to have that hour every day.



    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker

  • Have date nights? 
    Maybe once every 2-3 months along it is a goal to have more date nights and just quality alone time together although it's hard! We are having date night Saturday and doing to a comedy show which I'm looking forward to.

    Go out with friends? 

    I don't have many friends but mostly go out for special occasions (i.e birthdays)
    Do something by yourself? 
    Does going to work daily count? LOL.  At least once a week because I bowl on a league every Thursday and sometimes I try to get out the house and do something kid-free (i.e. treat myself to a mani/pedi or ice cream or just browsing at Target or local malls).




    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
  • Date night-- hardly ever but one of my goals is to increase to once every other month

    Out with friends--almost every weekend with kids, once a month or so without kids

    Alone time--hair appointment once every 2 months, sometimes an errand or chores on the weekend while DH does something with the kids. I also sneak a little relaxing on WFH days while kids are at daycare.
    DS born 8/8/09 and DD born 6/12/12.
  • Have date nights? we are always talking about having them, but we only end up going out once every couple of months. ugh. we definitely need more alone time.

    Go out with friends? once every month or two? we have made a lot of plans, but haven't actually followed through on them. it so hard during the winter with our kid and our friends' kids being sick so often from school/daycare.

    Do something by yourself? lunch breaks at work every day, although i feel like that doesn't totally count. commuting? also not a very pleasant activity, although i listen to audiobooks. every other weekend or so i will go out alone or with my mom to go shopping for an hour or two. on one weekend day i try to cook a lot so we have leftovers for during the week. DH watches DS while i cook for a couple of hours. i love cooking, so this is down time for me.

  • Date nights: 2-3 times a month. We really try to make this a priority.

    With friends: maybe once every 2 months. I want to try to be better about this. I'm going to try to purpose a regular girls' night with my group of friends.

    By myself: I go to the gym or run errands during my lunch break every day, so I guess that counts. Other than that, maybe once a month.
    Lilypie Fifth Birthday tickers Lilypie Third Birthday tickers
  • We're homebodies with very small circles of friends so the answer to all of those is "Not often."  We've gone out a few times since the newbie was born but we don't have family super close and we're not rolling in the dough to hire babysitters all the time.  If I take the boys on a playdate or something, DH gets that time and every couple months I probably have a shopping trip or dinner with a friend.
    Formerly known as elmoali :)

    image
  • Have date nights? Maybe once a month if we're lucky. A co-worker of mine has a set of twins a year older than LO and occasionally I'll ask her to babysit and we pay her. Her kids love him, so she never minds.
     
    Go out with friends? Unfortunately, hardly ever. My local friends don't have children, so they're always on the go and I'm usually missing out. I did get to go to a friend's party last month while my SO watched our LO.
     
    Do something by yourself? Every Saturday I go to the gym alone, and every two weeks I go to the hair salon and get my eyebrows done. That's my little routine and my SO is always on board with me having some free time.
    Lilypie Fourth Birthday tickers
  • I should preface this by saying that we are incredibly fortunate that both sets of grandparents live close by and are happy to take DS whenever we want.

    Date night: every other week, and if we are not doing a date night, then we'd do a lunch date that week.

    Friends: we get together every weekend with friends that have little kids so that the kids can play with each other.  We rarely spend a weekend with just the 3 of us.  We hang out with our friends (and BIL/SIL) without the kids every other week or so.  I hang out with my girlfriends (without DH) maybe once every 3 months or so; but then again, I don't have a lot of girlfriends that live in the area.  Most of my friends are "couples" friends DH and I have made or else friends from DS' DC or neighbours that have kids.

    Me time: I guess every night from 8 - 10 p.m. is essentially "me" time.  I go to the spa for an afternoon every few months.

  • Date nights: For special occasions only, which tends to be 4-6 Xs a year

    Go out with friends: almost never

    Do something by myself: I have Thursdays off and about twice a month I will bring dd to dc. I generally clean the house and do errands, but I'm technically by myself.
    Warning No formatter is installed for the format bbhtml
  • I was actually just thinking about posting something like this- I feel so bad about turning down friends all the time, but I just can't do something extra like go out for drinks or dinner every weekend- So, 

    Date nights- Maybe once a month. Not nearly enough. 
    Go out with friends- twice a month. Almost always to a brunch or a happy hour. I primarily hang out with my sister and my best friend. We all have kids so we usually end up going over to each others houses and having wine while the kids play. 
    Something for myself- I try to fit in a run on the weekends if the weather is nice or a yoga class. I get a massage every few months.  
  • Date nights: None (single and not looking)

    Out with friends: Rarely. Maybe once every 1-2 months, and DS is with me

    By myself: I consider eating dinner and drinking a beer after DS has gone to bed "doing something by myself", but I might have a mom-friend watch him on a Saturday for a couple hours while I go do something else every 3 or so months.




    image
    image

  • ss265ss265 member

    Date nights: About twice a month, sometimes more often. By date night, I am referring to dinner with DH so not like a whole night out - usually 1-2 hours. We are lucky in that my IL live 20 minutes away and love watching DS so we usually drop him off on Friday nights so that we can have dinner alone.

    Out with friends: Rarely but only because I have busy friends. If DH wants to have a beer with a friend after work or if I want to have dinner with my girlfriends, we are pretty good about covering for the other person.

    By myself: At least once a week. DH and I trade off mornings on the weekends so that we each get one morning to sleep in/relax. He also likes to take DS to his parent's house on the weekend so I get alone time when he does that.

    We are extremely fortunate in that my ILs are great and don't mind watching DS. If we didn't have them nearby, I don't think we would get as many date nights/alone time as we do now. And things might change when #2 comes along as well. Think we would feel bad asking my IL to watch 2 kids all the time.

    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker


    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
  • Date nights- not often enough. Maybe two in the last six months?
    With friends - it was more often before I switched jobs but back then, probably once every few months.
    Myself - I get a haircut every six weeks. My DH works some nights so after the kids go to bed, I try to find a movie that he wouldn't watch with me.
  • MKDeeMKDee member
    edited March 2014
    Up until a year ago, hardly ever. Last Jan, DH convinced me to learn to play ice hockey with him. We lined up babysitters for six Fridays in a row, and went to ice hockey lessons. I loved it so much that I joined a beginner league that plays once per week after the kids are in bed, and DH and I kept our Friday hockey date (on most weeks). So I get alone time, and we get regular date nights. Best thing I ever did. (Some Fridays we go on a more traditional date, but we've come to think of Fridays as date night).

    As for time out with friends, I'd say 1x per month, usually. Sometimes more, sometimes less.

    Anyway, I highly recommend finding an activity to do together to make the time for date nights!!

    ETA: it helps that we have family nearby, and the kids' daycare center is open on Friday nights.
    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
  • Date nights - Maybe once every 2 or 3 months.  We try and plan those for Friday nights my parents can stay late so childcare is free and we can go out to dinner and maybe catch a movie. 

    Out with friends - I have a couple friends I meet for dinner every few months.  Another friend has a group of girls up to her cottage (about 45 minutes from home) for an overnight in the Fall.  Another friend has a few "craft days" on Saturdays a couple times a year.

    Me time - I exercise at night for 20-30 minutes, usually after the kids are in bed.  Also, I use my every-other Fridays off to have a few hours of 'me' time.  Typically that means going to the chiropractor, getting my hair done, or running errands that are more easily done without two kids in tow.  I did just go to a ladies retreat at church last Friday evening and all day on Saturday, and that was some nice 'me' time.

    I feel like this is a fairly good balance, but I would like to be able to go out with DH more.

    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
  • AGB03AGB03 member
    Well I'm a new Mom and just settling into a routine, so I'm guessing this will change.  My son is three months old so here goes.

    Date Nights - One so far to celebrate our 2nd wedding anniversary.  We do have a date night planned for an Arcade Fire Concert in April, so I'm guessing we will be somewhere around 1 date night every 2 months.

    Do something with friends - Most of our friends live in different cities, and some in different states so not very often.  I've had a few visitors since I've had the baby, but I have yet to do anything with a friend yet.  I had a lunch date with a friend last week since I'm working and have another planned for next week.  I'll probably only see friends during working hours most of the time.  Kind of depressing but it is what it is.

    Do something by yourself - So far the grocery store once a week and just now started back at the gym after work twice a week.  I am getting my hair done for the first time tomorrow after work so starting to feel a little normal.


  • Have date nights?   We're starting to at least once a month.  Our daycare does a monthly "Parents Night Out" which we have started taking advantage of.

    Go out with friends? at night?  maybe once a month.

    Do something by yourself?  once or twice a month
    Lilypie First Birthday tickers
  • Have date nights?  Probably once every 3-4 months.

    Go out with friends?  As in not with DS?  Probably 2 times a year.

    Do something by myself?  If you mean anything other than an errand while DS is asleep and DH is at home with him, then never.  I will probably do an errand alone during one of DS's naps on the weekend probably once every 2-3 months.

    Lilypie Third Birthday tickers 
    Lilypie First Birthday tickers 

    BFP #1 6/28/11 ~ EDD 3/7/12 ~ m/c 7/15/11 at 6w2d
    BFP #2 8/29/11 ~ EDD 5/12/12. 4/25/12: Our take home baby is here!
     BFP #3 8/27/13 ~ EDD 5/11/14.  4/27/14:  Our second take home baby is here!

This discussion has been closed.
Choose Another Board
Search Boards
"
"