NCDR: birth control

abby8279

Now that LO is 6 weeks old it is the time to decide on BC.  I didn't do anything except for EBF with my previous baby and that is why DD#2 and DD#3 are only 13 mo apart!  I feel like my choices are limited because I am not interested in anything hormonal.  I went to the OB yesterday and even though I told her nothing hormonal she still tried to convince me to do Mirena IUD or an implant, both of which contain hormones.  I told her I would like to try a diaphragm.  She fitted me for one and sent in the prescription only for my pharmacist to call me and tell me she can't even get that diaphragm anymore.  So now I don't know what to do.  We are trying to avoid condoms but it is looking like that is about it for options.  Is there anything else I am not aware of??

Into+the+Kitty

Why are you avoiding condoms?

lovelainie

I have a friend who used VCF (vaginal contraceptive film) successfully for years. The downside to that is the 15-minute wait for it to become effective.

flummadiddle85

We use NFP. The book Taking Charge of Your Fertility is a good place to start. CCL offers classes, but they are religious based (we use NFP for religious reasons). If you don't want to abstain during fertile times, FAM would be just using barrier then. NFP/FAM is not the calendar/rhythm method, which are very ineffective. It is observing your body's fertility signs to determine when sex would possibly lead to a pregnancy. It is highly effective, no side effects, helps you learn your body better, help see any problems in your cycle, and it's cheap/free. You can use it PP, but it can be trickier then.

abby8279

Into+the+Kitty said:

Why are you avoiding condoms?

Probably tmi, but I like the feeling of closeness without having to actually feel the barrier.  To me it would be like kissing but covering your mouth with plastic wrap first.  I know it's not the end of the world.  But if there was another form of protection out there that I didn't know about I thought I would explore.

 

ElleBeeDub

If you're ok with a long-ish term option, you can look into copper IUDs. They're implants, but they're non-hormonal. They're also fairly expensive, so docs normally don't recommend getting one if you're thinking of getting pregnant in the next 5 years. FWIW, I'm in the same boat as you once this next tiny is born. DH is anti-condoms for the same reason.

JEPES1348

I imagine NFP would be extremely tricky PP, especially before AF returns and your cycle regulates a bit more. Since my one and only LO was born 2 months premature for unknown reasons, I'll be doing the hormone injections for 20 weeks during my next pregnancy, and we're also going to plan carefully to know "fairly exactly" when we conceive so that the injections are given accordingly. For this my OB has recommended good ol' condoms. Not my ideal either, but better than an unplanned BFP, in my case and opinion.

YellowLily2013

We're also doing condoms... Which I agree isn't ideal but I'm not interested in hormonal bc either. And we definitely aren't ready for another one.

Now that my period has returned, I'm interested in doing NFP again and only using condoms during / near my fertile window.

Danie007

Another condoms pp and nfp user here.

nanabanana06

I'm on a regular pill, but I'm switching to the copper IUD. I hate the hormones, but need something effective and long lasting.

Danie007

If we had better insurance at the moment I would probably do the copper IUD too. We already have three, but I'm not ready (probably never will) to do anything permanent.

Into+the+Kitty

Have you considered sheepskin condoms? I dislike condoms for the same reason, and have found that the sheepskin is a vast improvement in that area. My H agrees.

abby8279

I have definitely learned a couple more things to look into.  I am so naive with this stuff.  DD#1 was conceived on our honeymoon.  And then we struggled with infertility for many years.  5 1/2 yrs later DD#2 came along.  After she was born we didn't think we had to take precaution given our past struggles, and I was EBFing, and I hadn't even gotten AF.  Well DD#3 took us by surprise.  So now I know I no longer seem to struggle with fertility.  BC is a whole new world for me.  Thanks for the advice.

Loriimagination

Condoms here too. Once my period returns we're going to go the nfp route as well.

CurlieWhirlie

I second whoever suggested Taking Charge of Your Fertility, but if you want something totally non-labor-intensive, why not send your partner in for the snip? I'm making a huge assumption, of course, since you've got three kids — obviously that one wouldn't work if you want more! :-) 

abby8279

I am totally getting Taking Charge of Your Fertility on my Nook.  And getting a box of sheepskin condoms (hope they are easy to find).  Thanks ladies!

