Diaper raffle/book in lieu of a card

kit0429

Why is this considered rude? No explanation I've read on my birth month makes any actual sense to me.

normandyn7

Mainly because you are asking your guests to bring extra stuff on top of the gift they are going to bring. I know it's not MANDATORY to bring diapers or a book instead of a card but it just seems over the top to ask guests to bring a whole bunch of extra stuff.

Sam Buttons

To add on to the pp, you're putting guests in a position where they could potentially feel uncomfortable - I.e., the antithesis of proper etiquette.

If I spend all my budget on your lovely gift, why should I be made to feel inadequate in someway when I am the only one who shows up without diapers for the raffle?

Valie18

kit0429 said:

Why is this considered rude? No explanation I've read on my birth month makes any actual sense to me.

Search this board and read the responses. If it still doesn't make sense to you, you should just take our word for it.

Empireceo

Let's not forget that anyone who disagrees with her is totes jealous!!!! https://forums.thebump.com/discussion/12270895/my-shower-invitation-design-is-finalized/p1

nah82

Empireceo said:

Let's not forget that anyone who disagrees with her is totes jealous!!!! https://forums.thebump.com/discussion/12270895/my-shower-invitation-design-is-finalized/p1

And the diapers must be chlorine free and in size 1-4...  I generally don't mind diaper raffles but I would definitely roll my eyes at that.  Those fancy "natural" diapers are pricey, especially in addition to another gift and not everyone can afford the luxury to spend that much combined on a baby shower.  I didn't even spend that much on diapers for my own children.  If I participate in a diaper raffle, I bring Pampers because there are always coupons for them!  You should be grateful for whatever gifts you receive, be it a case of chlorine free diapers or a pack of Luvs.  If they're not good enough for your precious little one's tush, just return them.

Specifying things like that can make people uncomfortable choosing gifts thinking you will view them as "not good enough" if they don't choose something up to your standards.

VOR

I'll spell it out.  When I go to a shower, I tend to budget $30 - $50 (depending on how close I am to the MTB).  I'll have in mind what I want to get for that $$.  Sometimes I'll have already bought it.

Then I get an invitation that says "bring diapers!!!!". Even the smallest packs tend to run at least $10, if not $15.  If my budget was $30, that's HALF my budget.

Mandatory or not- putting this request out there absolutely makes people feel they "have" to do it.  And now they will either overspend or they have to adjust their entire gift idea to accommodate your request.

It's not about being jealous. it's about asking and asking and asking your friends and family to give you more more more.  Yes, I like to help my friends out, but on MY terms.  And w/in MY budget.

normandyn7

It wouldn't be so bad except she said they are going to use cloth diapers. So why are you going to have your guests waste money on disposables if you don't plan on using them? That is rude. If I went to a shower, brought a gift AND a pack of diapers and the MTB said she was using cloth diapers I would be pissed.

EDIT: The PP described better than me as to why it is rude.

VOR

smithaz602 said:

It wouldn't be so bad except she said they are going to use cloth diapers. So why are you going to have your guests waste money on disposables if you don't plan on using them? That is rude. If I went to a shower, brought a gift AND a pack of diapers and the MTB said she was using cloth diapers I would be pissed.

EDIT: The PP described better than me as to why it is rude.

THIS too!  while yes, people who CD like to have some disposables on hand, the point of diaper raffles are to stock you up.  if you CD, you don't need that many disposables.  And yes- I'd be pissed to be told "bring diapers", oh but wait.... I'm going to CD so I probably won't use most of them anyhow.  Thanks for spending your money on me, though!!!

normandyn7

Honestly, if I went to a shower and I knew the MTB was going to be using cloth diapers, I would probably give her a couple cloth diapers as her gift and call it good. I wouldn't bring disposables AND a gift. That would be her gift. But I'm cheap so whatever.

Cranang

Look they've explained it to you in the other thread. You're set on it so why are you even bothering with this post?

However, this little gem of a post made you sound like an entitled little twit:
"Eh, it wasn't my idea - I'm going to score a ton of free diapers thanks to the genius of one of my bffs - and wtf I like presents and I'm a FTM. I think it's a win all the way around. "

"Score a ton of free diapers"??? What a lovely way to think of the generosity of your friends and family. "Thanks to the genius of one of my BFF"? So you're pleased that your friend is using subtrifuge to get you stuff? And "wtf I like presents"?? I'd love for your guests to read that post so they could get an idea of who you really are.
I'd rethink the wording on the invite and write that verbatim...see how many people show.

ETA, oh and also put on there that if they think it's rude, then they must be jealous bitches.

Cranang

And what if someone brings a pack of fully chlorinated diapers? Does this disqualify them from the raffle? Btw, raffles are for fundraisers...are you a charity case in need of fundraising??

kit0429

Ok, thanks for the info. Glad I know where you all stand with your budgets.

kit0429

It seems like you just want to be pissy. That's fine! Your life not mine. Not how I choose to spend my time here on earth. My friends basically wouldn't take no for an answer, none of them cloth diaper so they don't get it and I'm a FTM so I'm not 100% sure of how it is going to go, and I figure why not have disposables on hand for traveling, babysitters and day care?

No one I know would feel like I was breaking their budget by asking them to participate in a diaper raffle or think it was rude bc I am cding. Good thing none of you are invited have fun being jealous bitches!!! Lmfao

nah82

kit0429 said:

It seems like you just want to be pissy. That's fine! Your life not mine. Not how I choose to spend my time here on earth. My friends basically wouldn't take no for an answer, none of them cloth diaper so they don't get it and I'm a FTM so I'm not 100% sure of how it is going to go, and I figure why not have disposables on hand for traveling, babysitters and day care? No one I know would feel like I was breaking their budget by asking them to participate in a diaper raffle or think it was rude bc I am cding. