2nd C-Section

Solstice7118

Hi all. I had my daughter via c-section in November 2012. It was unplanned, but she flipped to breech the day before my due date so they had me come in the next morning for the section. In retrospect it wasn't terrible, but it certainly wasn't awesome. Now that I'm expecting my second, I'm sort of freaking out about having another one. My doctors office (it's new to me, I just moved to a new state so had to find a new doc quickly) will not consider VBAC so I either have to find another doctor's office that will do it, or stick with this one and definitely have the section. I know there are lots of risks w/VBAC so I'm not even sure I want to do that. But, I'm literally terrified at the thought of another c-section. I guess part of it is that my daughter is really active and I'm worried that she'll unintentionally hurt me (her 2nd birthday is the day before my due date). But mostly I just keep thinking about the epidural (vaginal birth moms are laughing at me, I'm sure, but MAN that hurt!), the incision, the recover, not being able to use my ab muscles, not being able to walk, etc...). I was lucky (not sure lucky is the right word) enough to be unemployed last time so I didn't have to go back to work until I was 12 weeks PP, and then it was only part time. But now I'm working full time and will have to go back to work at 8 weeks, max. Last time it took me that long just to begin walking normally again! I guess I'm hoping that some of you 2nd (or more!) time c-section moms can just tell me what your experience was. One friend told me that the recovery for her second was much better than the first, which makes me feel a little better. But is she the exception to the rule, or the norm? Any experiences that you can share with me will hopefully ease my mind. Thanks all!

P.S - It has crossed my mind that my hormones may be to blame for my extreme anxiety, but having people's stories should hopefully still help. Thanks again!

Kim22

I found the second to be much easier and the third to be even better than that. I first time I was trying not to take a lot of pain meds but with the others I stayed on top of them and was better much faster. I also kept baby 1 with me all the time and left the hospital exhausted. With the other 2 I sent DH home, baby to the nursery and rested. They brought baby in to breastfeed. I left the hospital in such better shape. I have three years between my kids. Your 2 year old might make things more difficult. Will your SO be able to be home for a few weeks? If not I would want help with the other child. If you are working and already have daycare I would probably continue that for your 2 year old. Even if you VBAC you don't know what shape you will be in after delivery. I have friends who had worse vaginal births then my CS. You will be ok!

Solstice7118

Kim22 said:

I found the second to be much easier and the third to be even better than that. I first time I was trying not to take a lot of pain meds but with the others I stayed on top of them and was better much faster. I also kept baby 1 with me all the time and left the hospital exhausted. With the other 2 I sent DH home, baby to the nursery and rested. They brought baby in to breastfeed. I left the hospital in such better shape. I have three years between my kids. Your 2 year old might make things more difficult. Will your SO be able to be home for a few weeks? If not I would want help with the other child. If you are working and already have daycare I would probably continue that for your 2 year old. Even if you VBAC you don't know what shape you will be in after delivery. I have friends who had worse vaginal births then my CS. You will be ok!

Oh my goodness. Thank you SO much! I do feel better just hearing that. With my daughter I kept her with me the whole time (except when they made me give her up lol) and didn't get much rest. I also made them send me home a day early - silly first time mom! And, same as you, I tried to take as few drugs as possible. I hadn't even thought of my time in the hospital as time to start recovering, but I guess that's what it's for, right? And yes, I am extraordinary lucky that my DH is a STAHD so he'll be there the whole time and can at least try to distract our other LO. You're so right about vaginal births - there's no guarantee that it'll be better. Now that you mention it, my BFF broke her tailbone during her vaginal birth, and is still in pain from it. So I guess maybe it could be a lot worse - at least I healed from my section. Thank you again. I'm pretty sure it's the hormones, but I really need a lot or reassurance this time around

slwprincess

C/S recovery is as much mental as physical. If you dread it, it's going to be much harder. Mine have all been relatively easy- I think this last one (my 3rd) has been easiest b/c I really gave myself EXTRA recovery time. Lined up lots of help for the older two and basically just took it easy. Like pp, I used the nursery at the hospital, stayed the max allowed, took my meds on time, etc.

Abcollins57

It's possible that you're so nervous because you have so much more time to think about it! That is the case with me, I have known since day 1 of this pregnancy that I will be a RCS so I have had it in my mind the whole time. To be honest though, I haven't heard a single person say that their second was worst than the first. And I have read a lot! I guess knowing in advance means you're better prepared!

