...

MommyGosse

did not want MORE kids... sorry forgot the more

MommyGosse

if he was going to make a run for it he would have a long time ago as hes taken on all 3 of my children who arent biologically his... so no hes not running what good would that do hes been with me for 2 years weve been engaged for 1 year and are getting married in less than 3 months. how can you say something so rude to anyone...

Unknown

This content has been removed.

cMichelle0423

somerandomchick said:

cMichelle0423 said:

If this isn't MUD (which honestly I think it could go either way), I feel like there's something OP isn't telling. I'm no doctor, but I feel like with her taking the pill and him being told he has low fertility, it'd be damn near impossible for her to get pregnant.... something isn't adding up here!

Also, OP, from what I've seen, you've gotten plenty of good advice. Just because no one sugar coated things and told you what you wanted to hear, doesn't mean they gave you bad advice. You came here asking for opinions and that's exactly what you got.

To be fair, "damn near impossible" is not the same as impossible... The fact that BC is 99% effective doesnt mean anything to you if you're that 1%, KWIM?

I had a friend who supposedly got pregnant on BCP + using condoms.

It's not IMPOSSIBLE for birth control to fail, just not super likely

That's why I said "damn near impossible" and not impossible. I went to middle school health class, i know how bc works.

MallardDucky

MommyGosse said:

and one more thing before i go i also did not want more children not right now we have a 4 year old and twin 3 year olds who keep us busy as is so no we ddi not want kids we discussed having them 2 years from now using ivf treatments if we absolutly could not conceive so no my fiance is not LEAVING MY ASS as the chick said and no i did not trick him into thinking i was on the pill we took all our vitamins and pills in the morning getting ready for work together. so he knows for a fact i did not trick him by not taking it. and yes a doctor told us it would be near impossible to get pregnant due to his insulin causing low fertility and i was on the pill since my twins were a few months old... luckily he took the news alot better than i expected and agreed we would not be getting an abortion he didnt even ask me to consider it he siad we will deal with things as it comes and make everything work. he was worried but not angry... and no this is not MUD thanks though and thank you for all the GOOD advice i had asked for and warm kindness. 

QFP.

You said he didn't want any "more" kids so how is discussing IVF come into play?

MallardDucky

MommyGosse said:

I haven't told my fiancé the news that im pregnant, he's always said he doesn't want kids just the ones we already have (not his by blood but he's raised them) I am 6 weeks pregnant and every time I mention a baby he mentions the "ALTERNATIVE" the thing is it was rare for us to even conceive due to his insulin shots he's had since he was 5. I Really want to keep this baby is it normal to want to keep it from him until I'm ready to tell him? or am I being inconsiderate?(please no rude comments I am not a b**** it's just I've really wanted another baby lately and conceiving was accidental and a huge surprise.

QFP

ETA you said here in your OP that "it's just I've really wanted another baby lately"

How is that not wanting any more kids?

The plot thickens

Empireceo

MommyGosse said:

and one more thing before i go i also did not want more children not right now we have a 4 year old and twin 3 year olds who keep us busy as is so no we ddi not want kids we discussed having them 2 years from now using ivf treatments if we absolutly could not conceive so no my fiance is not LEAVING MY ASS as the chick said and no i did not trick him into thinking i was on the pill we took all our vitamins and pills in the morning getting ready for work together. so he knows for a fact i did not trick him by not taking it. and yes a doctor told us it would be near impossible to get pregnant due to his insulin causing low fertility and i was on the pill since my twins were a few months old... luckily he took the news alot better than i expected and agreed we would not be getting an abortion he didnt even ask me to consider it he siad we will deal with things as it comes and make everything work. he was worried but not angry... and no this is not MUD thanks though and thank you for all the GOOD advice i had asked for and warm kindness. 

Calm yourself. I'm glad things look like they are working out for you but people asked legit questions. You failed to mention at first that you were on birth control which is a much more effective method than diabetes for preventing pregnancy. Ergo, it's normal to wonder if you were conveniently leaving out some facts, both from us and your fiance. Stop calling people bitches, learn to use the quote button and good luck to you.

Helenahhandbasket

WashingtonQueen said:

I'm Telling him tonight i didnt expect so much negativity i was looking for some gentle advice and comfort this experience has not been kind to me my nerves are racked and i just needed some one to tell me a few ideas on how to tell him as hes my world this pregnancy was not expected and its my third pregnancy. my only pregnancy that ive been madly in love with the daddy of my baby and i wanted to make it special for him. him and all of my kids are my world, id do anything to keep them except get an abortion ... as for if he chose not to be apart of the childs life id let him walk away and wouldnt ask for a dime i would find he or she a family who would love and raise he or she properly. 

