I went back to work last week...

milb11

I went back to work last week after my 6 weeks of maternity leave and now I sit here on my couch crying and typing this. This is my second personal day since I returned, including several half days. I'm having a really hard time concentrating at work. It doesn't help that I dislike my job and it doesn't keep my very busy. I can't keep my mind off everything else in my life. Work seems so insignificant right now. I'm seriously thinking about quitting and just living off savings for a while, even though I know that isn't a wise idea. 

Any advice on how to get through the day? Or even just how to get out of bed to go to work? 

bunnybun4

((hugs))  I am so sorry you are having to deal with this.  going back to work and jumping back into real life is so, so hard after a loss.  Some days I still have a hard time concentrating and not being angry or upset.

The only real advice I can give you is to maybe start seeing a grief therapist (if you aren't already).  They can help you sort out some of your feelings and also give you strategies for getting though the day.

Wish I could help more...I hate that anyone has to go through what you have been through.

OutOfStep81

-ticker-

First off- huge hugs!

Second- always do what you feel you need to. This is my third day back after 4 weeks off. Monday was extremely hard. But yesterday was a little easier and today has been too.

Work is helping me keep my mind off of what happened and in more of a positive frame. But that's just how I work. I do know from my depression that sometimes it's best to make yourself get out of bed and the house. It's hard at first but it does end up helping after a bit.

Hang in there! Hugs!

angelsnight

Ticker warning

Hugs, aside from actually losing our daughter, going back to work was THE hardest thing I dealt with.  I was miserable, it was so hard to get out of bed and I just wanted to hide from the world.  I went back last year in early May and for at least the first month and a half I did not work a single 40 hour week...I called off or took half days every single week.

I cried at my desk a lot (I tried to hide it as best as I could) and cried in the bathroom a lot.  Crying to and from work was a daily thing as well for at least the first several months back.  I also had the same thoughts as you....it's like my mind was so desperate to find some way, any way to get out of working but it just wasn't possible, we can't afford to live off just MH's salary.

But it got better....I hate to say it, but time is all that helped.  I'd say the first two months was really the worst, and it got better day by day.  Luckily I was given a new position to learn within a few weeks of returning, and that was one of the best things because it forced me to stay busy and focused rather than doing the same boring job that gave me too much time to think.  Could you maybe ask for more responsibilities or some projects to keep busy?

I won't lie, there are still days I call off (though much less frequently) because I just cannot face the world.  I can be sick as a dog and still push my way to work, but most of the time when I call off now, it's just because I want to go back to bed and not deal with anything.  On those days, I am not even necessarily missing my angel (though I miss her all the time), but it's like my body and mind are exhausted, and I just can't do it.

I wish I could take the pain away for you because I remember how hard those first few months were for me.  But I hope it gives you some peace to know that it does get better with time. 

stefuge

Big ((hugs)). 

ikrystal

I have no advice, but I wanted you let you know and the PPs know that my thoughts are with you.

I work from home, and while that has many benefits (I can cry whenever I want or just toss things aside and lay in bed), there are so many reminders of my boys at home that it makes it hard to get through the day.  I'm just at home, sitting with my thoughts, torturing myself.  I try to keep myself busy, but again... my office is next to their nursery.  It is so hard to get anything done, and so hard to remove myself physically from the situation.  That being said, I feel like working outside the house has its advantages since it makes you keep going and putting one foot in front the other.  I am not saying it is easier working outside of the home (definitely not), but I can see its advantages.  

I hope that you start to have better days at work.  I know it is hard.  I can only imagine.  I wish I had magic words for you to make you feel better. 

kflynn81

Big ((hugs))  Going back to work was so difficult but after a few weeks I just threw myself into it...it helped to focus on something else. Admittedly, I've had many meltdowns in the morning while trying to get out the door where I've been really late for work. Fortunately, they've been understanding and haven't really said much about it. Considering I'm a dedicated employee and never late under normal circumstance I think they just look the other way.

Maybe Joleisa

Returning to work was very hard. I've been back for 3 weeks--the first week I was useless; the second week I was able to start catching up; this past week I feel like I'm back in my work groove. Sometimes when I'm at my desk I start tearing up, but my focus is becoming better. That said, I cry pretty much every day on my way home from work. (luckily I'm in my car and not on public transportation)

I hope things become easier for you. ((hugs))