Solstice7118

slwprincess said:

C/S recovery is as much mental as physical. If you dread it, it's going to be much harder. Mine have all been relatively easy- I think this last one (my 3rd) has been easiest b/c I really gave myself EXTRA recovery time. Lined up lots of help for the older two and basically just took it easy. Like pp, I used the nursery at the hospital, stayed the max allowed, took my meds on time, etc.

Thanks slwprincess. I definitely think taking advantage of all the help available to me will work wonders. Thanks for the advice!

Solstice7118

Abcollins57 said:

It's possible that you're so nervous because you have so much more time to think about it! That is the case with me, I have known since day 1 of this pregnancy that I will be a RCS so I have had it in my mind the whole time. To be honest though, I haven't heard a single person say that their second was worst than the first. And I have read a lot! I guess knowing in advance means you're better prepared!

Thanks so much abcollins! I think you're completely right; I can't seem to stop thinking about it, so it's driving me nuts. I guess I need to just relax and remember that I'll have lots of help. Thanks so much

jesselayne8

My second csection was a little harder. Both times I labored before hand. However with my first I lived in a tiny 1st floor apartment and only had a tiny baby to take care of. The second time around I lived in a 2 story house and had a 17 month toddler to take care off along with a newborn. I was on my own by 10 days postpartum including lifting my toddler in and out of her high chair and crib and carrying her up and down the stairs. All that being said it wasn't bad. I listened to my body and rested as much as possible.

Justabean3

2nd was way easier than my first although 1 was emergency and 2 was not. I was up walking around by the end of day 1

Solstice7118

jesselayne8 said:

My second csection was a little harder. Both times I labored before hand. However with my first I lived in a tiny 1st floor apartment and only had a tiny baby to take care of. The second time around I lived in a 2 story house and had a 17 month toddler to take care off along with a newborn. I was on my own by 10 days postpartum including lifting my toddler in and out of her high chair and crib and carrying her up and down the stairs. All that being said it wasn't bad. I listened to my body and rested as much as possible.

From the stories that I've read so far, I think that planned vs. unplanned makes a difference. And luckily, I'll have help so it should be as bad. I definitely think that I'll make sure to rest a lot more this time, especially since I'll have help - it seems to make the biggest difference!

Solstice7118

Justabean3 said:

2nd was way easier than my first although 1 was emergency and 2 was not. I was up walking around by the end of day 1

Definitely beginning to think that planned is perhaps easier (makes sense, right?). Thanks for your sharing!

Justabean3

I also think vbacs are dangerous and I have a shallow pelvis anyway. I can't imagine something going wrong that could have been prevented. I would never forgive myself if I was that 2% or whatever. Someone has to make up that stat!

Honestly it took all the stress of waiting. I had a date and time set, walked in and was admitted...
Went through all the questions, walked to the OR and they did the epidural.

My only request was please don't tie my arms down which was not a problem. They played some type of Moroccan music and talked about margaritas on a beach during the section...

Honestly it was nice, easy and smooth.

dh79

I am 4 days PP after my 2nd C-section.  It has been WAY EASIER this time (at least so far, but I feel pretty confident that if any major problems were to arise, they would have done so by now).  

Knowing what is coming makes a big difference.  Like everyone else, I have been much better about being on top of pain meds this time and accepting offers of help.  I knew what kind of help I needed lined up and wasn't so afraid to call in favors from everyone.  

The other thing that I think at least made a difference for me is that I am in better shape this time.  With my 1st pregnancy I was on bedrest for 17 weeks.  My body was weak and therefore recovery took a lot longer.  This time my pregnancy went much smoother and I took a weekly maternity workout class and tried to walk once or twice a week.  I was up and around much quicker this time and 4 days out I am feeling better than I did at 10 days out last time.

Even with an active 19 month old and living farther from family than I did last time, this time has been much easier.  I hope it is the same for you!

Solstice7118

Justabean3 said:

I also think vbacs are dangerous and I have a shallow pelvis anyway. I can't imagine something going wrong that could have been prevented. I would never forgive myself if I was that 2% or whatever. Someone has to make up that stat! Honestly it took all the stress of waiting. I had a date and time set, walked in and was admitted... Went through all the questions, walked to the OR and they did the epidural. My only request was please don't tie my arms down which was not a problem. They played some type of Moroccan music and talked about margaritas on a beach during the section... Honestly it was nice, easy and smooth.

