MIL gives me Anxiety attacks

awalrath2

Ok sometimes this makes me feel like such a mean person... but I cannot stand my MIL... to the point that she gives me anxiety attacks... I DO NOT want her to visit the hospital when the baby is born, and if I had my way she would never visit. 

Here is some history and why I feel as if I am just mean... My MIL is in some way or form mentally handicapped, I dont know why I dont knwo what happened or what is wrong with her... there are rumors, but nothing that has been disclosed.. its like a family secret on my husbands side of the family, and even i am not allowed to know what is wrong with her.  (I am half tempted to call her sisters and ask)  She acts like a 10 year old, she tells the same story 3 times in one visit.  She constaintly asks the same questions again 3 times in one visit.  She inturrups people having a  conversation, with topics that are not even related to the conversation.  She acts very child like.  So much so I can no longer take it... Even if i keep telling my self she is handicapped, because no one in the family except for me will acknolege it... they will not admit it...

She keeps highly addictive and dangerous medications within reach of children in tupperware containers... she falls asleep at the drop of a hat, she is constaintly asking to watch my 8 year old daugher even though she has been told 100's of times that she is not allowed to watch or be around my children unsupervised due to her handicaps.  My husband or I must be at least on the same property. 

I am a Christian and so is my husbands family but I am very open and honest and refuse to pressure people about religion, she tries to push things on my daughter, things that dont allign with the way I personally worship.  

I feel like such a mean person but I cannot help the fact that if she is in the same room as me I have an anxiety attack, and its all i can do to not run as far away as possible.  Or scream at her... I have asked my husband to ask her not to visit the hospital after our next child is born he is due in April... I would like it to be at our house so that I can go in another room and breath... and not watch it, last time she picked up my daughter (she trips a lot) and carried her across the hospital room, I thought I was going to faint...

I just want to run and cry, just thinking of her... my heart races, i want to cry and scream!... I dont know what to do ... My Dr has requested that I do not assocate with the "trigger" but how do you not associate with your MIL.. Dr's Orders?

Disneygeek77

Well ultimately I don't think there is anything wrong with telling people to wait until you are home from the hospital.  This is a special experience for you too and if it would be better for you to meet your MIL in the comfort of your own home, then so be it. 

However, if she were to come to the hospital, make sure your husband is there.  Have her come at a scheduled time and if she gets overwhelming for you, have a code word for your husband / nurse and gently escort her out of your room.  

Nicolewinsbingo

If she visits in the hospital, ask the nurse to dismiss all visitors 30 minutes after arrival (or whatever time you're comfortable with). You can let your nurse know that you're only okay with MIL visiting for x minutes at a time, and she'll help you.

awalrath2

Thank you for the responses... I am working on getting a therapist but unfortunatly there are few accepting patients that are in my Insurance Network.  My MIL is on some serious Medications, she does not get any therapy, but no on will let us know what is wrong with her... my husband does not know... all he knows is that when he was 5 he lived with his grandparents for a year because she was in the hospital... and she was at one time what he perceved as normal. 

As for the Christian aspect, Anxiety is not from God.  The issues with my MIL in terms of the anxiety are medical issues on my end, that I am trying to cope with.  Sometimes the nicest thing I can do for her is to not be around her becuase I get so short and angry, I dont want to hurt her feelings.  It is much easier said than done... and something I have been working on for 9 years... But when you have a new baby and you are trying to adjust to that the last thing I need is a panic attack because my MIL is there..