Ok I'm confused!

realisticdreams

I was on facebook on my phone and a baby was on it from a group who has a cranial deformity/shunt and DD1 saw the pic and said, "she looks funny"
I immediately corrected her, I didn't yell but my tone was firm, and I said, "no P, we don't say people are funny looking, we can say they are different, but that's not OK" At which point she immediately breaks down into tears which have been going on for 30mins now (after a time out/negotiation/communication)!  I've tried to explain it to her over and over every way that I can.  

She is around children who have all kinds SN all the time and has never said a negative comment, but I wanted to nip it in the bud.  I'm sure she didn't mean anything behind it, but if we would have saw the baby at a doctor's office I would never want her to word it like that.  I told her that people may think she looks funny in her wheel chair, or that her scar is funny, or that her friend E, who has had an NG tube, caths, and has a wheelchair is funny, and how that's not true you are all so beautiful and strong, and that funny is just a mean word sometimes.  

She's still hiding her face crying into me, and I can't wrap my head around why she's so upset.  It's certainly not the first time she's been corrected, and we have actually yelled at her plenty and not received a response like this.  I'm so confused!!

JoJoGee

I wonder if someone has said she is funny looking, and she doesn't know how to verbalize that to you.

Or, I wonder if she empathizes with the baby and now feels very bad for having made a hurtful remark.

algalphys

I'm mobile so I can't see how old your lo is but I've noticed my DS (nearly 3 now but 2.5 when ds2 was born) had been ultra sensitive since September when ds2 was born. Any time he gets in trouble he runs away and cries for a while by himself. Don't know if it's age related or sibling related...

realisticdreams

I told her when we get her wheelchair people are probably going to stare and may say things. I think I figured it out..I'm pretty sure she was embarrassed and felt bad immediately. I didn't bring it up today it may have been as simple as noticing someone has a different skin color which is normal for a 4yo but I never want her to have that mindset about disabilities and differences.