Advice for terrible twos!!

marinewife1107

I need advice!! My 2 year old boy doesn't listen to me at all. He's a perfect little angel when it comes to his dad, or being at daycare or If a friend or family member watches him. With me, I can't even go to the grocery store without him throwing a fit or screaming for no reason! I understand kids have tantrums but I feel like it's only when I'm around! I've tried everything and I just don't know what to do anymore. Anyone have any tips or tricks that I'm missing??!

Xath

How are your responses to his behavior different from the people he responds well to? He may be acting the way he is because he knows that it evokes an attentive response. At 2, attention is attention, they don't really care if it's positive or negative as long as they're getting a reaction.

JENandJEH

Kids tend to test the boundaries more with the people they are most secure with and who they are secure in their bond with.  He knows you love him and will love him no matter how he behaves so he pushes his luck with you more than he does with daycare or the grandparents.  

I would be consistent in your discipline.  I try to do my grocery shopping either after DH gets home and the boys are in bed (and it's never crowded, so that's a plus!) or first thing Saturday mornings so that I don't have to take DS2 with me.  He goes with me during the week to pick up random little things so that we can work on how to behave while we're in the store and I'll slowly start increasing the length of the trips to the store I take with him.  When he throws a toy (what he does when he is mad or told no) then he immediately goes to timeout on the bottom step.  We do 1 minute for every year of age so he gets 2 minutes on the step.  It took a few weeks for him to get the hang of timeout but now, he knows to sit on the step and usually by the end of 2 minutes, he has calmed down and I get down on his level and explain to him why he was in timeout.  If he hit someone (usually his brother), then he has to go "apologize" (just a hug until he starts saying the words) after his timeout is over.  

If he's just throwing a tantrum because he wants something that he either can't have or I won't give him at the moment, I walk away and ignore him.  He may continue on for 30 seconds but usually stops once he realizes I'm not paying any attention to him.  (Obviously wouldn't work in the grocery store to just leave him and ignore)

Twos are tough but you once you start being consistent with your responses, I think it'll get a bit better.  

foreverapartofme

Be consistent and follow through on whatever you decide to do.  At this age, they are constantly pushing boundaries to see if they can get away with something.  Good luck!

BabyNewbury2012

Oh wow thank you for posting this, I swear I could of wrote this word for word myself. I don't have advice because Im looking for advice too, I just wanted you to know you are not alone!

dancingmatilda

Be consistent, follow though, & hang in there! Behavior won't change overnight, but don't let it get you down.

janinekrause

sorry- dont mean to laugh. My 2 year old has started having MASSIVE tantrums lately (in last week or so) Time outs or threats of time outs used to work, but this is different behavior. She screams and yells when she doesnt get her way.

I have decided to ignore the behavior since that bothers her more- (this is only for screaming/yelling/hissy fits)- i put her in her room and closed the door last night. She screamed for another 5 mins then calmed down.  For hitting,etc- we just continue to do time outs.

It really doesn't bother me because I know it is a phase. My oldest is 5 and we went through a month or two of this behavior before she got the hint and realized that behavior doesn't work.

 

Good luck!

 

janinekrause

Oh and as for supermarket and stuff, I continue to do the same things I have always done. Although it is tough when they are going through this phase, I felt it was the best way to learn. Yes, we had to leave quite a few restaurants, etc but what can you do?

sugarbear0524

I think, for your own sanity, you should leave your LO home with your husband on grocery store outings. I know your LO has to learn but until you get over this stage it might be easier.

rlyttle

When DS used to throw a HUGE fit in the grocery story I would leave and put him in the car. Sometimes I couldn't even get him into his car seat he was SO strong. So I would basically get him in the back of the car, shut the door, then I would sit in the drivers seat with the radio turned up till he finally stopped throwing a fit. One time I had to wait about 20 minutes before the screams stopped. He was then exhausted and told me that he was ready to go home. Exhausting for both of us!!!! Other times I've done this and only had to wait about 5 minutes, then we would go back into the store after he calmed down.