FWIW, I don't think this is MUD but you need to get your head our of your ass. There is no way to make this special for a person that never wanted this. It needs to be a heart to heart sit down. And don't force him for answers right this second, he will need days/weeks to process this. Give him space if he needs it and don't get offended. Good luck.

I totally think this is MUD.

MissLibertarian

@MommyGosse:   Please go get a new doctor. The one who told you about your fertility issues has been giving you bad advice. And you are aware that the pill is not 100% effective, correct? Just making sure we establish the facts.

I am glad that he warmed up to the idea of having kids, just to forewarn you though, most men get a little anxious when the due date gets closer, even those husbands we want kids 100% before the BFP. So keep up your communication with him. Have you guys thought about possibly seeing a therapist before you knew you were knocked up, as part of a pre-wedding plan? Because this would be a great idea now. Therapy helps keep communication open, helps him understand the changes in your relationship (going from dating, to engaged, to married, to daddy is a lot to take in). Just think about it... it would be super helpful.

Honestly though, look into seeing a new doctor...

TiffaniMay

So he WASN'T opposed to having another kid and even discussed IVF down the road. Completely opposite of what you previously said. I'm shocked you're surprised by any of the responses you've gotten here.

I'm glad you feel that only now you are a family. I'm sure your kids might have already got that impression since he's helped you raise them and has become their only dad. 

I changed my mind. This isn't MUD. Just craziness. 

kimberlymacrae

theresat858 said:

BBnut said:

My thoughts on this thread are yes!  She's on O14 BMB not N14.  Sorry October...

It's ok. We can handle the crazies.

Line them up... knock them down.

MissLibertarian

This was almost as good as the "my boyfriend's wife is pissed I am 5 months pregnant" post.

If TB does ever come out with a movie, who is going to go see it and think "yup, I remember that, and that, and that!"... drinking game anyone?

momthatlifts

MommyGosse said:

and one more thing before i go i also did not want more children not right now we have a 4 year old and twin 3 year olds who keep us busy as is so no we ddi not want kids we discussed having them 2 years from now using ivf treatments if we absolutly could not conceive so no my fiance is not LEAVING MY ASS as the chick said and no i did not trick him into thinking i was on the pill we took all our vitamins and pills in the morning getting ready for work together. so he knows for a fact i did not trick him by not taking it. and yes a doctor told us it would be near impossible to get pregnant due to his insulin causing low fertility and i was on the pill since my twins were a few months old... luckily he took the news alot better than i expected and agreed we would not be getting an abortion he didnt even ask me to consider it he siad we will deal with things as it comes and make everything work. he was worried but not angry... and no this is not MUD thanks though and thank you for all the GOOD advice i had asked for and warm kindness. 

I'm not a grammar nazi by any means, ever, but your sentences are running on really bad and it's making it hard to read and comprehend. Can you use some punctuation?

Glad you talked to him. Let's hope he doesn't get cold feet

MommyGosse

MallardDucky said:

and one more thing before i go i also did not want more children not right now we have a 4 year old and twin 3 year olds who keep us busy as is so no we ddi not want kids we discussed having them 2 years from now using ivf treatments if we absolutly could not conceive so no my fiance is not LEAVING MY ASS as the chick said and no i did not trick him into thinking i was on the pill we took all our vitamins and pills in the morning getting ready for work together. so he knows for a fact i did not trick him by not taking it. and yes a doctor told us it would be near impossible to get pregnant due to his insulin causing low fertility and i was on the pill since my twins were a few months old... luckily he took the news alot better than i expected and agreed we would not be getting an abortion he didnt even ask me to consider it he siad we will deal with things as it comes and make everything work. he was worried but not angry... and no this is not MUD thanks though and thank you for all the GOOD advice i had asked for and warm kindness. 

QFP. You said he didn't want any "more" kids so how is discussing IVF come into play?

he doesnt want any more kids atm ... either way i got my answer and im deleting this entire post considering weve now discussed and discovered we are going to have the baby and i didnt force him to come up with that fact he asked me what i wanted i answered but was surprised when he said hed stay no matter what

MommyGosse

MallardDucky said:

I haven't told my fiancé the news that im pregnant, he's always said he doesn't want kids just the ones we already have (not his by blood but he's raised them) I am 6 weeks pregnant and every time I mention a baby he mentions the "ALTERNATIVE" the thing is it was rare for us to even conceive due to his insulin shots he's had since he was 5. I Really want to keep this baby is it normal to want to keep it from him until I'm ready to tell him? or am I being inconsiderate?(please no rude comments I am not a b**** it's just I've really wanted another baby lately and conceiving was accidental and a huge surprise.

