How did you know he was ready?

HannahandJeremy81

Particularly wanting to hear from those who planned to wait to have children. My hubby and I have been married almost 2 years and were on the '5 year plan'. He has been strangely interested in babies recently and I was wondering if your husbands brought up the discussion first or how you knew he was ready to TTC?

terraignota

No special clue dropping around this house. I just asked him. If you're unsure of where he's at, my suggestion is open communication. Assumptions and guessing games lead nowhere good. Only way to know is through talking. Good luck to you

Mysterious_wife

I asked him

greeneyed_bride

Ditto everybody else. I didn't try to analyze his behavior; I asked him how he felt. We both knew we wanted to wait several years before having kids, but we didn't have an exact timeline. When I felt ready around three and a half years, I told him I felt ready and asked how he felt. He wasn't quite ready, so we talked about things we'd like to do/accomplish before we had kids, and we set up a rough timeline. Then when he turned 30, he told me that he was ready. There was no guesswork.

Jellyfish42

He told me one day that he would be okay with a kid of his own... while shopping...in the baby section. So yeah, big flashing signs were coming from him that day. Lol.

divinemsbee

I think timelines are good, but I think a 5 year timeline is a pretty large amount of time to say that you're not going to talk about something as big as kids or to think that at no point in 5 years things might alter a bit.

As for H and I, we talked about it before we got married, and we decided to get married and start trying. Even though we've discussed having children and are definitely trying, we still have the conversation occasionally. And each time we're bringing new info to the conversation because things change. For us, it's that it's taking longer to have kid #1 than we hoped, and may take more money than we thought, so that changes any sort of conversation we had even a year ago about how many kids we'd have. These conversations, and even the agreements people make can shift over time.

I don't think you need to bring having kids up constantly, but starting an open and ongoing dialog would be a good thing.

spalko

We've been married for two years as well and early on we talked about kids and future plans. We didn't set a timeline for anything but wanted to pay off certain debts and have a certain amount of money in savings before we started trying. At this point we've paid off our debts and are on track for trying this fall. It's all about being able to have an open conversation with your spouse about what is going to work for your family. If it's not a conversation you are comfortable having, then you aren't ready.

ALHickok1

He told me. Open communication. H has always been ready for children.

Jags8

He told me, in a conversation. But I'm the one who isn't ready. So we talk about it occasionally. There are some things I/we want to accomplish first. We figured this all out by talking to each other.

NerdyLucy

He told me. 

I had been thinking of it throughout most of last year, but I hadn't brought it up yet because I was trying to decide if *I* was ready before I approached him about it, but he beat me to the punch, and then we talked about our hopes, fears, reservations, plans, etc., blah, blah, blah. We set a plan and now we're following it.

Brightesteyes

He told me last night that he wanted to start trying immediately. 

Helenahhandbasket

Just ask him.  He's your husband, no?

HannahandJeremy81

Thank you all for the replies!

Daisy- not really sure that was a great reply. We have been married almost 2 years and been just fine. I never said I was nervous to just ask my husband. 

Thanks everyone! 

purple_2012

Before getting married we said we wanted to wait until our 2-3 year anniversary. We are a few months shy of our 2 year anniversary. So I asked H if he was ready and he asked if I could take my pills until our anniversary trip. I will be finished with my pills the day we come back from our trip.

mkrk227

My husband has been ready for kids for the past three years, we've been married for four months lol. I always told him I would like to travel some and have gotten to do that. Going on a cruise in 5 days and after that we are going to start trying. We are both ready and in a good place. Definitely have that open communication!

FrodaBaggins

When we got engaged almost six years ago, we were both very much on the "no-babies" bandwagon. Before I accepted the proposal, however, I told him I wanted to be able to change my mind if I wanted to. (We were only 25 at the time.) He agreed and said he could see himself changing his mind too. I didn't start to feel like I was ready until about 2 years ago. Our life circumstances were NOT set up well for it then, though, so I just started dropping hints in a playful way to see how he reacted, knowing I wasn't serious. Things really started to solidify for us in the fall of 2012 and my hints became more reality-based. Then I started to get cold feet and shied away. Finally in summer of 2013, on my 31st birthday, he came to me and definitively said he wanted to start trying. Sat me down on the couch and everything. So I think that hints and being interested/commenting about babies a lot is a good sign, but opening the channels of communication wide is the best way to go about it!

DaBearsFansWife

DH was begging us to TTC before we even got married. Two years later we are on the same page and are TTC. The whole time we maintained open communication about it. There weren't any fights, we just waited until we both thought we were ready. (Although it was nice that he was the one always super excited about it instead of me for a change)