ElleBeeDub

abby8279 said:

I am totally getting Taking Charge of Your Fertility on my Nook.  And getting a box of sheepskin condoms (hope they are easy to find).  Thanks ladies!

If it helps, sheepskin are the only ones DH will use (although he doesn't exactly love those either...)

mmm50

So glad my MW recommended Taking Charge of Your Fertility- we've been using it for about 2 years and have been successful in avoiding/achieving/avoiding pregnancy as we wanted.  We keep condoms around in case we feel like DTD during the "danger zone" (what I call the fertile window).  

Into+the+Kitty

abby8279 said:

I am totally getting Taking Charge of Your Fertility on my Nook.  And getting a box of sheepskin condoms (hope they are easy to find).  Thanks ladies!

You should be able to get them in any store that carries condoms in a smaller quantity to try them out. We ended up buying them on amazon for the best bulk price.

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Amores0121

We will be using NFP and pull out or condoms when necessary.  DH doesn't want to get snipped and I don't want to go back on BC after learning how to properly track my cycle.  Although my OB may recommend going back on it due to endometriosis running in my family...

 

What's the difference in "feeling" b/n sheepskin and latex? B/c I hate latex! You can't feel anything.

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daisyemerson

the "pull and pray" method worked for us for over a year

We got pregnant intentionally, not because it failed us…but I wouldn't use it if I wasn't okay with a potential accident.  I was curious about your question as well, but there doesn't seem to be a lot of non-hormonal options available.  I'm allergic to nickel and a lot of metals so a copper IUD would probably not do well for me.  I think I'm stuck with the NuvaRing after LO is born.  It's extremely convenient but I hate being on hormones, they made me lose my libido.  As soon as we decide for sure if we're one-and-done or having another, DH is getting a vasectomy!!!!

flummadiddle85

What is this article?

flummadiddle85

Chickypoo2468 said:

https://www.myfemininemind.com/2012/07/things-your-doctor-may-not-have-told_25.html?m=1

Dang.

flummadiddle85

Chickypoo2468 said:

I'm sorry. Lol

We already use NFP, so you didn't ruin sex for me! But still. Dang.

jess9802

OP, why do you want to avoid hormones? Due to breastfeeding or other concerns? If it's due to BF, I will say that at my six week checkup I asked about Mirena and my OB recommended that I use the mini pill first to see if progesterone affected my supply, and because his preference is to place the IUD no earlier than 10-12 weeks postpartum in BF mothers to reduce the odds of it being expelled. I used the Mini-Pill for the first six months after having DS. I'd never had problems with hormonal birth control before, and the mini pill was fine, but I had a hard time remembering to take it. I switched to Mirena. Neither method seemed to affect my milk supply.

I've had it for 14 months now. I still get a period each month, but it lasts about two days and is so light I don't need anything more than a pantiliner. I had very heavy periods before having a baby, which is why I ruled out Paraguard. I am beyond thrilled with Mirena. I love it!

Lild09

Before I got pregnant (I am right now) we really wanted to make sure I didn't get pregnant before we were ready so we used a combo of bcp and condoms (not all the time with condoms) but we were able to find some really thin latex ones we both liked a lot called kimono I believe but they only sell them online or in adult shops. You just got to try a bunch of the ultra thin kinds and see what feels best for both of you, I'm sure you'll find something and for what it's worth it's fun trying

MAdams728

I will never take hormonal bc again. We used condoms after dd 's birth until I stopped nursing and got my period. Now we use FAM and withdrawal. We are getting ready to TTC again, though, but we will do the same methods after the next LO, as well.

nanabanana06

Honestly, I think NFP works great for some. However, there is a huge risk to getting pregnant even doing that method. Have a sloppy work party and get frisky in your fertile window. Whoops baby. Condoms even have a huge failure rate. Pull and pray only works if you do it correctly, most people don't. Honestly, unless you want to risk the chance of getting pregnant your options are some form of actual BC. Be it a pill, IUD, or tubes tied/vasectomy. It's the only reason I'm even on the pill. I'd rather take the minute risk of a bad side effect than get pregnant at this very moment. It's a priorities thing. I think many methods can work for many people, but there are huge flaws to each method. So, pick your priorities. What would suck worse at this moment. Another baby/pregnancy or the small risk of heart problem or sumshit.