QFP ETA you said here in your OP that "it's just I've really wanted another baby lately" How is that not wanting any more kids? The plot thickens

wanting another baby yea but not to the point of having one its normal to have feelings about wanting a baby just not right at the moment i wanted to have finaces and everything in order and to be able to fit my wedding dress...

MommyGosse

triumphgrrrl said:

I'm trying to figure out how someone who didn't want kids is now suddenly warming up to the idea of one?

I was CFBC for years and years and it took me several years to even adjust and decide I wanted to have a child. And that was after a TON of weighing the pros/cons, how my life would change, having an older step-son, etc. And even after I thought I had made the concrete decision to have one, as soon as I got that BFP I had a lot of "OH SHIT WHAT HAVE I DONE" moments while I adjusted to my new situation.

I really don't see someone who didn't want kids - to the point that OP is scared to tell him about it - is so easily okay with the idea of the change.

he warmed up. i believe his first word that came out of his mouth was uhhh what now... after we spent the night discussing the outcome and wrote up a quick budget of how things could work he warmed up. hes not going anywhere hes already let me know that by telling his mom how hes going to be a daddy and shes going to be a grandma so and brought home supper for me and our kids... so it does happen i just have a better fiance than what you all think

WashingtonQueen

You can't delete a post.

MommyGosse

Nicb13 said:

triumphgrrrl said:

I'm trying to figure out how someone who didn't want kids is now suddenly warming up to the idea of one?

I was CFBC for years and years and it took me several years to even adjust and decide I wanted to have a child. And that was after a TON of weighing the pros/cons, how my life would change, having an older step-son, etc. And even after I thought I had made the concrete decision to have one, as soon as I got that BFP I had a lot of "OH SHIT WHAT HAVE I DONE" moments while I adjusted to my new situation.

I really don't see someone who didn't want kids - to the point that OP is scared to tell him about it - is so easily okay with the idea of the change.

Because OP is lying.

what the hell did i do to you i dont deserve to be treated this way your all being rediculous and rude. im not lying what so ever so get off it people do have real issues and are looking for help and comfort not to be degraded and pushed down your bullying me if you have nothing nice to say then back off

WashingtonQueen

Erasing everything doesn't take it all away, everything was quoted.

atmaloney

Why the hell can I not get to page 3?! 

WashingtonQueen

atmaloney said:

Why the hell can I not get to page 3?! 

Because of the periods in the title.

KingLED

atmaloney said:

Why the hell can I not get to page 3?! 

LINK to pg 3.

atmaloney

@WashingtonQueen ... You mean... I actually have to work right now instead?

MallardDucky

MommyGosse said:

Nicb13 said:

triumphgrrrl said:

I'm trying to figure out how someone who didn't want kids is now suddenly warming up to the idea of one?

I was CFBC for years and years and it took me several years to even adjust and decide I wanted to have a child. And that was after a TON of weighing the pros/cons, how my life would change, having an older step-son, etc. And even after I thought I had made the concrete decision to have one, as soon as I got that BFP I had a lot of "OH SHIT WHAT HAVE I DONE" moments while I adjusted to my new situation.

I really don't see someone who didn't want kids - to the point that OP is scared to tell him about it - is so easily okay with the idea of the change.

Because OP is lying.

what the hell did i do to you i dont deserve to be treated this way your all being rediculous and rude. im not lying what so ever so get off it people do have real issues and are looking for help and comfort not to be degraded and pushed down your bullying me if you have nothing nice to say then back off

Hahaha if anyone on this site can say they were bullied it's me. You got honest answers, and with changing stories people didn't believe you . Nowhere were you degraded and bullied, if you think that, this site isn't for you. Baby gaga might be a better fit. Please don't let the door hit you where the good lord split you.

Edit: quote fail, words

MissLibertarian

@MommyGosse:  I let it go once when you mentioned it in your 4:34p post, but there you go saying it again...

It is FINANCE... Not finace. Finances... money... get it?

And no one cares about your finances, we've actually given some pretty rock solid advice. No sugar, no coating, but good advice. If you can't hang I've heard Baby Center is accepting new speshul snowflakes during the first week of each month.

allrightmeow

BOO page 3 has been eaten by the bump.  Someone had a link but it doesn't work. 

AggieBeth06

So has pages 1 & 2.

cMichelle0423

MommyGosse said:

triumphgrrrl said:

I'm trying to figure out how someone who didn't want kids is now suddenly warming up to the idea of one?

I was CFBC for years and years and it took me several years to even adjust and decide I wanted to have a child. And that was after a TON of weighing the pros/cons, how my life would change, having an older step-son, etc. And even after I thought I had made the concrete decision to have one, as soon as I got that BFP I had a lot of "OH SHIT WHAT HAVE I DONE" moments while I adjusted to my new situation.

