So done with BF

kmornelas29

LO will be 11 months old on the 28th, and while I love BF DD, "I am so done with it!" 

I spoke with my pediatrician and she gave me the okay, to start letting DD have tiny amounts of WCM once she turns 11 months old, so that is what we are going to do. I know research says 12 months, but I hardly think 30 days makes a difference, and my pedi agreed. 

My daughter has NEVER taken the bottle, and has BF from only once source the last 11 months, me! So, that means that for 11 months me and baby girl have been tied to the hip. I have never left her more than 3 hours since birth. While I love the time with her, everyone needs their "me time" or "adult time" and I am so ready for it! I need just one night out where I can let loose and a fun night out with friends. Its been years! Literally. 

I am not one to drink even one drink while BF, so I am SO ready for a beer or glass of wine. I can just taste the freedom, the leash being slightly let go. 

I know that I am going to miss BF her, and I feel terrible that the time has ended, but I am so ready for it! 

I am still going to nurse her to sleep for a while longer (probably until she is about 14 months or so), but just knowing that I can do something on my own for a while makes my body feel alive! 

I feel like the worse mom ever ( i know im not) for wanting that freedom, but i so, so, so need it and want it. 

Anyone else in the same boat? 

I feel like there is a whole world out there that i can explore again! A bar, a concert, a night away with the DH, a party, etc. Even with DD we leave weddings early etc. so LO isnt out til 1 am. Maybe I can stay at a wedding for the entire time again! 

BrideDesi

My pediatrician told me to do the same, I have not been able to pump enough for him so I can go to work, let alone have a little time out by myself. We tried giving him formula around seven months but he was not having any of it.

I plan on BF him still at least at night and maybe mornings, as long as he will take a cup of WCM for lunch and dinner. If he refuses to take WCM at all the pedi told me I would have to quit BF him cold turkey. I don't know if I want to completely stop BF because we both enjoy it so much.

horsevaulter

MrsMuq said:

I don't get not being able to drink a beer (or wine), or two, or going out late, considering your LO is 11mo.

I've been BFing DS for 20 months. I've gone away on overnight trips, drink wine on a weekly basis.... BFing, whether you pump or not, really shouldn't be a reason not to indulge in a glass of wine or a concert with friends.

They're old enough at 10, 11mo to be okay for a few extra hours without getting BM.

I was thinking this too.. Lo is 11 months and I have definitely been able to have some me time ever since she was around 5 months and started sleeping better.. That is also when lo started taking a bottle so I do know how hard it is when they dont..

kmornelas29

horsevaulter said:

MrsMuq said:

I don't get not being able to drink a beer (or wine), or two, or going out late, considering your LO is 11mo.

I've been BFing DS for 20 months. I've gone away on overnight trips, drink wine on a weekly basis.... BFing, whether you pump or not, really shouldn't be a reason not to indulge in a glass of wine or a concert with friends.

They're old enough at 10, 11mo to be okay for a few extra hours without getting BM.

I was thinking this too.. Lo is 11 months and I have definitely been able to have some me time ever since she was around 5 months and started sleeping better.. That is also when lo started taking a bottle so I do know how hard it is when they dont..

I am not able to leave because overnight because LO soley relys on me for BF still. She will not take it from any other source but the breast!

If I left at night and she woke up, I would have to be there to nurse her, so I don't feel comfortable yet.

As far as alcohol. I know I could get away with a glass here or there, but as a personal thing, I just don't want to unless I am 100% weaned. To each their own. I know it's my choice, but I'm looking forward to it nonetheless.

LisaLisa1980

I cannot WAIT to stop BF!! I'm in Canada & they say you can give milk 9-12 months. It's the same in Ireland too.

kmornelas29

LisaLisa1980 said:

I cannot WAIT to stop BF!! I'm in Canada & they say you can give milk 9-12 months. It's the same in Ireland too.

