Finding a babysitter for a wedding - out of state.

chip22

We will be attending a family wedding in Rutherford New Jersey in May and I'm having an impossible time finding a babysitter.  We're coming down from Canada and all of our family that we would leave DS with will  be at the wedding.

I called the hotel we'll be staying at and they don't have any babysitters or agencies that they recommend.  (At our wedding the hotel had an agency they used and we were able to arrange childcare for our guests with kids).  I also called another hotel in the area with no luck.

I tried care.com but I need to enter my location and it needs to be verifiable and it can only be in the US.  So that's out.  (super annoying by the way)

angies list wants my zip code to even tell me how much their subscription is and when I google I'm not finding much other than care.com and sitter city (which seems to be the same thing)

Can anyone help me out?  Are there other options I'm not thinking of?

skibunny59

I agree with PP about talking to your family and having them recommend someone.  Who's wedding is it?  I'm sure the bride or groom know someone who would babysit for you.

We were in a similar situation where we were attending a wedding out of state for my SIL.  SIL found a sitter for us so we didn't have to worry about it.

chip22

LalaMama81 said:

Talk to your family that does live there - surely they know someone. Neighbor, teen from church, coworker, etc. Also use one of their addresses to register for care.com or any other sitter service. 

the wedding is out of town for them too.  about 45 minutes away.  My mom asked my aunt (it's my cousin's wedding) and she didn't have any leads on babysitters.    That was our first thought.

minervacullen

Could you bring someone with you? We did that when DS was 2.

meglette417

I think a year membership for Angie's List is $20 so it might be worth it and I hear it is great for other things.

brachysira

I personally wouldn't hire someone from the internet for one time.  We use care.com with lots of success, but I stay home the first couple times they sit.  Plus, we do an interview.  I would call references if I wasn't going to stay home for a couple rounds.  That all seems like a lot of work for one day. I would definitely push the wedding party.  Someone has to have a cousin, know a teacher who can recommend a student, have a neighbor, or have kids and a baby-sitter themselves.  

mb314

What about posting on the New Jersey board here and see if someone can recommend their sitter? 

chip22

mb314 said:

What about posting on the New Jersey board here and see if someone can recommend their sitter? 

That's a great idea.  I'll try that.  (I'm not a regular here so I didn't know there was a NJ board)

michyme123 said:

Are they allowing kids at the wedding? If so I would just be tempted to bring lo at that point. 

Nope.  No kids.  

minervacullen said:

Could you bring someone with you? We did that when DS was 2.

Maybe.  We're going to see if DH's niece (20) and her BF (25) want to tag along (maybe the proximity to NYC will help sweeten the deal).  the problem with that option is we'll need to rent a mini-van as we drive a Corolla and we'd probably have to get them their own room so then its extra $$$$.  The other option we're playing with is asking DH's brother and SIL...not sure how likely this is.

fusionbride

can you use the hotel location data for care.com and angie's list?

definitely keep asking the bride/groom.  if they have an event coordinator, maybe that person who can hook you up with a local agency?

or how far is the wedding from your hotel?  maybe you can arrange rotating shifts for a team of like 5 people that take turns watching LO so no one person misses too much of the event?

we ended up bringing our baby to a similar out-of-town destination wedding scenario, even though initially babies were not invited.  neither the bride, nor me, nor her two other relatives with little kids could figure out another option.  It turned out fine to have the LOs there (though less fun for me to be on mommy duty rather than partying the whole time )

chip22

fusionbride said:

can you use the hotel location data for care.com and angie's list?

definitely keep asking the bride/groom.  if they have an event coordinator, maybe that person who can hook you up with a local agency?

or how far is the wedding from your hotel?  maybe you can arrange rotating shifts for a team of like 5 people that take turns watching LO so no one person misses too much of the event?

we ended up bringing our baby to a similar out-of-town destination wedding scenario, even though initially babies were not invited.  neither the bride, nor me, nor her two other relatives with little kids could figure out another option.  It turned out fine to have the LOs there (though less fun for me to be on mommy duty rather than partying the whole time )

According to care.com you have to enter your actual location.  I think they verify it or something.  (I was told this when I complained because I actually got signed up for care.com canada and can't access the  American info).

I should see if they have an event coordinator or something.  My mom was surge that my aunt would have friends and contacts and would for sure be able to help out but my understanding is she said she has no idea and can't recommend anyone.  

It looks like the wedding is about 15-20 minute drive from the hotel.  DH has said that worst case he could just stay at the hotel with Ds but I feel like that's kind of a sucky idea.  My siblings are leaving their kids with either their spouses at home (in toronto) or with the kids other grandparents so that they can party hard...so i don't think they'd want to rotate duty.  I'm uncomfortable leaving DS with my in-laws because they are in their 70s and just can't keep up with him and I don't like the idea of leaving him in Canada while we are in the states.  It's too far, it involves passports, etc.  kwim.  I'll talk it over with my parents on the weekend and see if they think some people might be willing to go back occasionally to sit with him for a bit once he's asleep.

I've met the bride once for a few minutes.  My cousin is the groom.  I don't want to be THAT guest who is bugging her about bringing my kid to the no kids wedding.  kwim?