Amores0121

Nana_Osaki06 said:

Honestly, I think NFP works great for some. However, there is a huge risk to getting pregnant even doing that method. Have a sloppy work party and get frisky in your fertile window. Whoops baby. Condoms even have a huge failure rate. Pull and pray only works if you do it correctly, most people don't. Honestly, unless you want to risk the chance of getting pregnant your options are some form of actual BC. Be it a pill, IUD, or tubes tied/vasectomy. It's the only reason I'm even on the pill. I'd rather take the minute risk of a bad side effect than get pregnant at this very moment. It's a priorities thing. I think many methods can work for many people, but there are huge flaws to each method. So, pick your priorities. What would suck worse at this moment. Another baby/pregnancy or the small risk of heart problem or sumshit.

I have to disagree that there is a "huge risk" with NFP.  You only have a 20% of getting pregnant each month as it is.  If you avoid your fertile window or use a barrier of some type then it should work pretty effectively-if you are doing it properly.  Of course if you have sex during your fertile time, then you can't expect for it to work.

 

I remember reading about how since men are the ones who are fertile 100% of the time..shouldn't it be them who are on BC? Shouldn't they be the ones who need to prevent ALL THE TIME? Why should we have to put our bodies through all this shit when we are only fertile one small time of the month? It makes so much sense, but of course WE are the ones who get PG and have to carry the baby. If only men were trained to think this way...

flummadiddle85

Nana_Osaki06 said:

Honestly, I think NFP works great for some. However, there is a huge risk to getting pregnant even doing that method. Have a sloppy work party and get frisky in your fertile window. Whoops baby. Condoms even have a huge failure rate. Pull and pray only works if you do it correctly, most people don't. Honestly, unless you want to risk the chance of getting pregnant your options are some form of actual BC. Be it a pill, IUD, or tubes tied/vasectomy. It's the only reason I'm even on the pill. I'd rather take the minute risk of a bad side effect than get pregnant at this very moment. It's a priorities thing. I think many methods can work for many people, but there are huge flaws to each method. So, pick your priorities. What would suck worse at this moment. Another baby/pregnancy or the small risk of heart problem or sumshit.

If you have sex during your fertile window, you can't call that a failure of the method. It only works if you follow it. The pill only works if you take it. Some methods are only effective if done correctly. If you're a condom user, and decide to risk it once without, and get pregnant, you don't say the condom failed. You just didn't use it. same with NFP.

Amores0121

NVandGZ said:

Nana_Osaki06 said:

Honestly, I think NFP works great for some. However, there is a huge risk to getting pregnant even doing that method. Have a sloppy work party and get frisky in your fertile window. Whoops baby. Condoms even have a huge failure rate. Pull and pray only works if you do it correctly, most people don't. Honestly, unless you want to risk the chance of getting pregnant your options are some form of actual BC. Be it a pill, IUD, or tubes tied/vasectomy. It's the only reason I'm even on the pill. I'd rather take the minute risk of a bad side effect than get pregnant at this very moment. It's a priorities thing. I think many methods can work for many people, but there are huge flaws to each method. So, pick your priorities. What would suck worse at this moment. Another baby/pregnancy or the small risk of heart problem or sumshit.

If you have sex during your fertile window, you can't call that a failure of the method. It only works if you follow it. The pill only works if you take it. Some methods are only effective if done correctly. If you're a condom user, and decide to risk it once without, and get pregnant, you don't say the condom failed. You just didn't use it. same with NFP.

