Anxiety & Depression Affecting my Job

Bruton8288 · March 2014

**Ticker Warning/LO mentioned**

Ever since I lost Elizabeth in Aug my life has been nothing but a mess. I have been on 4 different type of medication. I was diagnosed

with PTSD & was hospitalized in Jan after having thoughts of hurting myself. I was under the 72 hrs watch. I work for a mortgage

company's call center & since everything has happen I have given up on my job, myself & just life in general. Sometimes I am such

a negative Nancy ,I make my DH upset. Now it's have come to bite me on the butt because I am at the point of losing my job. I don't

know what to do, I can't lose my job I have a LO who is 2 years old who has developmental delays & a walking disability so I need the

health insurance. I feel my whole world is crumbling down, I feel lost, I can't live like this anymore.

GymSpaz26 · March 2014

I'm so sorry for what you're going through. I was really struggling with depression and anxiety for a while. I know meds can help some, I took antidepressants for several years in the past. But I know I've really been able to move through things and move forward with the help of counseling, both then and now after the loss of my son. It hasn't been easy, but I know I wouldn't have been able to do it alone.

Have you looked into counseling? I know it can be a scary thing. But if you can find a good counselor that you really connect with, maybe they can help you work through your pain and start to feel a little more grounded again. It is so important to find someone you really connect with though. It might not be the first person you try and that's okay. A lot of counselors will even do a free shorter get to know you visit so you can meet them and see if you think it might be a good fit.

Again, I'm so sorry for what you're going through. I hope you can find the support and encouragement you need to walk forward each day and to be there for your LO and DH. Sending you hugs!

bunnybun4 · March 2014

I'm so sorry you are having such a hard time...I agree with PP about finding a counselor so you can get some help with your grief and start to feel some relief. I don't know where I would be if I hadn't of gotten help from mine.

((hugs)) hope you start to feel better soon.

ikrystal · March 2014

I wish i had magic words and great advice for you. I don't. I know what it is like to have depression and anxiety and feel like my whole world is over because my boys are gone. I still feel that way. I still wake up and stare at their picture across from my bed and think that I shouldn't be waking up. But here we are.

I know some hospitals have grief support groups specifically for people who have lost babies. Mine had one, and while my husband and I do not attend anymore we do know that particular group has made close friends from those meetings.

Also, if you do look for a counselor, there are some that deal specifically with grief and loss. I would look for one of those. They are more like to be sympathetic and know what to say.

Besides having my husband, the only thing that has really gotten me through this period has been writing (in my blog, or just letters to my babies) and reading (memoirs of other mothers who have gone through the same thing or similar). I lose myself in my writing and its my way of venting. Reading helps me get caught up in someone else's world, and while it still reminds me of what happened to our family it makes me feel like I am not alone.

I hope you find the support and get the help you need. This isnt fair, at all. I wish you the best.

shandorfml2 · March 2014

I'm so sorry honey. It's easy to see how after losing a child, things can easily crumble. I've been on anxiety/depression meds for years, and continued during my pregnancy due to low risk for baby. When I was younger I tried many different meds and actually some of them made me feel suicidal. I'd work closely with your doc (and if you aren't seeing a psychiatrist, I'd recommend it as they have much more specialized training) to find the right fit. Things will turn around. Take care of yourself, allow yourself to grieve. I echo PP's about therapy and support groups. They have been a life saver for me.