How early is too early?

weddingringsandbabythings

Or does it really matter. 

We'll find out the sex on April 8th, I'll be 19 weeks then. My mom is hosting the shower, she wants to do blue/green or pink/purple, but she keeps asking me for my opinions and input on what I want. I don't want to be rude, I'm excited to help her however I can, but I feel like since we haven't even had our a/s yet, that it's too early for all these questions.

Her main question is when/what day I want it on..and I don't know. We'll have a busy spring/summer...as in like 13 birthday parties, a wedding, and other baby showers to go to (we have 9 other friends that are pregnant as well). So I feel like it would work best to have my shower mid April-ish, within the few weeks after my a/s, which would mean that we need to get on the ball with planning..but is 20-22 weeks too early, or does it matter?

Sam Buttons

It seems extremely early in my opinion. I would be super cautious sending out invites before your a/s and it sounds like youd have to if you did it at 20 or so weeks.

weddingringsandbabythings

Sam Buttons said:

It seems extremely early in my opinion. I would be super cautious sending out invites before your a/s and it sounds like youd have to if you did it at 20 or so weeks.

That's how I felt too. I just don't know what to tell her, I mean we could cancel on one of the events we'd be going to, but then I'd feel selfish. 

purple_2012

I think it's too early. I would pull out the calendar figure out when the other events are happening and then go from there.

jf198400

Way too early! I'm sorry but bday parties are definitely not important compared to your baby shower and even other peoples baby showers don't matter that much unless there's a big overlap in guest lists. Choose when it works for you and your host and don't try to plan around everyone else.

dufferoo

Wow I can't believe you already have the dates/times of birthdays parties and showers this summer- are these people sending out save-the-dates or what?! I agree with PPs that 22 weeks is too early to hold a shower, but there's no time like the present to start planning if your mom is a real go-getter. When you are picking a shower date, just keep in mind that the shower is a brief, minor event that doesn't require its own weekend. There must be a 3-hour window open somewhere in your last trimester!

ccam

I wouldn't feel comfortable having a shower so early. 

weddingringsandbabythings

Thank you guys. The specific dates for birthday parties aren't chosen yet, but we have a lot of family members with summer birthdays, so we know we'll have them this year as well since theyv are all kids. I'm sure she can find something, all the dates are just hard tobworknaround, I guess. 

Nicolewinsbingo

Its okay to have your shower the same weekend as a bday party...pick one of those weekends once you're 28-38 weeks along.

VOR

Nicolewinsbingo said:

Its okay to have your shower the same weekend as a bday party...pick one of those weekends once you're 28-38 weeks along.

This.  If there is THAT much stuff going on, weekends are going to have to be double booked. 

weddingringsandbabythings

Darbie914 said:

I read your other post regarding your sex reveal party.  While I agree that it seems too early to have a shower, would you be willing to combine the two?  It seems like a lot to plan both a sex reveal party and a baby shower so close together, especially for your guests.

The sex reveal isn't really a party. We're moving back to our home town at the end of March, and our family is just getting together for it, with 2 of our close friends. So no one else will be going to both events, we just wanted to tell both sides of the family at the same time, and get cute pictures for the baby book. Otherwise, that would definitely be a good idea. 

weddingringsandbabythings

VOR said:

Nicolewinsbingo said:

Its okay to have your shower the same weekend as a bday party...pick one of those weekends once you're 28-38 weeks along.

This.  If there is THAT much stuff going on, weekends are going to have to be double booked. 

Thank you guys. I'm sure she can figure something out, she'd justvtalked about having it earlier, and I wanted to know what others thought, because I too felt it was early. 

mjberube89

How about later in May? Or very early June before all the other parties. Personally, I would attend a shower of a friend regardless of what week of pregnancy she's in.

74dragonfly

Third tri is best. I feel the need to share this: I got bad news at my a/s. I spent the next four weeks getting more tests. My Son had a rocky start but is doing fine now. I would not have been up for a party right after my a/s.

ThereBeDragons

22 weeks really is too early unless there are travel restrictions (like you have to fly cross country and your doc doesn't want you flying in the third trimester)

We knew at 17w that I would probably be delivering a preemie. The question has always been how early of a preemie. My MFM was trying to prepare me for delivering before 26weeks- thats how touch and go it was. Needless to say, the shower scheduling was complicated by not knowing when I'd be delivering. So if we wanted the shower before baby (and that was the preference) we had to consider holding it much earlier than is traditional.

In the end, though, we still decided to wait for the third trimester since even if baby came earlier- she'd be in the nicu for several months anyway. So we scheduled for 30weeks. Still early in the third trimester, and maybe too late for it to be before baby, but late enough that if I miraculously hadn't delivered yet (and its looking excellent as of today- thank god for cerclages and p17) it fit in the traditional shower window.

You can always have the baby shower in the evening- most kids birthday parties are morning/afternoon affairs. It could be fun

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RibbitGrl930

I agree it sounds too early. All three of my showers were in my third trimester and I was still plenty comfortable to enjoy them. Unless you're high-risk or there are travel issues, I don't see much reason to have a shower at 20 weeks.