Wow, I didn't know that! Thanks for sharing. When I was little doctors use to tell parents 6 months, so my mom is always in shock that its 12 months now here. I know the reasons why they say it, but personally, I feel around the age is fine. Congrats on doing it for as long as you have. BF is so demanding, and while im glad i did it, i too am happy am happy that its wrapping up. 

kmornelas29

MrsMuq said:

kmornelas29 said:

MrsMuq said:

I don't get not being able to drink a beer (or wine), or two, or going out late, considering your LO is 11mo.

I've been BFing DS for 20 months. I've gone away on overnight trips, drink wine on a weekly basis.... BFing, whether you pump or not, really shouldn't be a reason not to indulge in a glass of wine or a concert with friends.

They're old enough at 10, 11mo to be okay for a few extra hours without getting BM.

I was thinking this too.. Lo is 11 months and I have definitely been able to have some me time ever since she was around 5 months and started sleeping better.. That is also when lo started taking a bottle so I do know how hard it is when they dont..

I am not able to leave because overnight because LO soley relys on me for BF still. She will not take it from any other source but the breast! If I left at night and she woke up, I would have to be there to nurse her, so I don't feel comfortable yet. As far as alcohol. I know I could get away with a glass here or there, but as a personal thing, I just don't want to unless I am 100% weaned. To each their own. I know it's my choice, but I'm looking forward to it nonetheless.

It's your choice not to drrnk, but again, there's absolutely no medical or scientific reason why you CAN'T indulge in a glass of wine or two.

And, FWIW, my DS never took a bottle or formula and I didn't pump. I was still able to leave him overnight occasionally.

No, there isn't any medical or scientific reason why I can't, but I still chose not to. Its a personal choice, and just because its a choice, doesn't mean that I don't miss it, and can't wait to get to have some here or there. Thats all I meant by it.

I would not feel comfortable leaving my daughter over night right now at all! When she wakes up she wants to nurse in the night, and will cry until she gets it. I wouldn't want to put that on someone else, when I can help her myself, until she is night weaned at least. Plus, wasn't your baby hungry in the morning? If I left DD overnight, and she was forced to sleep all night without nursing, she would be pissed by morning and want to nurse. You are lucky, because I could never get away with that. Each baby is different. 

mhickey426

I wish bf worked better for me. I made it to 3mo and started supplementing. She was not getting enough. Going back to work stopped it completely. I give you total credit for being able to do it this long . Before I left the hospital the nurse said to me "if you need it or if the baby is cranky have a glass of wine or beer 1 hr before feeding." There is so little that carries over you totally deserve a drink. After so long you will be done after 1. While I wish I was able to bf longer it seriously the hardest thing ever. Give yourself a break because you are awesome. You put your life on hold for 9 mo preggers and 11 mo bfing! You definitely are far from the worst mom ever. Cut yourself a break.

mhickey426

Ps I did cry the first time I gave her a bottle of formula but that was at 3mo and because my dd was hungry.

=Lee=B

I agree with the above posters that at nearly 11months old you do not need to be tied to the hips with your baby.  She can go longer than 3hrs without breastmilk.  She may not WANT to go without but is perfectly fine to.  She is capable of having other food and drink from a sippy cup.  By 12months she can be down to 2-3nursing sessions a day (morning and night) so at 11 months she can surely go a half day and longer without.

What you plan to do is perfectly fine and no cause for guilt.  But if you just need 'me time' then go, have me time and have who ever is watching her give some snacks to hold her over.

 

kmornelas29

MrsMuq said:

Again, OP, there's no reason why you couldn't go out to a concert or wedding or with friends until 1 or 2 a.m. in the morning and still nurse. There's no reason you can't have a drink or two.

I'm just really not sympathetic when you make statements like, "I feel like the worse mom ever ( i know im not) for wanting that freedom, but i so, so, so need it and want it..." when you could have already done these things but chose, for your own reasons as you stated, not to.

Stop with the mommy martyrdom already.

