Pregnancy Check-in

KH826

How is pregnancy going for you/your SO/spouse? Any updates? Please remind us how far along you are and when your EDD is.

QOTW: How has being pregnant changed you and/or your better half? Has it changed the dynamic of your relationship at all?

Manada

A begrudging good morning to y'all, I'd prefer to be in bed sleeping at this moment. 

Rocky is making their presence known this morning in the form of feeling super queasy and not-well.   I cried on the way to work because I was feeling so sorry for myself... poor H. she just held my hand and tried to feed me pringles, which I refused.   So I'm at work now, not feeling 100% yet, and unable to focus on work - so the logical thing is to check TB right?

So we are 5w6d today.   Tomorrow's 6w mark feels significant to me, and we'll be going in for our u/s on Thursday with a hope of seeing a heartbeat and confirmation of Rocky's vitality.   Our EDD is Oct 28.  

QOTW:  We're still new in this game.  I think if it has changed anything it's that I have become a big baby and H. has become the champion of nutrition even moreso.  She does this wonderful thing where she puts snacks out for me beside the bed so that there's always something there when I wake up in the morning or after a nap.     

I'm also starting to understand the magic of partner IVF that @herbabymama talked about while she was pregnant with C.   It makes me feel super special, honoured and connected to my love to be entrusted to carry Rocky for us.  I think of Rocky as a little piece of her - which makes me pretty squishy about the whole thing (when I'm not bawling because I feel gross at least!). 

ball.and.chain

21w1d today. EDD 7/13/14.

I'm doing well. I FINALLY went to my first prenatal yoga class yesterday morning and I really liked it! Some of my muscles definitely feel a little sore today, which is a good thing -- they need to be strengthened. OB appointment last week went fine. It took a few minutes to find his hb on the doppler which freaked me out even though I knew that could happen, but it was there and healthy. I'm up 6 lbs since my first OB appointment which my OB is happy with. Everything looks fine and we scheduled my GTT for early April. Yippee.

QOTW: My wife gets super protective of me when I'm pregnant. Otherwise, I think our relationship has been affected more by our entire TTC/loss journey than by pregnancy itself.

KH826

@Manada - I am sorry you are feeling so crappy! I must say that I was laughing though at the thought of you crying on the way to work and @Healz holding your hand and trying to feed you pringles LOL. A lot of us have been there (myself included). I feel like a big baby a lot too. The nausea will hopefully get better in the coming weeks/months, but at least for now it is a reminder that Rocky is in there doing his/her thing! Feel better!

@KLeigh1 - congrats on finding out the sex and making progress on your nursery! You are almost half way there - woohoo!

@ball.and.chain - I am impressed and jealous of your limited weight gain. I know everyone is different, but I have definitely gained way more than that. You should be proud of yourself! Also, that's great about prenatal yoga. I still haven't gone b/c I am a slacker. At this point I think it is doubtful that I will. At any rate, I think it is awesome and I am glad that you are doing well!

2MamazInSeattle

@manada, oh geez...welcome to first tri fun. That said, I know how hard it is after IF to feel it's ok to be anything but overjoyed about your pregnancy; however, when you want to throw up on anything that moves, it's tough. Every time I said I felt bad, J would say "good!" since it reassured her (and me) that lil'mamaz was still going strong. However, at times I wanted to punch her for that response, b/c I felt so rotten. My only advice is to eat what you can stand to eat (baked potatoes became my friend), know this time will pass, and truly just take it one day at a time. ((hugs)).

AFM, today I'm 15w5d, EDD 8/20.

HOLY CRAP I'm 15w5 days!!! Past our loss milestone (thanks for all the luv everyone on my AW post) and feeling good all around. Physically I'm 100% back to normal-feeling after some hearty m/s in the first tri. My boobs are doing some wacky things and have these bouts of incredible pain, but it subsides. Belly is really hard and bouncy where my uterus is. Weight is good - gained 5 lbs after our trip to the south and that's holding steady (again, not sure that has anything to do with baby but rather everything to do with southern cuisine). We've had two different friends over for dinner this week, and have another planned tonight! It's so nice to have my community back!

On the Trisomy X front, I'm still ebbing and flowing with my emotions on that. I am going to try to get some genetic counseling appointments set up with some people who know their stuff. I feel like the GC at my MFM clinic told me what I could've read myself on the internet. I'm looking for some bigger guns. I am in a closed FB group which has been both helpful and terrifying; but J is giving me a virtual smack upside the head when I get too wrapped up in the negative.

