Super bummed hubster

PoppySeedWindsor

So we talked with my hubby's parents today and found out that his dad isn't coming for the birth. We live on opposite sides of the country so travel is really difficult and expensive. I don't know what to do cheer him up or make him feel better. I mean, it's so important for him to have his dad there when he becomes a dad for the first time but I think the financial constraints and travel length (my FIL has bad Fibromyalgia) are just too much for my in-laws.

Any cheer-up ideas or words of wisdom to share with the hubster?

Am just bummed to the core about this. Bleh.

Brissett

Can you set up a Skype session for them at the hospital? Perhaps you can ask his father to send a card or letter to him and you can "surprise" your husband with the personal message from his father after the birth. There must be some ways for his father to take part in this special time.

SandiaLiz

I am planning to Skype with my sister a few times at the hospital since she can't be there. It isn't the same but I am always impressed with how much more it feels like a real visit than just a phone call! Most hospitals have internet access, maybe you could surprise him with a tablet to Skype with? They are a couple hundred, but maybe you could swing it?

TamiFaith

If he has a Smartphone you could always send him pictures that way with little updates re: labour, and then he's connected to you in "real time" without any expensive tech... and that way your Hubby doesn't have to worry about filming the whole thing or getting everything in view for a Skype... and if you decide you don't want a whole bunch of eyes on you duing delivery, you don't have to worry about it. HUbby cna also call his dad wih more details and info after Baby arries safely.

PoppySeedWindsor

Thanks to everyone for the suggestions. I love your idea @Brisset about the card/letter. I asked his mom today if that could happen. I think that'll really help him feel better about his dad missing his rite of passage into fatherhood. 

We will also definitely skype with him too.

Cheers to all!

jasrun80

personally from experience, it would be best if he could just plan a trip after,,, becoming a parent is SO overwhelming and the idea of tons of lots of visitors is not for me, but parents is obviously different... perhaps you can tell your husband something along the lines of "well, he tried,, and-- we don't know what to expect or how it all will pan out when the time DOES come, maybe we can settle in as our new little family and see them after?"

RebeccaY1

jasrun80 said:

personally from experience, it would be best if he could just plan a trip after,,, becoming a parent is SO overwhelming and the idea of tons of lots of visitors is not for me, but parents is obviously different... perhaps you can tell your husband something along the lines of "well, he tried,, and-- we don't know what to expect or how it all will pan out when the time DOES come, maybe we can settle in as our new little family and see them after?"

I agree with the visitors sentiment.  I know my parents and in-laws are excited to visit, but I don't want visitors for the birth.  It's so personal and I just want to share it with DH and enjoy our new family for a few days first.  You could set up a google talk or skype session, make plans for a time when you could visit his dad, and send tons of photos in the meantime.

PoppySeedWindsor

jasrun80 said:

personally from experience, it would be best if he could just plan a trip after,,, becoming a parent is SO overwhelming and the idea of tons of lots of visitors is not for me, but parents is obviously different... perhaps you can tell your husband something along the lines of "well, he tried,, and-- we don't know what to expect or how it all will pan out when the time DOES come, maybe we can settle in as our new little family and see them after?"

Our parents keep telling this to us. We just moved from Portland, OR to Cincinnati two months ago. We definitely miss our family and know we can't get back there until Christmas which is why we were so stoked to have them all over! I'm sure there's merit to feeling overwhelmed but it's difficult to believe that when everything is so new and we're just stoked to see our family.

Thank you all for the suggestions! We'll be skyping and sending pictures frequently!

PrimRoseMama

Re: Skype : my hospital did not allow it while I was in Labor & Delivery. It's wise to check & make sure it's allowed.

Take photos & send them to him in real time.

PoppySeedWindsor

@PrimRoseMama I know we can Skype/videochat/take pictures before and after delivery. The hospital has a strict no filming/picture taking while LO is coming out, which I personally think is uber lame. I mean, it's not as though I want to send my FIL pictures or video of LO coming out of my girl parts but it's still frustrating that I'm going to have this awesome natural birth experience and we won't be able to capture it.