I never asked anyone to feel sympathetic for me. Just sharing my feelings of excitement. Personally, I wouldn't go out to a concert, wedding, etc until 1 or 2 in the morning, when my LO loves the security of being nursed to sleep at night. Granted, she could probably be put to sleep without until I got home, but I don't want to put my "desires" in front of her comfort. Nothing wrong with others that do, to each their own. Its not for me or my family. 

I know its not impossible, as mothers all over the world do it, but it is not the way i chose to be a mother. 

thank you to all the PP who share the excitement with me, and congratulations to all of you as well for making it a year, or as long as you have. Everyday of BF counts, 1 day or 365. 

kmornelas29

mhickey426 said:

Ps I did cry the first time I gave her a bottle of formula but that was at 3mo and because my dd was hungry.

Oh no, I am so sorry that you felt so bad. Any amount of time that you were able to BF your LO is extraordinary. Formula isn't bad, just an alternative Congrats to you and your baby for adjusting to new things, and thanks for the support. 

EmmaOliviasMommy

Wow. Some of you women are complete bitches. It's not mommy martyrdom. She's doing what she's comfortable with, which is ultimately best for her baby. I have a 2 year old and a 9month old...I don't even bf and I rarely leave them for more than a couple hours!

That being said, I think it's wonderful how committed you are it your daughter and bf. there are a lot of moms who take advantage of mommy time in my opinion. Good to see that there are some who don't.

mhickey426

kmornelas29 said:

mhickey426 said:

Ps I did cry the first time I gave her a bottle of formula but that was at 3mo and because my dd was hungry.

Oh no, I am so sorry that you felt so bad. Any amount of time that you were able to BF your LO is extraordinary. Formula isn't bad, just an alternative Congrats to you and your baby for adjusting to new things, and thanks for the support. 

thanks. I did get over it very quickly haha.  It was nice to be able to let someone else feed her once in a while.  Especially, when she was so young and had to eat all the time.  

kmornelas29

MrsMuq said:

EmmaOliviasMommy said:

Wow. Some of you women are complete bitches. It's not mommy martyrdom. She's doing what she's comfortable with, which is ultimately best for her baby. I have a 2 year old and a 9month old...I don't even bf and I rarely leave them for more than a couple hours! That being said, I think it's wonderful how committed you are it your daughter and bf. there are a lot of moms who take advantage of mommy time in my opinion. Good to see that there are some who don't.

Give me a break. Deciding to have no life because you're a mom doesn't make someone a better mother than one who decides to work or go out on a date with her husband, or take a night "off" and spend it with friends.

Your baby isn't going to be scarred by one or two nights of you NOT nursing them to sleep, FFS.

I completely agree, some people are complete bitches. I resent the comment "deciding to have no life because you're a mom..." my daughter is my life, and just because people don't go out every night, doesn't mean that they have no life. Nobody said that it makes someone better or not. Who shoved the stick up your ass? 

I don't chose to not leave my daughter because I think she will be "scared," I don't leave her because it would cause her more distress for me to leave than it is worth. I would rather her go to sleep peacefully than be crying because she wants to nurse, just so I can go out.  Like I already mentioned, my child, my choice. Everyone is different, and if you chose to leave...go for it. I will one day, but when the time is right for ME and MY FAMILY, not because YOU who doesn't even know my child, thank god, says so. 

I was trying to show my simple desire to have some freedom back, and the joy that I was feeling to be slowly weaning. Don't like it, don't post. 

MattysGirl81

I definitely identify with you!  DS who is 4.5 refused the bottle completely so it was just me, all the time!  I ended up nursing him at night until he was almost 2, mainly out of habit towards the end. My 10 month old takes the bottle to a certain extent, but it's not great.  So I still feel like I can't go anywhere, especially because he does need to nurse before nap and bedtime. 
You're NOT a bad mom - nursing for a year is tremendous!!

kmornelas29

MrsMuq said:

kmornelas29 said:

MrsMuq said:

EmmaOliviasMommy said:

Wow. Some of you women are complete bitches. It's not mommy martyrdom. She's doing what she's comfortable with, which is ultimately best for her baby. I have a 2 year old and a 9month old...I don't even bf and I rarely leave them for more than a couple hours!