Now that we're here, I am starting my full-court press pregnancy plan. I'll be honest, I'm not thrilled about it - I mean, I spent years in therapy to learn that it's ok not to be perfect... And now with lil'mamaz diagnosis, I feel like I have to be perfect for her. Which is a lot of pressure, and fear of failure, etc. to deal with. So - in thinking on it a lot this weekend - I'm going to just try to do my best rather than be perfect; but with that, I have goals now I might not have otherwise.

For example, I did get a new brand of fish oil my naturopath recommended and doubled the dose (DHA can raise IQ 7 pts!). I've also made some other changes - cosmetics, shampoo, lotions, perfumes - all new (or just stopped using) without the insane learning-disability-around-age-8 causing chemicals that most mainstream brands in the US contain. Limiting tap water (flouride) and I already used no-flouride toothpaste. Working on diet - my naturopath said "I'd rather you eat meat than grains - grains are super inflammatory; meat gives you the 80-100g of protein you have to get in for her brain." Nixing all grains overnight is NOT happening; but I've started limiting and reducing, and hopefully by around week 20 we'll be down to little-to-none. And getting in all that protein is hard, but I'm adding a stevia-sweetened protein shake daily with berries (good for placental blood flow) to my meal plan. Etc. Etc.

I did not want to be that psycho-pregnant person who was insane about all these details, but with baby girl's trisomy, I feel like I kind of have to lean in that direction - though I'm going to do so without making myself (and those around me) stressed and miserable.

Otherwise - I'm crapping my drawers a little in the "holy mother-of-god we have done NOTHING to get ready for her" arena. I need to make a list and start acting as if she is going to be born! Second-parent adoption, nursery, my youngest sister offered to host a baby shower, etc. But it's mostly stuff that can wait and/or doesn't need to be done this week. It does overwhelm me a wee bit. But kind of exciting too!!

QOTW: Honestly, I think we still feel pretty much like "us" - the fear of another loss weighed heavily on both of us and I think at the same time we have been able to be reassuring and supportive. We feel intimate and connected - despite the lack of physical connection (last time, we waited to have sex til after the first tri, and when I was feeling better - and then the baby died the next day - seriously) so we are kind of scared to DTD but we will, we realize it'd dumb to stay hung up on that. J was amazingly supportive, kind and flexible as I was a bit of a dud while in the midst of m/s. I love her for being so good to me!

pauljl

Today we are 5 weeks 1 day. Our EDD is November 2, 2014. 

I really can't complain about symptoms yet. My boobs hurt, I have some food aversions, and some cravings. No real nausea yet- just the realization that there are some things I just DON'T want to eat. Usually due to texture/smell. I want ALL the salt. Quintessential dill pickle eating pregnant lady here. 

Mostly I'm very grateful I have enough symptoms to "feel" pregnant and not so many that I feel miserable.  

QOTW: C and I are very close these days. She was off of work last week with me, and that was so lovely. We spent a lot of time dreaming for the new house (less than two weeks!), and our future. She's so supportive. I've noticed that she's very  much more in tune with my nutrition and what I'm eating these days (she wants to make sure I'm eating enough, it seems). At first I was mildly annoyed that she kept shoving food at me, but after talking with her realized that what I eat is one aspect of this pregnancy she feels she has some control in. That woke me up for sure. I want her to feel included- this is HER baby too.So, now I take a bite or two if I can and politely wrap the rest up and pop it in the fridge.  

Jazibel

Morning All!!

32 Weeks tomorrow (my ticker is wrong today which is weird), EDD 4/29/14.

32 weeks just feels so much closer to 40 to me - its a little unsettling. Last pregnancy I went out on early maternity leave per my midwife at 32 weeks. I was in an incredible amount of pain and discomfort and suffering sciatica.  I was crying while hobbling around and getting up and sitting down.  In comparison I feel good so far. Now that we have Kaden I don't really get a break, or an option not to lift, or carry, or run. In someways that has been helpful, I think its kept me healthier.  I did wake up last night to leg cramps several times.  The worst of which happened around 6am - it was so painful my crying out and moaning woke Elizabeth.  My right leg still feels achy and the muscles feel dense.  I'm not sure if this is tied to the new job I started this weekend.  I drive for a community of drivers/passengers in the SF Bay area.  Yesterday I worked 9am - 2pm in San Francisco and had a blast.  But it was so busy I took only 1 break and bathroom stop at 10:30am until I got back home at 3pm.  I limited my water intake too, to cut down on the need to find a bathroom in SF.  (A huge pain in the rear).  Anyway EV and I talked about it and I'm just going to have to learn more balance because I am 32 weeks pregnant after all.

