Baby at a funeral advice

88sharonlee

Hi
I'm going to be attending my husbands grandfathers wake and then funeral tomorrow and Saturday.

My LO is just 3 months and I'm just looking for any advice or suggestions or ettiquite that I may not be thinking of to help everything go smoothly.

A little info , she's usually pretty good in 'social' events, doesn't like a pacifier but loves to suck on her hands and is very vocal latetly.

Thanks.
And lastly, do you think babies need to wear black?

LittleNugget93

I just went to a memorial this weekend with my daughter. I wore my daughter in a mei tai the whole time. It would have gone horribly if I didn't wear her. haha

Chichigo

I took LO to a wake and he was fine. We skipped the funeral because of extreme cold. My cousin took an infant to the church service and I took him home while she went to the burial (different funeral, also in winter).

88sharonlee

Thanks for the advice.

I don't think I can wear her, sometimes she's ok with it , other times she just screams so I'm hoping she either stays asleep in the car seat or is happy being held.

I think worse case for the actual funeral I might just hang out with her in the car, heat on, so my husband can participate and we can stay warm and won't disturb anyone!

Mrbatesisinnocent

I'd recommend baby wearing. Just be prepared to step out if necessary.

oakley325

I took my 3 month LO to a viewing and burial a few weeks ago, she slept for part of it then pooped loudly and started fussing. I had to leave to change her then return. No one cared, the joy she brought to everyone far outweighed any etiquette violations and the family who heard her toot thought it was funny! I planned to stick up for her and attribute any crying to the fact that she was sad at losing her loved one but I had no plan for the tooting!! As an FYI she wore a red outfit with black hearts from Valentines Day. I say plan for her to bring joy to everyone and dress her in something cute!!

savannahd87

I just dealt with the exact same situation. My husband's grandfather passed last week. We took our three month old to the funeral and gathering/dinner afterwards. Everyone was very happy to see her there. We sat in the front with his family, I sat at the end of the pew for a quick exit if she started to fuss. She was so fascinated by the new sights and music that she didn't make a peep. We did a private burial with just immediate family and I breastfed Lo in the car with the heat on since it was so cold. We also had a bottle of breast milk on standby just in case she got super hungry while we were on the road. Everyone understood that we didn't want her in the cold and she needed to eat. I dressed her in one of her more "fancy" outfits (a purple dress with purple pants and a matching hairbow) but I don't think it really matters what they wear, people just love to see a cute baby, especially during a sadder time. She slept in her car seat during most of the dinner and began fussing a while later and people were totally understanding with us leaving a little early. I was so stressed about taking her but it all worked out.

88sharonlee

Thank you all for the advice and stories- they are encouraging.

We attended the wake yesterday and while LO did great most of the time she naturally had a few fussy moments- we were there for over three hours!
While most people loved to see her smiling and adorable, unfortunately his aunt made us feel uncomfortable, we sadly had to keep on our toes whenever she fussed so as not to piss her off that we brought her.

it was really frustrating especially since his grandmother got so much joy out of seeing her great granddaughter at a time when she was feeling so much sadness.

We were going to have me stay home with LO today to avoid any comments from his aunt but decided not to let her dictate what we do- we are his family and we want to be there. I'm thinking the service will be short and I will also stay in the car with her during the graveside since it's so cold- and the lunch after I say she gets to be a baby and if that means crying then oh well, that's life- it's just sad that his aunt makes us all on edge.

Ok thanks for reading! Turned into a vent I realize.