Same with IUD! I had a friend who got PG TWICE while having an IUD.

nanabanana06

Amores0121 said:

Nana_Osaki06 said:

Honestly, I think NFP works great for some. However, there is a huge risk to getting pregnant even doing that method. Have a sloppy work party and get frisky in your fertile window. Whoops baby. Condoms even have a huge failure rate. Pull and pray only works if you do it correctly, most people don't. Honestly, unless you want to risk the chance of getting pregnant your options are some form of actual BC. Be it a pill, IUD, or tubes tied/vasectomy. It's the only reason I'm even on the pill. I'd rather take the minute risk of a bad side effect than get pregnant at this very moment. It's a priorities thing. I think many methods can work for many people, but there are huge flaws to each method. So, pick your priorities. What would suck worse at this moment. Another baby/pregnancy or the small risk of heart problem or sumshit.

I have to disagree that there is a "huge risk" with NFP.  You only have a 20% of getting pregnant each month as it is.  If you avoid your fertile window or use a barrier of some type then it should work pretty effectively-if you are doing it properly.  Of course if you have sex during your fertile time, then you can't expect for it to work.

 

I remember reading about how since men are the ones who are fertile 100% of the time..shouldn't it be them who are on BC? Shouldn't they be the ones who need to prevent ALL THE TIME? Why should we have to put our bodies through all this shit when we are only fertile one small time of the month? It makes so much sense, but of course WE are the ones who get PG and have to carry the baby. If only men were trained to think this way...

It's higher than the 0.01% chance on BC. I would love for men to be the ones on BC, but male birth control is a ways from being mass produced. Until then we have to wager our chances and risks. It's proven that methods like NFP, Pull n Pray, Diaphram, and Condoms have a higher chance of failure compared to other forms of BC. It's all about what you feel comfortable with. Is the risk with BC (which many are mild, and major ones are rare) worth it over having another baby. If yes, then go on real BC, if no then maybe another option is available. No way is perfect and the only 100% risk free and pregnancy free way is abstinence. We all learn this in sex ed.

This is all coming from someone who has extreme reactions to BC, cannot be on many forms due to weight, and already has 1 BC baby. I also had a NFP baby that resulted in a loss. Right now I cannot get pregnant. It would probably ruin my relationship as well as financially it would stretch us. So I'm on regular BC.

flummadiddle85

Nana_Osaki06 said:

Amores0121 said:

Nana_Osaki06 said:

Honestly, I think NFP works great for some. However, there is a huge risk to getting pregnant even doing that method. Have a sloppy work party and get frisky in your fertile window. Whoops baby. Condoms even have a huge failure rate. Pull and pray only works if you do it correctly, most people don't. Honestly, unless you want to risk the chance of getting pregnant your options are some form of actual BC. Be it a pill, IUD, or tubes tied/vasectomy. It's the only reason I'm even on the pill. I'd rather take the minute risk of a bad side effect than get pregnant at this very moment. It's a priorities thing. I think many methods can work for many people, but there are huge flaws to each method. So, pick your priorities. What would suck worse at this moment. Another baby/pregnancy or the small risk of heart problem or sumshit.

I have to disagree that there is a "huge risk" with NFP.  You only have a 20% of getting pregnant each month as it is.  If you avoid your fertile window or use a barrier of some type then it should work pretty effectively-if you are doing it properly.  Of course if you have sex during your fertile time, then you can't expect for it to work.

 

I remember reading about how since men are the ones who are fertile 100% of the time..shouldn't it be them who are on BC? Shouldn't they be the ones who need to prevent ALL THE TIME? Why should we have to put our bodies through all this shit when we are only fertile one small time of the month? It makes so much sense, but of course WE are the ones who get PG and have to carry the baby. If only men were trained to think this way...

It's higher than the 0.01% chance on BC. I would love for men to be the ones on BC, but male birth control is a ways from being mass produced. Until then we have to wager our chances and risks. It's proven that methods like NFP, Pull n Pray, Diaphram, and Condoms have a higher chance of failure compared to other forms of BC. It's all about what you feel comfortable with. Is the risk with BC (which many are mild, and major ones are rare) worth it over having another baby. If yes, then go on real BC, if no then maybe another option is available. No way is perfect and the only 100% risk free and pregnancy free way is abstinence. We all learn this in sex ed.