We went to a baby consignment fair this weekend too and scored on a Lot of 20 cloth diapers and inserts. We also bought Kaden some wooden toys like a little tool box with nuts and bolts, and a set of blocks, along with a few receiving blankets which we need a stack of for the homebirth, etc. 

Other than that I'm trying to take my vitamins, and eat healthy and stay sane around that fact that Owen will be here so soon.

QOTD:  We're definitely closer through sharing our TTC, pregnancy and parenting journey. It's different then when it was just the two of us, and I will admit I miss that all encompassing love and affection which we poured out toward each other. But seeing EV and K together, just watching them play or interact makes my whole soul sing. I look forward to adding another layer of love by welcoming Owen in April. 
We've had to work out some relationship kinks (no not the sexy kind - lol - I wish) earlier in this pregnancy.  A lot of that was also wrapped up in the other transitions of moving, new job, etc.  I feel like we've talked and worked it out and are really on the same page now. We're both are in a slight amount of denial that we'll soon have two kids.  It's like getting on the crazy amusement park ride (roller coaster, free fall drop, etc) for a second time, and as the car is raised up the track you think to yourself. Oh snap - I'm doing this again. AHHHHHHHH.   We're in the wide eyed stage and it feels like we'll be here for the next 6 to 8 months. 

@Manada & Healz - hang in there.  I hope you feel better soonish (for me m/s lasted until about week 10-11).  I ate a lot of toast and butter or cheese.  But whatever you can get down.  It's no fun, even though you know its for the best of causes.  I'll be thinking non-queasy thoughts for you.

KH826

26w6d today - EDD is June 3rd.

I am having a tough day emotionally today... for no known reason... I debated not posting an update for myself at all to avoid being negative and annoying all of you lovely people. Most of my negativity is just focused on being down on myself -- feeling like I am not doing a good enough job when it comes to pregnancy. Reading other people's updates seem to be having a negative impact on me today for some reason - I am just comparing myself and noting all the things that I am not going well or should be doing differently. Anyway, I'm sorry for my bad attitude ...

In terms of updates, my 1 hour glucose test is this Thursday, and my next OB appointment is on 3/17.

I promise to have a better post next week...

trisholio

KH826 said:

26w6d today - EDD is June 3rd.

I am having a tough day emotionally today... for no known reason... I debated not posting an update for myself at all to avoid being negative and annoying all of you lovely people. Most of my negativity is just focused on being down on myself -- feeling like I am not doing a good enough job when it comes to pregnancy. Reading other people's updates seem to be having a negative impact on me today for some reason - I am just comparing myself and noting all the things that I am not going well or should be doing differently. Anyway, I'm sorry for my bad attitude ...

In terms of updates, my 1 hour glucose test is this Thursday, and my next OB appointment is on 3/17.

I promise to have a better post next week...

Try not to be so hard on yourself.  We all have our own journey's and experiences.  It is so easy to compare ourselves to other people, but that isn't fair to ourselves.  

I find myself being very crabby and negative recently and that makes me feel bad because we got pregnant on purpose, we became foster parents on purpose, I should be happy about these things.  And then I realize I AM happy about these things, but I am also very tired and doing a lot at once.  It is okay to be grouchy sometimes.  I don't have to be sunshine and roses all the time and neither do you.  Feel your feelings and try and give yourself a break :-)

trisholio

I will be 14 weeks tomorrow, my EDD is 9/2

It seems crazy to be 14 weeks, it seems like just yesterday we found out, yet it seems like the longest pregnancy ever!  haha

I think the exhaustion has gotten better, but the kiddos have decided to have crazy sleeping schedules so I am not getting much sleep.  So I am just tired in general these days.

We go this weekend to get a special ultra sound to find out the sex of our baby.  I am super excited!  My mom, sister and my wife's parents are all going with us.   My in laws live over 2 hours away so they are going to spend the night with us.  Haha, should be fun.  We live in a two bedroom apartment and there  are going to be 4 adults, 3 kids and 2 dogs in our house this weekend.  GOOD TIMES! Ugh!

