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joan0303
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daycare concerns
joan0303
member
My 5 month old has been going to daycare for 2 months now (average 2-3 days per week) the daycare lady is in a small town and very nice. EVERY time I go to pick my son up (anywhere from 3:30pm to 5:30pm) always a random pick up time so she never knows when im coming for sure.... but when I get there he is ALWAYS sitting in his car seat.... I'm worried she lets him sit in there all day.... I just find out weird he is ALWAYS in there when I go get him. I know it's convenient so he can sit in there and watch all the other kids run around but I'd much rather have him laying down kicking his legs or doing tummy time. He has not mastered sitting on his own yet. Why am I to afraid to say anything? I've asked her how he does with tummy time and suggested he likes to lay on his back and kick his legs but I never did address the car seat issue. She does say they do tummy time but does anyone else find it weird he is ALWAYS in the car seat? Maybe it's not that bad to use it as a chair for him.... Maybe I'm over reacting. . Need advice on how you would approach this issue!
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Re: daycare concerns
I had no choice with my daughter as that became her routine for naptime. She would rock in the seat n then we would lay her in her crib. She wanted to be alone but rocked. Silly girl!
Developmentally how is your child doing? I would hate to jump to conclusions but you have a very solid reason for concern.
Are you close enough to stop by on a lunch break? Maybe to drop off the check owed for the week, you can't find your ring n think you left it in the diaper bag when changing your little one. (those were my excuses to pop in)
Also, sounds silly but without her knowing could you ask the other kids about their day. Example: What did you guys do today? Pretty soon __ will be crawling and chasing you! So when he/she is on the floor playing maybe you can teach him/her. (Nice thing about kids is they are generally honest n blunt) They may say but she's/he's always sitting in the seat or they may confirm that your child does indeed do tummy time.
I talk to the other kids all the time. And greet other parents. Give your provider a task, like help with changing kidos outfit (pretend you are going somewhere nice, you can change it back when you get home). While shes doing that you rearrange the diaper bag and kneel down and simply ask another kid bluntly is ___ in their carseat a lot? Get your answer and quickly change topics to a child focused topic. This way if the provider asks what you asked the kid will say "she said she liked my red shoes and said the baby likes red too as their favorite toy at home is Elmo".
Once you have your answer decide where to go from there.
If its apparent its happening all the time. I would line up new daycare first. Then confront her directly. If she becomes defensive you made the right decision. Report it! If she has a reasonable explanation you can always cancel the other option. Trust your Mommy gut!
My provider is very clear that I will be her easiest most flexible parent as long as the lines of communication are ALWAYS open. Both good n bad. Things happen, they happen in my care too! But, the moment the questions are not answered or I sense dishonesty, I will be your worst nightmare.
Confrontation is never fun but sometimes its needed. I had a serious incident that my husband was ready to call DHS on. I picked my child to find that she looked like she was attacked by a tiger. I was floored as no call was made and no report written. I spoke to staff and nobody could tell me what happened. I am a county social worker so I know the games and the making sure everyone has the same story crap. I let things cool over the weekend and told the lead teacher I would be back at nap time to talk about the incident.
I came back and pulled them ALL outside the door. I politely said:
First and foremost, you all have one of the hardest jobs. What you do for my child and the rest if these kids is amazing. Your influence n teachings are lessons they will have for life. I am honored to have each of you as teachers for my child. And I can't thank you enough. Now I would like to turn to you n ask WHAT THE HELL happened to my child. And before you answer I want you to know I have no plans of taking this issue any further than this conversation. The air needs to be cleared. I am not upset that she got hurt as things happen. But rather I am outraged that I was not aware, called or informed. Here is my cell number please put it in your phone NOW. We can sit here all day n discuss why reports were not written n calls were not made. And all of you can have lunch n compare notes to make sure the stories match. I respect what you do and I assure you I am not one of those parents. I just want HONEST answers save the crap and bull and if ya didn't see it then tell me.
They all were quiet. Then one spoke. I got the REAL story of what happened and an apology.
I hugged them all and said thank you as I just needed to know what happened and my 2 yr old can't tell me.
I again assured them that I value them and their care and expect the lines of communication to remain open.
Note they have felt comfortable to confront me on things too which is great. Example: dropping my daughter 30 min later than usual makes her transition harder.
So it's a win win. Plus the respect levels will remain higher too!
Good luck!
However, I have sat in enough court rooms & state investigation rooms listening to staff who have rehearsed their stories. I will forever be a "spy" for my child & yes, admittedly I will continue to ask other kids what goes on during the day. As wrong or right as it may be. I am my child's protector. If I sense I am having to ask a question in a sneaky way more than once I will reconsider my child care provider.