This is all coming from someone who has extreme reactions to BC, cannot be on many forms due to weight, and already has 1 BC baby. I also had a NFP baby that resulted in a loss. Right now I cannot get pregnant. It would probably ruin my relationship as well as financially it would stretch us. So I'm on regular BC.

https://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2007/02/070221065200.htm That's just the first thing off google for NFP effectiveness. Studies that claim NFP is not as effective as "regular" BC, you need to look at what they are considering an unintended pregnancy. Using the method correctly is very effective. If the man helps chart and interpret the fertility signs, then he is helping in the BC arena.

nanabanana06

NVandGZ said:

Nana_Osaki06 said:

Amores0121 said:

Nana_Osaki06 said:

Honestly, I think NFP works great for some. However, there is a huge risk to getting pregnant even doing that method. Have a sloppy work party and get frisky in your fertile window. Whoops baby. Condoms even have a huge failure rate. Pull and pray only works if you do it correctly, most people don't. Honestly, unless you want to risk the chance of getting pregnant your options are some form of actual BC. Be it a pill, IUD, or tubes tied/vasectomy. It's the only reason I'm even on the pill. I'd rather take the minute risk of a bad side effect than get pregnant at this very moment. It's a priorities thing. I think many methods can work for many people, but there are huge flaws to each method. So, pick your priorities. What would suck worse at this moment. Another baby/pregnancy or the small risk of heart problem or sumshit.

I have to disagree that there is a "huge risk" with NFP.  You only have a 20% of getting pregnant each month as it is.  If you avoid your fertile window or use a barrier of some type then it should work pretty effectively-if you are doing it properly.  Of course if you have sex during your fertile time, then you can't expect for it to work.

 

I remember reading about how since men are the ones who are fertile 100% of the time..shouldn't it be them who are on BC? Shouldn't they be the ones who need to prevent ALL THE TIME? Why should we have to put our bodies through all this shit when we are only fertile one small time of the month? It makes so much sense, but of course WE are the ones who get PG and have to carry the baby. If only men were trained to think this way...

It's higher than the 0.01% chance on BC. I would love for men to be the ones on BC, but male birth control is a ways from being mass produced. Until then we have to wager our chances and risks. It's proven that methods like NFP, Pull n Pray, Diaphram, and Condoms have a higher chance of failure compared to other forms of BC. It's all about what you feel comfortable with. Is the risk with BC (which many are mild, and major ones are rare) worth it over having another baby. If yes, then go on real BC, if no then maybe another option is available. No way is perfect and the only 100% risk free and pregnancy free way is abstinence. We all learn this in sex ed.

This is all coming from someone who has extreme reactions to BC, cannot be on many forms due to weight, and already has 1 BC baby. I also had a NFP baby that resulted in a loss. Right now I cannot get pregnant. It would probably ruin my relationship as well as financially it would stretch us. So I'm on regular BC.

https://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2007/02/070221065200.htm That's just the first thing off google for NFP effectiveness. Studies that claim NFP is not as effective as "regular" BC, you need to look at what they are considering an unintended pregnancy. Using the method correctly is very effective. If the man helps chart and interpret the fertility signs, then he is helping in the BC arena.

Yes, I realize the "when using correctly" thing. However, people make mistakes. Mistakes with NFP can more easily result in a baby. I'm sorry, but shit happens. People get drunk at work parties and have sex during their fertile window. Some people mistake signs and still get pregnant. It does have a higher risk, even used correctly. I don't ovulate normally not on BC. Sperm can live up to 5 days in you. I could have sex and then the next day have a LH surge, this can chance at getting pregnant. On BC I know I have a lower risk at getting pregnant.

mrshudson618

Nana_Osaki06 said:

NVandGZ said:

Nana_Osaki06 said:

Amores0121 said:

Nana_Osaki06 said:

Honestly, I think NFP works great for some. However, there is a huge risk to getting pregnant even doing that method. Have a sloppy work party and get frisky in your fertile window. Whoops baby. Condoms even have a huge failure rate. Pull and pray only works if you do it correctly, most people don't. Honestly, unless you want to risk the chance of getting pregnant your options are some form of actual BC. Be it a pill, IUD, or tubes tied/vasectomy. It's the only reason I'm even on the pill. I'd rather take the minute risk of a bad side effect than get pregnant at this very moment. It's a priorities thing. I think many methods can work for many people, but there are huge flaws to each method. So, pick your priorities. What would suck worse at this moment. Another baby/pregnancy or the small risk of heart problem or sumshit.

