Intro and a Question

MoreThanSparrows08

Hi Ladies! I hope you are all doing well on this Friday!

I have been posting on TTCAL for the past couple months, but I feel like this board may be a better fit for me.

I'm 27, DH is 28.  We have two beautiful boys at home - ages 7 and 5.  We started TTC #3 in August of 2013.  BFP the day before Thanksgiving, and m/c twins naturally on 12/10/13.  We are currently on the bench medically through next cycle, but we've got a lot of changes coming our way soon, so we're going to be taking it month-by-month to see where the chips fall in the next few months.  

My question for you lovely ladies is this:  TTCAL is a great board - full of awesomely supportive ladies with a wide range of experience.  There are a number of us on that board that already have children, and we realize it is painful for many of the ladies there to hear us talking about our children, so we put up warnings and try to avoid talking about our children in order to not hurt anyone.  It has been suggested that PAL may be a better place for us, so I'm here to ask if there is already a TTCAL check-in for ladies with living children.  If there already is one, I would be so appreciative if someone could point me to it.  If there is not one, I would be interested in starting one, and would like permission to do so. We have a PM check-in, but the format is a bit hard to follow sometimes. 

I truly look forward to getting to know you ladies and your lovely babies/children.  

MJM3108

Hi and welcome! I am pretty sure there is a TTCAL PAL check in going on right now, and I think @mkc5869 is the momma running it. 

It can be tough posting in TTCAL and also PgAL when you have littles (be they pre-loss or rainbows) and a lot of the mommas here who are either TTCAL or PgAL now pretty much hang here. 

I am sorry for your loss, but welcome to our little family! Hope to "see" you around!

ProfessorPedals825

I'm so sorry for your loss.  You're more than welcome to hang here.  I'm one of the few not trying again yet but still figuring out this parenting thing.  And when we do decide to try again, I'll probably stick around here too.

4legsRbest

mrsjessicamitchell said:

Hi and welcome! I am pretty sure there is a TTCAL PAL check in going on right now, and I think @mkc5869 is the momma running it. 

It can be tough posting in TTCAL and also PgAL when you have littles (be they pre-loss or rainbows) and a lot of the mommas here who are either TTCAL or PgAL now pretty much hang here. 

I am sorry for your loss, but welcome to our little family! Hope to "see" you around!

All of this - I am so sorry for your loss. You are more than welcome here! I love this board but compared to PgAL and TTCAL, it can be a bit slow. Feel free to join us - the more the merrier! And you don't have to limit your TTCAL questions/comments/stories to just the check-in.

However, I think it is very kind of you to have apathy you do for the women on TTCAL who are trying for their 1st take home baby. I was there and I vividly remember the amount of pain I felt. But I will say that I don't agree that those with LOs should be "asked/told - or "suggested" as you put it - to go elsewhere. Maybe it didn't happen like that, but it rubs me a little wrong, truth be told.

martinimomma

You are most certainly welcome here.  I hope that you did not feel unwelcome on the other loss boards - navigating emotions can be tough I know.  Feel free to post at will - we are not the most active board on TB but we are generally awesome (ha ha).

Missa_g

I am so sorry for your loss. A TTCAL check in would be great over here in my opinion.

pkaren

Welcome! I agree with PPs and you're most certainly welcome here. most of us here have been regulars on TTCAL at one point or another so we totally understand the emotions and how raw it can be on that board. It's also a very fast paced, close knit and fiercely protective board. Even throughout my time on TTCAL the rules and etiquette were constantly evolving.

We talk about TTC here as well as our LOs so I hope you feel welcome here.

Mom2anAngel2

Welcome!  I am very sorry for your loss.  As all of the ladies have mentioned above, this is a very easy going board and all are welcome. 

KJsbabe

Welcome! I'm so sorry for the loss of your twins. As the other ladies have said, you're more than welcome to hang out here. I hope you get your sticky baby soon!

I'd totally be in for a TTC check-in here.

KJsbabe

wickedsugar said:

Hi Ladies ! 

Just as an FYI, this is the thread the OP is talking about, where she didn't seem to concerned with the feelings of TTCAL..

 https://forums.thebump.com/discussion/12271622/husband-so-thread-mentioning-children-allowed#latest

Ok so, I read the thread... The whole entire thread. I don't believe the OP had malicious intent to hurt the TTCAL ladies. She made a mistake and apologized. Then Petra cleared everything up nicely, as she always does. 

I can see both sides of the argument. I was once the TTCAL lady who would have sold her soul to the devil for a healthy take home baby. But now that I do have my rainbow, I can see how there is no real place for the "inbetweeners" (those who have living children, have had a recent loss, and don't want to see pics and tickers). 

Missa_g

I agree with @KJsbabe. Having a loss on both sides of my rainbows I can understand both sides. I vividly remember the desperate desire for a baby and the horrible unknown of if I would ever have one when I was first on TTCAL. I know a post like that would have stung then. Now I understand. A loss after a child still hurts so so badly and the unknown is awful. But my boys are so much a part of who I am now and all my hopes for the future involve them. I have very little child-free comments to add and I worry my siggy, even with minimal info, might hurt someone. I have had luck in the midst of all the crap and because of that there isn't a board that can truly be "home" any more. I sympathize with others in the same plight.

Mom2anAngel2

Missa_g said:

I agree with @KJsbabe. Having a loss on both sides of my rainbows I can understand both sides. I vividly remember the desperate desire for a baby and the horrible unknown of if I would ever have one when I was first on TTCAL. I know a post like that would have stung then. Now I understand. A loss after a child still hurts so so badly and the unknown is awful. But my boys are so much a part of who I am now and all my hopes for the future involve them. I have very little child-free comments to add and I worry my siggy, even with minimal info, might hurt someone. I have had luck in the midst of all the crap and because of that there isn't a board that can truly be "home" any more. I sympathize with others in the same plight.

I agree with all of this.  I have actually stepped back a bit from the bump since my last loss because despite having a beautiful rainbow, it has been very difficult dealing with TTCAL again.  I understand both sides, but have refrained from going back to TTCAL because DS has become so much of my life and part of our TTCAL journey. 

JuddandJessica

Welcome! PAL is a great board!

Mmm79

Welcome.  I am so sorry for your loss. A lot of ladies have said it better than me (especially martinimama- yes, we really ARE awesome over here), but I have found this community to be a great support in my first year of motherhood.