Child support or not

YTLCNURSE

I haven't intro'd to this board so I'll tell a little about myself. I am 28 weeks pregnant with child number 2. BD of this child broke up with me at 20 weeks. I had a hard time dealing with it but as time goes on I am adjusting and getting over it. I have a 14 year old daughter from a previous relationship. He keeps in contact with me on a daily basis checking on me and LO to see how we are doing via text messages (no phone calls, just text messages). He has a 7 year old from a previous relationship that he is an excellent father to. He does not pay child support through the court system, but he does contribute financially and he is very involved with his daughter. I think it was the mother's choice to not file for child support because of how involved he is with his daughter and they also were engaged at one point but broke off the engagement. Throughout my pregnancy he has not been very supportive and only went to 2 appts. He has also been unreliable throughout our relationship and throught this pregnancy. I am debating if I should file for child support once the baby is born. I am worried that he will not be as involved with LO as he is with his daughter because we do live in different cities, like an hour drive each way. He did say that he will get whatever the baby needs, but I have not been able to depend on his word whatsoever (throughout our relationship and throughout this pregnancy). Should I just file for child support for peace of mind once the baby is born or wait around to see if he is going to be a part of our child's life?  If I do decided to file for child support should I wait and mention it to him after the birth of our child or before LO arrives? TIA for your input!

20thirteen

If you need the support, I think you should file for CS. I didn't, and I don't have BD named on the BC. I knew he was not dependable and, even though I do need some support, I decided against it because his income is through selling drugs or working part time under the table. So filing for CS would only open up visitation and I don't want him having that since he's barely around anyway. Like, I haven't heard from him since he gave DD her Christmas gift. In January. Anyway, if your BD doesn't appear to be reliable to help out on his own, without the court forcing him to, you should file.

jesuisfatiguee

I would say file regardless, but let him know your intentions ahead of time. Many states don't recognize informal support, so while you are most likely not a vindictive person, this would legally protect him, too. Like PP said, CS opens the door to custody/visitation arrangements, so keep that in mind. It sounds like he is a decent person (maybe a bit flakey), though, so that may not be a bad thing. 

There is nothing wrong with making sure both your child's parents are financially supporting him/her.

tig594

Yes! Yes! Yes! As i have said before, even if you don't need it your child deserves it and is entitled to it. If you don't need it put it in a bank account for your baby for future trips to disney, their first car, college, whatever. Don't worry about telling him. He should expect it's coming if he has half a brain and if you tell him it gives him the opportunity to sweet talk you out of filing. F that! He made a baby. He should pay for it too. As for visitation, he deserves the chance to see his kid. If he blows it that's his problem. At least you can tell your LO you tried. I'd get the ball rolling ASAP as it takes months to get a support order in place.

YTLCNURSE

Thank you ladies for your responses! I truly appreciate it.