Pregnant after 35
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Do I change OB?

So being new to all this pregnancy stuff in the USA it's interesting to see I can change my OB if I want to. Whilst my current OB is very sweet she's a bit scatty and rushed when I see her. She's new to the practice and very young - I swear I'm old enough to be her mother! When we have a monthly visit, she hasn't looked at my notes, asks me the same questions every visit (because she hasn't looked at my notes where the answers are) and that kinda irritates me a little. On my visit two weeks ago, she said I needed to do another urine test as the last one wasn't quite right. Now, I KNOW the test she is talking about was done at the beginning of November as I saw it on the notes in December and I have seen her twice since then without her mentioning it, but this is the first time she wanted to repeat it?   There is another OB in the practice who is 45 and has just had her fourth baby so I'm inclined to ask to be moved to her, but I'm feeling a little guilty about dumping the current OB. In the UK, where I'm from (and where my other two kids were born) we have no choice on the OB, in fact you don't actually see one unless there is an issue - everything is dealt with by a Midwife so the whole 'choice' deal is new to me. It's great to have a choice but I'm feeling bad about even considering it! 

What would you do?
Master of 'the look' 

Re: Do I change OB?

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    You absolutely should change if you're not satisfied or comfortable with your care.  

    I will offer that my OB is very rushed too and I think that's just the nature of their job.  I used to get irritated that she was always late and I was left waiting for so long, but then I had my first missed miscarriage diagnosis and it made me realize how unpredictable her day is.   What should have been a quick check up and ultrasound turned in to a long appointment comforting us, explaining the diagnosis and our options, scheduling the D&C, etc.   So now I have more patience when she is late because who knows what else she has juggled that day.  

    I hope you find a provider you are happy with though - it really is important.


    Me-41, Hubby-40.
    1st BFP-8/17/12!  Missed Miscarriage discovered @ 8 week US.  D&C.
    2nd BFP-2/13/13!  Blighted Ovum discovered @ 8 week US. Natural miscarriage.
    3rd BFP-5/22/13!  By early June, progesterone plummeting.  Another loss.
    August 2013 - started Donor Egg process, but surprise BFP with my own eggs.
    Dear Son born 5/28/14
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    Definitely switch providers if you think you'll be more comfortable. If you want a more personal experience, you might also consider a midwife practice. Mine spend a full hour with me at every visit and are very thorough.
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    Very true, she may be rushed for a really good reason but I sort of get the feeling that's just how she is as it goes hand-in-hand with the scatty, disorganized way she has about her. If she were an uncaring witch then I'd have no problem ditching her and moving on but she's sooooo sweet and little! I think my concern is that she is missing something or has missed something already (which she did with the urine test) or isn't experienced enough to spot something and that makes me just a little bit nervous. Is it bad form to change to another OB at the same practice though?

    I haven't even heard of a Midwife practice! What's that all about? Sounds very interesting.
    Master of 'the look' 
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    Switch! I've learned to get over the guilt of asking for someone different n the same practice. You have to be comfortable- it's your health and your baby's! I am in a practice that has both ob's and midwives. You usually see the midwives and are delivered by the midwives unless you are high risk. However, I had my first appt yesterday and they set my next appt. with one of the ob's...maybe because they talk about genetic testing at that appt. will be interested to hear how it goes. How far along are you again?
    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
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    I agree - switch.  Maybe to an entirely different practice, if that is an option (by insurance and also how many practices there are in your area) ...  I'm a conflict-avoider and it sounds like you're worried about hurting the feelings of your current young doc. and in that situation my conflict-avoiding strategy would be to just "disappear" rather than to switch to someone else in the same practice.  But maybe you are more grown-up. :)

    I'm also going to a practice that is almost all midwives and really really like the care I'm getting there, and how they describe that their involvement at birth time will be (like, one of them will actually be there).  The ones in this practice are all Certified Nurse-Midwives and deliver in the hospital. Personally, I hope to not have an epidural or other really medical interventions but seeing a midwife does not remove those options - they are still available.  They said even if their patient ends up needing to have a c-section they stay with them and are the first assistant on that procedure.   There is also an OB in the practice for if things come up for which you really need one.  They also coordinate with a MFM practice (for 20-week ultrasounds and later growth scans, etc.).   I think that practices like this are pretty widespread, though am not 100% sure.  I live in a pretty rural area, though, and we have this option!

    Even if you prefer an OB, though, you should definitely be able to find/see one who gives you more confidence that she or he is on top of things even if the appointments are somewhat rushed because of their scheduling.  
    Me: 39  DH: 44  together since 2000 married 9/2004 TTC #1 since 2/2012
    BFP #1 6/5/2012  m/c 6/15/2012 about 5w3d   BFP #2 6/?/2013 m/c 7/1/2013 5w 3d
    BFP #3 8/25/2013  EDD 5/7/2014    DD A. born 5/8/2014!!  Love!!!!
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    I'm 20-ish weeks right now. I say 'ish' as they told my husband today that they brought the due date forward a week to 13th July. He called to get the blood results for tests I had two weeks ago and can't remember what they were for. Ooops. Anyway they didn't have those but the OB hasn't called, as she promised, to give us the AS results so the lady he spoke to did .... sigh. 

    I saw the midwife there a few months ago when I had some light bleeding - she was AMAZING and I totally fell in love with her. She was everything you expect a midwife to be... happy, reassuring and oozing experience. I would love her to be in charge of me, but I don't think that's how they operate there. I think I will look for a midwife practice around here and investigate that option. Or maybe I'll get my husband to call them and change me to the other OB who was also lovely when I had the bleeding episode. They can't understand my accent very well so I get him to call... perfect excuse to lessen my guilt.
    Master of 'the look' 
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    I'm pretty conflict-averse when it comes to doctors. When I was pregnant with my first, I tried FOUR different practices (two midwife, one OB, and then finally landed on my OB) before I found the right fit. I figured I was going to spend a lot of time with this person, and they were always going to be part of my memory, so I wanted it to be someone I liked and trusted. I would ask if the midwife in your current practice can be your primary provider. Or the other OB since you liked them both. But I wouldn't stick with the bad fit. (Btw, my problem with both midwife practices is that they seemed flighty and flakey and not nearly as interested in and concerned with my pregnancy as I thought appropriate. Which is why I would stick with what you know!)
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