QOTD:  I think pregnancy has improved our relationship in every way (except the sex part)  We are so much closer and connected then we thought we could be.  My wife has become such a good help even better than I expected and she rarely turns me down when I ask for a massage, foot rub or when I am in need of lotion anywhere on my body.  She also has taken over a lot of the cooking and cleaning so I can nap, she is pretty awesome like that :-)

KH826

Thanks @Trisholio. I am still very happy to be pregnant, and I am not feeling negatively about the pregnancy in general. I am just annoyed with myself for not doing certain things that I wanted to in order to be a better Momma-to-be (i.e. gaining too much weight, not exercising, not adopting a special diet, not cutting out certain beauty products, etc.). I just feel like I have become a lazy pregnant lady and I am mad that I worked so hard for this pregnancy and some times it feels like I am not "doing it right"... Anyway, this thread should NOT turn into the whiny KH show, so I am going to stop indulging my need to communicate my feelings. I just didn't want anyone to think I meant that I was not happy to be pregnant, because that is absolutely not the case. I just feel like I am letting myself and baby down a bit since I am not being "super pregnant lady," for lack of a better label...

redrockmama

Happy Monday all!

I'm 21w3d EDD July 11th

We spent the weekend in J's hometown visiting her family. We thought it would be nice to stay at her brothers house and not have to worry about being uncomfortable at her parents. They are not at all supportive of our relationship. We didn't think her brother would be there as he is getting back together with his wife after a pretty long separation. Turns out he, his wife and their two kids stayed there so we had to sleep on an air mattress. UGH. I probably slept about 3 hours and am still exhausted after getting home late last night. It was great to see her family though. They have come a long way in the last 5 years. The kids (9 and 5) asked about the baby and were excited that we are both going to be moms. J's niece even gave me a hug when we left for the first time in 5 years. 

Everything else is just chugging along. Bubbles moves a lot these days and seems to have a pretty regular schedule of when it's awake and active. J can feel, and you can see, most of the movements. Our crib arrived so we have to go pick it up today. yay, one more thing off the list! I'm working on sketching out the mural for the baby room this week. 

QOTW: It hasn't changed our relationship much at all really except that J loves me more and more every day and thinks I'm the most adorable and wonderful pregnant woman in the world. We're just so excited about the baby and being parents and a family together. 

healz413

As @Manada reported, we're 5 weeks and 6 days pregnant. Our EDD is October 28, 2014. We have our first ultrasound scheduled for this Thursday morning.

I'm all over the place. I go from being giddy and excited to being super anxious that we're not going to get to keep being pregnant. Poor M has to deal with being exhausted and not feeling well and I don't. Hopefully that will all balance out if we get to keep the pregnancy because I hope that eventually she will be at a point where she can enjoy being pregnant (as opposed to enjoying the fact that we are pregnant but not enjoying the physical experience of being pregnant).

This morning she asked me, "How can one little Rocky have such a big effect on how I feel?" I replied, "When was the last time you grew a heart?"

It's pretty fascinating to think about all the things going with Rocky this week--it's a pretty big week developmentally. Of course, I keep reminding myself that we're just hoping that these things are going on with Rocky, but we don't actually know. I really, really, really hope the ultrasound goes well Thursday.

I found out yesterday morning that my PhD supervisor, whom I adore, has accepted a position at a university in San Francisco! I'm trying to contain my panic around what this will mean for the completion of my dissertation/PhD.

QOTW: We're new in the pregnancy world so I don't think it's changed our relationship yet. Infertility and the trauma from that still seem to be the dominating factors in our lives and in how our relationship has changed over the last year and a half.

Jazibel

@healz413 - love your saying from this morning. "When was the last time you grew a heart". Somehow to me that summarizes so much of the experience of being pregnant and how much our bodies, our families and lives are growing.  Ok I'm getting sappy!!

@KH826 - I totally understand how you feel, blame pregnancy hormones, or the fact that in a few short months you'll be meeting you daughter face to face. It's all sooooo much. This growing a family business. I agree with PP, feel free to feel however you feel.  The end of the second trimester was hard for me emotionally too and I had several huge mood swings, that sometimes didn't "match" with how I felt I should be feeling.  But I have to add that I've followed your journey and I think you're doing an awesome job being pregnant an preparing for your baby. 
I hope this didn't come across as a lecture. Just wishing you a good day! 

@Flygirl1228 - I think we're both in the SF Bay area?  Feel free to PM if you or Ally need anything.  I'm free most days and Kaden and I can swing by :-)

shelly2314

Pregnancy is going well. We are 9w3d today. I have just started feeling better with nausea and then I go and watch M play in a softball tourney. Would have been great but I got sun poisoning on my forearms.  That is awesome. Feel great now---total sarcasm.  Lots of rest and Gatorade

QOTW: How has being pregnant changed you and/or your better half? Has it changed the dynamic of your relationship at all?

It has made me an emotional wreck...not usually like that at all. It has made M become a complete caretaker.  She has always been that, just had to take on more as I feel like poop more often than not