I have to disagree that there is a "huge risk" with NFP.  You only have a 20% of getting pregnant each month as it is.  If you avoid your fertile window or use a barrier of some type then it should work pretty effectively-if you are doing it properly.  Of course if you have sex during your fertile time, then you can't expect for it to work.

 

I remember reading about how since men are the ones who are fertile 100% of the time..shouldn't it be them who are on BC? Shouldn't they be the ones who need to prevent ALL THE TIME? Why should we have to put our bodies through all this shit when we are only fertile one small time of the month? It makes so much sense, but of course WE are the ones who get PG and have to carry the baby. If only men were trained to think this way...

It's higher than the 0.01% chance on BC. I would love for men to be the ones on BC, but male birth control is a ways from being mass produced. Until then we have to wager our chances and risks. It's proven that methods like NFP, Pull n Pray, Diaphram, and Condoms have a higher chance of failure compared to other forms of BC. It's all about what you feel comfortable with. Is the risk with BC (which many are mild, and major ones are rare) worth it over having another baby. If yes, then go on real BC, if no then maybe another option is available. No way is perfect and the only 100% risk free and pregnancy free way is abstinence. We all learn this in sex ed.

This is all coming from someone who has extreme reactions to BC, cannot be on many forms due to weight, and already has 1 BC baby. I also had a NFP baby that resulted in a loss. Right now I cannot get pregnant. It would probably ruin my relationship as well as financially it would stretch us. So I'm on regular BC.

https://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2007/02/070221065200.htm That's just the first thing off google for NFP effectiveness. Studies that claim NFP is not as effective as "regular" BC, you need to look at what they are considering an unintended pregnancy. Using the method correctly is very effective. If the man helps chart and interpret the fertility signs, then he is helping in the BC arena.

Yes, I realize the "when using correctly" thing. However, people make mistakes. Mistakes with NFP can more easily result in a baby. I'm sorry, but shit happens. People get drunk at work parties and have sex during their fertile window. Some people mistake signs and still get pregnant. It does have a higher risk, even used correctly. I don't ovulate normally not on BC. Sperm can live up to 5 days in you. I could have sex and then the next day have a LH surge, this can chance at getting pregnant. On BC I know I have a lower risk at getting pregnant

:-/ I still  don't see how this makes sense. Of course NFP doesn't work when you have sex during your fertile window. The pill doesn't work when you don't take it. Condoms don't work when you don't use them. Shit happens, you forget your pill, or get drunk at an office party and not use a condom. And when "used correctly" NFP takes into account the lifespan of sperm. You don't have a LH surge with no warning.

nanabanana06

I should show you my charts sometime. Months of ups and down and then 4+ days of positive OPKs somewhere around CD 35-50. I read the book, I used the knowledge. Some people it doesn't work. Also, your not going to get pregnant from skipping 1 pill. There is a higher chance of having an "oops" using forms like NFP, pull n pray, ect. I'm not saying don't use it, but it's not like using a prescription BC. However, everyone seems to skip over my point. You need to look at what is most important to you and your family. If not having a baby is more important than "risks", then you need a better form of BC than just charting. Accidents happen, even with proper use NFP.

JEPES1348

I don't know how to chart. 

mmm50

I do agree with @Nana_Osaki06 that if pregnancy/another child is really not something that is right for you given your situation, you need to look into other form of birth control other than FAM/NFP.  It's a pros/cons decision like everything else.  We used BC when we weren't ready for a baby (like when I was in law school) because the cost and potential side effects were worth it given our financial/time situation, but now use FAM/NFP because even though we want to wait a while before having another baby, if another baby happens now we're completely OK with that.  For the time being FAM/NFP is the best decision for us.