How many kids do you want, and why?

fxz109

I always thought we'd have 2, maybe 3.  But if they are at least 2 years apart, I'd be 36 by the time we had #3, and we had always talked about having all our kids before we're 35.  But lately DH has possibly talked about #3.  Of course, if I'm 36 when #3 arrives, he'll still be only 35!

DH has a brother, and I have two sisters, so we're used to having siblings.  And now, as I get older and I see what my one really good friend is going through as an only child with aging parents, part of me feels that I'm doing my kids a favor by having 2 or 3 to lessen the "burden" that DH and I will be as we get older.  And with my mom having been terminally ill, I know it really helped and still helps to have that family support system. 

Of course, I know there is no guarantee just because I get along with my sisters that my kids will get along with each other or even care about me - DH's brother has been MIA for about 2 years now, so DH might as well be an only child at this point...

summerbridesara

We always said 2, but now we're not so sure we want 2.

DH and I had a very hard time adjusting to a new baby and we fought a LOT.  It's getting better, but it's been a rough past 5 months.  We love Sophia to death and would love to try for a boy (I'd love 2 girls too!), but right now, we're just focusing on Sophia and each other. When she turns 1, we'll discuss it again.  I want to be done having kids by 35 too, so if we are having another one, it needs to be by 2011.

I have a brother and a sister, but DH was basically an only child.  He has a much older step-brother and step-sister.  He didn't grow up with them though.  I think having a sibling is important, but we'll see how things go.

rlthomas7

We're one and done. We only ever wanted one (I'm an only and I had a good experience and DH is the youngest - by far - of four, so he was practically an only). We also agree that we'd have to get a different home for two and we like that I only work part-time to afford one, one college education, etc.

In addition, I had a pretty serious complication with my pregnancy that would likely happen again.

If we ever changed our minds down the road and had a burning desire for another child, we'd adopt an older child.

Mrs.McJeep

well I'm mixed.

I responded to Sara's post below that I would like to try for another but it's tough.

 If we have another there are chances of multiples as we would have to go through fertility treatments again.

And I wouldn't want the boys to feel they missed out on anything because we had 2 or more (ahh) to take care of.

I'm just not sure, I would love to try for a girl, yes I know I have no control, but at least try.  

But I love the boys so much, I'm not sure I want to have more.

ntnylizard

DH has always said he'd like three or four, but two is the limit for me.  Assuming things go well with baby #1, we'd probably start talking about a second when the first is somewhere between one and three.

Why the limit of two for me?  Because I think that's the max we could responsibly support financially (we want to provide college educations at no cost to the kids, like our parents' did), and I have a bug in the back of my head about overpopulation.  We may even consider adoption for the second child, again, all depending on how the rest of this pregnancy/birth/initial childrearing process goes.

nj67ws56qa21

I'd like 3, Dh wants 2.  I grew up with just an older brother and always felt things were kind of quiet in our house.  We had nothing in common so it wasn't like we played together very much.  My mom had 9 brothers and sisters, and I had tons of cousins, so I always enjoyed the chaos of big families at holidays and other get togethers.  Plus, I like the thought of my children having each other after me and my Dh are long gone. 

jamie16

I've always wanted 2 (1 of each). DH has always wanted 1. Right now, I'm content with just Andrew. I'm not so sure I could handle 2 little ones right now! Once in awhile I bring up the possibility of having a little girl, and DH just smiles at me. I haven't been able to tell if that's a good smile or not, though! If we decide to have another, I'd want it to be before Andrew turned 5, so it would need to happen within the next 2 years. I guess only time will tell what's in store for us...

holly9599

I would love to have 3.  I have always wanted an odd number of kids.  I grew up with just one sister, and I felt that even numbers weren't good.  Ideally I would have liked to have my kids about 18 months apart, but that just wasn't in the cards for me.  I don't want children after I'm 35, so who knows if I will have 2 more in the next 3-1/2 years.  I'm certain we'll have another baby, but whether we have a third one, I don't know.  DH is on board with 3 babies, so at least we agree.

Futuremrssoll

We would like to have 3-4 kids! ?I think that if we have a girl next then we may go for one more, but who knows. ?I have 2 sisters, and my husband has 4 sisters. ?We loved having so many siblings. ?I also love babies and I really want more to love! ?we will soon be trying for number 2. ?though, i can't imagine loving another as much as i love Eli. ?

MyTTCAlterEgo

We want one becausewe still want to be able to do other things that we enjoy doing (vacationing here and there and keeping our Cowboys season tickets).  I also enjoy my job and if I paid daycare for 2, I'd easily probably be in the negative.  I also have two nephews who help get each other in trouble and my sister has no time for herself a lot of times because she's running one of them to different activities.

We've said if this first one goes well we'll consider another (either adopt or have another) but I just don't know.

As for having them to grow up with, we have friends around and it seems like our neighborhood (even just in two of the other four houses that recently closed as well) have small kids too. 

LClaire

we'd like 3 or 4, but we're probably going to wait until after this new baby is a few years older(maybe 3-5?) and then consider fostering, fostering to adopt or just adopting.

sunriz

At least 2, no more than 4.  It would all depend on my next pregnancy, if I would have another preterm birth...I think we would be done.  Why...I don't know..I just know I want more than one, but more than 4 seems like too much.  I hope to have them close together...I am not getting any younger!

Me&Mr.T

Right now I'd like to get to 1... but my goal is 3. I've always wanted 3 because I always wanted more than one sibling, and DH has 2 brothers. I just think that it is a good number to have. I'm not 100% sure on that though. We will see after 1.

Megan.10.06

We always said 2, but recently, we are starting to think one. 

Honestly, we will decide when we find out how pregnancy goes outside of the first trimester.  It took us a year to get pregnant only to find out I don't tolerate it well at ALL.  It could be just first tri stuff, who knows, so we are on a wait and see holding pattern right now LOL. 

He already has one (my SS is 18) so we already have that burden-sharing thought covered, but I grew up with 5 siblings, I can't imagine my child growing up without a sibling as well.