Another (yes) would you be upset daycare question?

mightmom13

So as I posted in brags - DD has been asking to go to the bathroom on her own more often (I stopped asking awhile ago) at home so I have been letting her lead - even when it ends up in "hey mommy look" and there is pee by, but not in her potty. 

Per the above, I wrote a note to daycare asking them to start asking her if she wants to go to the bathroom/potty to her teachers this morning. When I get DD from my folks (after I had called them with the update from the past couple days) I find out via a note that they have been doing this for a couple weeks now and per my dad they said she has asked to go - the same kid who just the other week had "big" sentences of "no that's mine" "my toy" and "all done." She says SO much more with me and her therapists. Also, today is the first day they write if/when/what she went/tried via potty. 

So you were going to potty train my kid and have "been working on it" for 2 weeks and say nothing to either the parent or grandparents - not even in mention??!! Or ask if she does this at home when she did start asking, which I am finding hard to believe? I also per thinking, think the only reason they called on the hand was per the speech therapist showing up at the time it was noticed and her refusing to leave DD after they said "no it's fine, you can stay here." 

I used to be called at work for every little thing - now nothing, I think it's the new teacher. She will be switching but I have no interim in the mean time. Part of me wants to take the tax return and get a job at a local retail store or Starbucks until I find an adequate replacement - but I need my flex schedule/FMLA for DD's therapies and evals/IEP coming up. Thanks for listening - am I off base on the potty training thing and not asking or even telling the parent? 

funchicken

I'm a little confused about why you're upset about the potty thing. My younger DD goes to daycare a few times a month (they have drop in hours), and they take the two year olds to the bathroom in small groups as part of their daily routine. Some of them use the potty, some don't, but it helps get them interested. I don't remember if they mentioned that they do it when they moved her to that room, but I was happy to hear they did. Are you just unhappy with the level of communication that you're getting from the teacher?

mightmom13

mrszee2b said:

I'm a little confused about why you're upset about the potty thing. My younger DD goes to daycare a few times a month (they have drop in hours), and they take the two year olds to the bathroom in small groups as part of their daily routine. 

Some of the kids had potty charts up in the room and I know they have a potty, but DD didn't have a potty chart nor did I think she was ready when I first saw some of them. When I did ask the daycare director about how they handled potty training - she said just let them know when I was ready and they would train however I wanted.

Some of them use the potty, some don't, but it helps get them interested. I don't remember if they mentioned that they do it when they moved her to that room, but I was happy to hear they did. Are you just unhappy with the level of communication that you're getting from the teacher?

Yes, I am unhappy with the communication part - not that they were taking her but that I was not aware - I was still getting wet/BM diaper reports and not potty reports; nor was I told it was part of the curriculum when I asked specifically earlier.  They are aware DD is an only child so I do not know what daycare rooms entail in general, let alone how they operate so I assumed I would be told about things like "hey, your kid is using/will be introduced to the potty at this point in time" not a couple weeks after the fact when I brought it up in asking form. 

mightmom13

-auntie- said:

You're entitled to feel what you feel, but this isn't something that would necessarily bother me.

What @mrszee2b said. 

In most day care situations, potty training is sort of a part of the curriculum just as handwashing and sharing are. It's sort of assumed that when a kid hits a certain age or group s/he will be included in the regularly scheduled group potty breaks just as they will be included in the handwashing ritual ahead of snack. I don't recall children being asked if they need to go unless it's a situation where a child is grabbing their genitals and doing a dance.

Like the above reply, I asked and was told "let us know when you want her to start PT and how you want us to do it - like you do it at home, etc." So that is where the assumption of we just do this at this age bothers me a bit since it is not a room move up requirement like pre-school. It is a daycare. 

Normally this kind of information is communicated to parents either via a newsletter format email as in "our class is working on pottying" or a casual update at drop/off pickup as time allows. It could be your schedule is precluding some of this and that they don't generally "share" with grandparents who provide transportation. I used to collect my nieces from day care at least weekly, they never shared information with me- they treated it almost like a violation of confidentiality.

They have called before and I do think it should be communicated - I was in the school two weeks ago, see the teachers, and like I mentioned in OP was called to be informed on many things or written notes (as I write notes or call as needed to give DD info) before and that has now stopped. They do not tell my folks as much as the previous teachers, however, they do leave any paperwork in her backpack and inform them that it is there for me to read. So again, the lack of communication on something like potty training when I was told differently is my ants in the pants here and the fact that they waited until I said something to tell me she had been doing PT at school. They have a regular kid sized toilet there and for the past few weeks DD has refused to go on our big potty or her grandparents big potty - this may be the reason and NOW I know but had I said nothing I would not. With DD, transition is important as is the knowledge of it. 

It sounds almost like you are looking for reasons not to like the day care or not to continue with your job. 

The daycare yes I want to switch when the pre-school situation is figured out, not looking for an out but with the changes in care and communication DD and I are receiving there for what I pay - I think a better fit is needed for her and myself. Yes I am tempted to quit, but I know I can't being the only provider, my job is not the best right now so looking for a change there yes but not using daycare as a real excuse - just saying some days I do not see the point in working so hard to pay for daycare environment that has turned so lax in the last 2 months and I do not feel my child is cared for properly with her needs. 

mightmom13

Thanks for the replies and info that this is how most providers work on the PT issue. Per last week's incident, or rather the severity of it, I was/am extra sensitive to another what (IMO) is a rather big step (yes all kids eventually PT, but I assumed that was my responsibility to start and give them the heads up) being done without a simple, hey btw heads up from the provider as the kids in her class range from just under 2-3 years of age - kind of broad. 

She is about to move up and I hope things improve before I fingers crossed find a pre-school that has the before/after care I can manage all in one place. Her current daycare has no pre-school. 

meldoo2002

I don't think this is one of those things I'd necessarily be expected to be told.  I'd be expected to be told if she was having issues with her peers, if she got hurt or hurt someone else, if she wasn't acting like herself.  Taking a child that's appropriate age to the bathroom to try to go potty… not something I would expect would need a note.  I would just think it's part of the day.