I really don't see someone who didn't want kids - to the point that OP is scared to tell him about it - is so easily okay with the idea of the change.

he warmed up. i believe his first word that came out of his mouth was uhhh what now... after we spent the night discussing the outcome and wrote up a quick budget of how things could work he warmed up. hes not going anywhere hes already let me know that by telling his mom how hes going to be a daddy and shes going to be a grandma so and brought home supper for me and our kids... so it does happen i just have a better fiance than what you all think


********quote fail *********


If anyone had a bad impression of what your fiancé was like, it's because of how YOU made him out to be. Saying you're scared to tell him and how he makes abortion jokes doesn't exactly make him look like man of the year.

On a side note, good luck deleting this post and don't forget, TB never forgets!

MommyGosse

WashingtonQueen said:

Erasing everything doesn't take it all away, everything was quoted.

i really dont care if it doesnt all go away he knows and i truly dont give a rats ass what an of you ladies have to say now...  

MommyGosse

FYI I did not change any story i told you all the whole story you asked for more details i gave them you all can burn goodbye

im deleting my account thanks to all of you i was looking for advice not to be rudely comented toward you pregnant hormonal cranks i hope you men leave your asses for the way you treat others when they are in need ... peace 

Empireceo

MommyGosse said:

FYI I did not change any story i told you all the whole story you asked for more details i gave them you all can burn goodbye

im deleting my account thanks to all of you i was looking for advice not to be rudely comented toward you pregnant hormonal cranks i hope you men leave your asses for the way you treat others when they are in need ... peace 

Nice! But I'd be more worried about what your own man is up to if I were you.

tealowl

MommyGosse said:

FYI I did not change any story i told you all the whole story you asked for more details i gave them you all can burn goodbye

im deleting my account thanks to all of you i was looking for advice not to be rudely comented toward you pregnant hormonal cranks i hope you men leave your asses for the way you treat others when they are in need ... peace 

I'm totally hoping I can use this phrase sometime in the future.

Also, my man would never leave DIS FINE ASS WUT

Meery82

MommyGosse said:

FYI I did not change any story i told you all the whole story you asked for more details i gave them you all can burn goodbye

im deleting my account thanks to all of you i was looking for advice not to be rudely comented toward you pregnant hormonal cranks i hope you men leave your asses for the way you treat others when they are in need ... peace 

Well now aren't you just oh so klassy.

WashingtonQueen

MommyGosse said:

WashingtonQueen said:

Erasing everything doesn't take it all away, everything was quoted.

i really dont care if it doesnt all go away he knows and i truly dont give a rats ass what an of you ladies have to say now...  
________________________________________
Gee, thanks for talking to me that way when all I've done is offer advice.

WashingtonQueen

MommyGosse said:

FYI I did not change any story i told you all the whole story you asked for more details i gave them you all can burn goodbye

im deleting my account thanks to all of you i was looking for advice not to be rudely comented toward you pregnant hormonal cranks i hope you men leave your asses for the way you treat others when they are in need ... peace 

I'm curious, why did a few of you flag this? Because she said she hopes your husbands leave you? But it was ok when someone else said it to her?

Meery82

WashingtonQueen said:

FYI I did not change any story i told you all the whole story you asked for more details i gave them you all can burn goodbye

im deleting my account thanks to all of you i was looking for advice not to be rudely comented toward you pregnant hormonal cranks i hope you men leave your asses for the way you treat others when they are in need ... peace 

I'm curious, why did a few of you flag this? Because she said she hopes your husbands leave you? But it was ok when someone else said it to her?

Probably because she said "you can all burn".

WashingtonQueen

Meery82 said:

WashingtonQueen said:

MommyGosse said:

FYI I did not change any story i told you all the whole story you asked for more details i gave them you all can burn goodbye

im deleting my account thanks to all of you i was looking for advice not to be rudely comented toward you pregnant hormonal cranks i hope you men leave your asses for the way you treat others when they are in need ... peace 

I'm curious, why did a few of you flag this? Because she said she hopes your husbands leave you? But it was ok when someone else said it to her?

Probably because she said "you can all burn".

Due to the lack of a proper sentence my brain skipped over that part.

haliebabyx3

Why is it when someone is mad it always seems like the "I hope your husband leaves you" phrase pops up? I have been seeing this quite often now. 

Mimaloo

Is this the one whose bf said he never wanted any kids other than the ones he already has but now she's [surprisingly] KTFU? And she's afraid to tell him because he'll think she trapped him? 

RachelCA29

haliebabyx3 said:

Why is it when someone is mad it always seems like the "I hope your husband leaves you" phrase pops up? I have been seeing this quite often now. 

Because it's the ultimate insult to a woman to not have a man to support her. Where would you be in life without a man? /sarcasm font