That being said, I think it's wonderful how committed you are it your daughter and bf. there are a lot of moms who take advantage of mommy time in my opinion. Good to see that there are some who don't.

Give me a break. Deciding to have no life because you're a mom doesn't make someone a better mother than one who decides to work or go out on a date with her husband, or take a night "off" and spend it with friends.

Your baby isn't going to be scarred by one or two nights of you NOT nursing them to sleep, FFS.

I completely agree, some people are complete bitches. I resent the comment "deciding to have no life because you're a mom..." my daughter is my life, and just because people don't go out every night, doesn't mean that they have no life. Nobody said that it makes someone better or not. Who shoved the stick up your ass? 

I don't chose to not leave my daughter because I think she will be "scared," I don't leave her because it would cause her more distress for me to leave than it is worth. I would rather her go to sleep peacefully than be crying because she wants to nurse, just so I can go out.  Like I already mentioned, my child, my choice. Everyone is different, and if you chose to leave...go for it. I will one day, but when the time is right for ME and MY FAMILY, not because YOU who doesn't even know my child, thank god, says so. 

I was trying to show my simple desire to have some freedom back, and the joy that I was feeling to be slowly weaning. Don't like it, don't post. 

No one here said they go out every night. Please. But to have never left your kid for more than 3 hours in over a year, and then whining about it.... because that's exactly what you're doing, whining. Not expressing your desire to have your freedom back.

Your child did not take away your freedom. You did - by shackling yourself to her and then claiming that she doesn't take a bottle, and will only nurse from you, and it's too much work to pump, etc. etc.

You're using breastfeeding as an excuse, and a chain, for not going out, when, in fact, you could, but instead you choose not to. Because that's what's "best" for your family.

If I never went out for more than a few hours at a time, and never had a date night with MH, or
saw my friends without LO, I'd be a freaking lunatic.


Looks like going out still didn't help you, cause you're still a freakin lunatic.

You no longer deserve a response. Write all you want, I won't be back to read it .

kmornelas29

MattysGirl81 said:

I definitely identify with you!  DS who is 4.5 refused the bottle completely so it was just me, all the time!  I ended up nursing him at night until he was almost 2, mainly out of habit towards the end. My 10 month old takes the bottle to a certain extent, but it's not great.  So I still feel like I can't go anywhere, especially because he does need to nurse before nap and bedtime. 
You're NOT a bad mom - nursing for a year is tremendous!!

I was also nursed until 2, and I always tell my mom.. How!? Lol that's too long for me ! Major props to you.

Glad someone else feels the same way! Good to be in it together with someone! Thank you!

HeavenBlessedMom

I think it's up to each person.  I BFed for 6 weeks before we decided my supply was too high (she ate every 45 min due to colic and reflux), but it was not nutritious.  I had lost all 23# in 19 days and she wasn't getting full bc my body went into starvation mode due to not being able to eat during colic.  I had no expectations.  She switched to formula then and WCM at 11 mos.  Was born a month early and reached every milestone well ahead of time.  Do what you can do, but I give moms who BF 6 mo or a year no extra credit than those who choose not to BF at all.  It's a personal decision.

Kissimi21

OP- You are doing what is right for you and your baby.  There is no need to feel guilt, and there is no need for others to judge you for your choices.  Ignore the self-righteous and judgey comments.  You are neither whining nor a "mommy martyr". 

LisaLisa1980

HeavenBlessedMom said:

I think it's up to each person.  I BFed for 6 weeks before we decided my supply was too high (she ate every 45 min due to colic and reflux), but it was not nutritious.  I had lost all 23# in 19 days and she wasn't getting full bc my body went into starvation mode due to not being able to eat during colic.  I had no expectations.  She switched to formula then and WCM at 11 mos.  Was born a month early and reached every milestone well ahead of time.  Do what you can do, but I give moms who BF 6 mo or a year no extra credit than those who choose not to BF at all.  It's a personal decision.

You stopped BF because your supply was too high?!? What?!? So confused!