I have a Kinda, Sorta, Not really board-related question

WestIsleFlower

My husband and I were discussing babies and baby related things, when the topic of finding out the sex came up. I want to be team green, but he wants to find out. I would love to be surprised and wait until delivery because I think it would be a very special moment for us (and our families). Does anyone else have/had experience with this? Is it possible for him to find out and not me if he can keep it a secret? I tried compromising and telling him we can wait with this one and the next one we can find out (or vice versa) but he says he really wants to know. Any advice?

WestIsleFlower

@clrkkntismyae I am afraid of it slipping That is one of my concerns. He tells his dad everything, so I am worried it will get out. I really want to pull the "I'm carrying so you have to follow my rules" card, but that isn't fair. We have a little while to discuss it more, but I know what I want.

-T-

We were the same - I wanted to be team green, he wanted to know. He said it was up to me so we waited until DS'S birth. I loved waiting and plan to be team green next time too.

Jags8

I would be worried that DH would accidentally refer to the baby as "he" or "she" and ruin it for me. I think your compromise sounds reasonable.

RandiMT

I personally want to know the sex, but keep it private between me and DH. I think it would be fun to know, but reveal it to everyone after the birth with the name.

orangecrush32

I wanted to be team green but DH wanted to find out..so we found out. Now after that experience I know that I could wait as we didn't find out til 28 weeks, but I would want to know to prepare DD for baby brother or sister.

yellowrose314

For our first baby, we decided we want to know the sex, and any kids after that we'll toss a coin. My sister in law and her husband decided to do the whole gender reveal cake thing; they got the ultrasound tech to put the sex in a sealed envelope and then they gave that to the baker for the baby shower cake. It was pretty priceless to see the looks on their faces. Could be fun!

WestIsleFlower

Thank you all for responding ladies I really like your idea @randimt that might work for us. I just have to let him know that this is a BIG compromise on my end. 

LaxMOM44

My friend had the technician write it down and put it in an envelope. Then her and her H had to wait until her due date to open the envelope. that way if the baby came early it would be a surprise and if the baby came late they could have a special due date gender reveal for just the two of them. might be a longtime for your H to wait, but maybe you could suggest it as a good compromise.

with DD we found out at 18 weeks and although I loved knowing, it hunk with the next one we want to be team green. 

Jellyfish42

I thought about the idea of being surprised, but DH wants to know, too! I love how excited he was at the prospect of knowing and being so involved, so all thoughts of not knowing went out the window! He didn't feel it would be a factor in bonding or anything, but he did think it would be much more fun to know! I think if you feel so strongly about not knowing, you need to really discuss it at length with him. Unfortunately its most likely either you both are surprised, or you both know, no in between. 

salbabe79

last time, my husband found out and i did not.  although he ended up telling a few people, it was a great experience to have him tell me we had a daughter when she was born instead of the doc.  plan on doing the same this time but with hubby telling less people!!

ashiscute

This was me too.  I definitely wanted to be team green and DH wanted to know so we could plan properly (still no idea what this means as he wanted to buy everything gender neutral anyway).  Anyway, our compromise was that we could fine out with one if we could be team green for the other and he got to pick.  So we found with our first and not the second.  

Being team green was amazing and way more fun and totally worth it.  I would never find out the sex again having done both.  And also, my DH still is the one who said "it's a boy!" to me not the doctor even though he didn't know the sex.  He was obviously down there and had a great view so he saw it first.  

I haven't tried it but I don't know how easy it is not to tell people if you know the sex.  I think it would be hard not to let it slip.  

Ardmhs83

We were team green the whole time.  We loved it...a wonderful surprise for sure  I was the one who didn't want to know.  He wanted to know at first, but told me that once he heard my reasons...he was on board.  We have both decided we will find out next time.  So we are taking turns like you mentioned.  I think it would be hard to keep a secret like that.  May be a better idea to both try to agree on what to do and take turns for the next child. 

Good luck!

capinjen152

We were team green with #1 and I hated not knowing. Plus, after hours of labor and pushing no one even gave me the big announcement. I had to ask what it was as they were drying him off on my chest.

So with #2 we found out and just didn't tell anyone else. Much better experience. Plus I felt like I was able to bond more with #2 before the birth because he had a name, etc.

theholmanherd

RandiMT said:

I personally want to know the sex, but keep it private between me and DH. I think it would be fun to know, but reveal it to everyone after the birth with the name.

This is exactly what my husband and I decided to do. We want to know, but we want it to be a secret. We're going to tell our family we're team green so they don't keep asking.

WestIsleFlower

Thank you everyone for the responses! I was out for a couple days but I appreciate all the feedback I think we will just need to have a more in depth conversation about it.