You just hit on my husbands exact thinking; that if we know the exact day/time we are delivering, we can better set up care for our daughter. Plus, no stressing about "did my water break, am I in labor, etc...". Anyway, thanks for your comments. I'm still going to talk about both options with my OB and make sure to deliver at a hospital that "allows" VBAC just so that I feel more in control of the situation, but maybe a second section isn't such a bad thing...

Solstice7118

dh79 said:

I am 4 days PP after my 2nd C-section.  It has been WAY EASIER this time (at least so far, but I feel pretty confident that if any major problems were to arise, they would have done so by now).  

Knowing what is coming makes a big difference.  Like everyone else, I have been much better about being on top of pain meds this time and accepting offers of help.  I knew what kind of help I needed lined up and wasn't so afraid to call in favors from everyone.  

The other thing that I think at least made a difference for me is that I am in better shape this time.  With my 1st pregnancy I was on bedrest for 17 weeks.  My body was weak and therefore recovery took a lot longer.  This time my pregnancy went much smoother and I took a weekly maternity workout class and tried to walk once or twice a week.  I was up and around much quicker this time and 4 days out I am feeling better than I did at 10 days out last time.

Even with an active 19 month old and living farther from family than I did last time, this time has been much easier.  I hope it is the same for you!

Good to know! I do get quite a bit of walking in, so hopefully that will help. I did just find out that the hospital I am going to deliver at does not take the baby back to the nursery; they leave the baby in the room 24/7 according to their website. Not sure if that's a hard rule, but it might make it harder to get rest. Though if we do another section we can try to have someone come stay at the house to care for our dog and daughter. That way my husband could stay at the hospital with me the whole time. Hmmm...we'll see, I suppose. Thank you for your thoughts!

nosoup4u

Justabean3 said:

I also think vbacs are dangerous and I have a shallow pelvis anyway. I can't imagine something going wrong that could have been prevented. I would never forgive myself if I was that 2% or whatever. Someone has to make up that stat!

@Justabean3 VBACs are just as "risky" as one RCS. They carry different risks, but both are safe choices (and the risks of CS go up with the more a woman has). The chance of a uterine rupture during a VBAC is .75%.

@Solstice7118, one of the big factors for me in choosing a VBAC was that I wasn't comfortable with the risks of three CS. Definitely look into finding a practice that supports VBAC. There are women who plan for a VBAC, but give themselves a "deadline" (40-41 weeks), so they don't have to stress about due dates as much. I had a second-degree tear with my VBAC, but the recovery time was shorter than with my CS, no question.

These are goods link about CS vs. VBAC:
https://givingbirthwithconfidence.org/2-2/a-womans-guide-to-vbac/weighing-the-pros-and-cons/

https://www.childbirthconnection.org/article.asp?ck=10212

Solstice7118

nosoup4u said:

@Solstice7118, one of the big factors for me in choosing a VBAC was that I wasn't comfortable with the risks of three CS. Definitely look into finding a practice that supports VBAC. There are women who plan for a VBAC, but give themselves a "deadline" (40-41 weeks), so they don't have to stress about due dates as much. I had a second-degree tear with my VBAC, but the recovery time was shorter than with my CS, no question.

These are goods link about CS vs. VBAC:
https://givingbirthwithconfidence.org/2-2/a-womans-guide-to-vbac/weighing-the-pros-and-cons/

https://www.childbirthconnection.org/article.asp?ck=10212

Thank you SO much for the links - I'm going to check out both now. Also, thank you for the info on your experiences. I do have to say that the thought of a tear freaks me out a little, but it's GOT to be better than a full incision, right? Lol. Anyway, I've got the number for an OB that I think will consider VBAC and I'm going to call them in the morning. Thanks again - much appreciated!

Justabean3

@Solstice7118 PM

megs68

I tried for a VBAC with DD but ended up with a RCS. It was a lot a easier than my first, since I didn't labor. But it was still very difficult, especially with a very active 23 month old at home who still needed help into the crib, Into the high chair, etc and didn't understand why I couldn't hold him. I am now trying for a vba2c (due end of March). The risks of a VBAC with two kids at home are much better to me than the risks of another c/s. If you're considering more children, consider the risks of a third or fourth c/s, since the risks increase a lot. Also, I have a lot of anxiety and sadness with my first two that still lingers when I think about how I couldn't hold the kids for so long afterwards, how I was so nauseous and out of it when they were born, how I didn't feel like an active participant in my children's births, so avoiding another c/s and having a natural vaginal birth is important to me.