Announcing sooner due to IVF

PghRunner22

Hello! I'm wondering when everyone announced they were preggo.  We just underwent IVF (second round) and were lucky enough to end in BFP.  It's very early (5-6wks) so we only told our parents.  However, given that we were on the looooooooooooooong fertility road most family and close friends knew we did a FET and are now asking how we are doing! If this were natural it would be easy to keep the secret... given that it was IVF and we were very public about our battle it just feels wrong to lie. Any others in this situation? 

aander6

I think you can tell anyone who you would tell if you did lose the baby. That is my philosophy. I should say I did not do IVF. But I think the same idea would work in your situation. If they are people you shared your fertility journey with I think there is nothing wrong with telling them and celebrating with them. 

saraeric

I was kind of in your situation, although we were doing IUI but our parents, friends, and girls I work with knew our general "timing" of things. We told our parents right away and then our friends/work team at 6 weeks. I've gradually let more people know after hearing the heartbeat again at 10 weeks. We'll announce on FB after my 13 week appointment. 

barely

aander6 said:

I think you can tell anyone who you would tell if you did lose the baby. That is my philosophy. I should say I did not do IVF. But I think the same idea would work in your situation. If they are people you shared your fertility journey with I think there is nothing wrong with telling them and celebrating with them. 

This.

jaztastic

I did/doing IVF, and I 100% agree with @aander6. Go ahead an announce, especially if you are out and open about trying. I personally don't go by the "wait until after 1st tri" rule. I go by the It's your body and your business rule. And going through a loss is no less traumatic if you keep it a secret or not. So tell anyone you want whenever you are ready. Best of luck and I hope you have a H&H nine months.

kmwills

I've already told some family & close friends who knew of our fertility struggles.  They all know that we're not out of the woods yet, but I'm grateful for and comforted by their extra prayers.

deepnasingh

After Ttc for five years I was just too excited to tell .. Most people knew I was undergoing fertility treatment so it was hard to keep it a secret .. I'm six weeks n already close family members know abt it. I plan to tell few close friends after the second scan in a few days. I'll plan to go public after 12 weeks

4legsRbest

My immediate family knows the whole IVF saga with us so they knew as soon as I got my first beta back. DH's parents found out after our first u/s. We haven't told anyone else and I won't until after the NT scan and genetic testing, if I make it that far.

I have had a loss and "untelling" coworkers and casual freinds sucks, really really bad, IMO.

Manada

We did IVF and will likely be in this situation at work because my boss was so supportive during that time.   So far I've skirted around questions with a "it changes, some days it's good, other days it's totally heartbreaking" which is true of our journey so far.     I have a feeling that if/when we get to the point where we are graduating from the RE's office I will have to give a more definitive answer though, I'm just waiting until I feel more secure that it will stick.

Helenahhandbasket

I haven't been down that road personally, but it's your body and your decision when to tell.  Not telling isn't lying-- many women (including myself) chose to keep the news mum until the first trimester has come and gone.  You don't owe anyone an update.

If you want to tell-- that's also up to you.  GL !

jennysolis

We just had a successful IVF. We told my in laws the day we found out only because they knew about everything and helped fund the IVF. We have a few friends that know about our long journey and have sent well wishes but haven't outright asked yet. When/if they do I plan to be honest. I don't believe in lying when its about a life that we've been dreaming of for the past two years! I think we plan to tell most family and friends after we hear the heartbeat. 

mumach

We also did IVF and were very open about it. I'm a bad liar. So we basically announced after heartbeat at 6w6d so it was our news and not for others to spread. I figured I was able to share the pain of infertility so I could handle sharing any other bad news if it came. We are now 10 weeks. Good luck and congrats!!!

ThereBeDragons

One of the major downsides to being open about infertility treatments is that it really robs you of the ability to really keep anything a secret. The friends and family who knew when we were going in for our FET were told after the second beta. We asked them to keep the news off social media and to let us tell others when the time felt right. We loosened the reigns around 8 weeks and let it start to circulate via the family rumor mill- still with the caveat that it stay off social media. I wasn't "out" on Facebook until 28 weeks and friends/family we aren't close to found out in the second trimester. It's all about controlling the flow of information though.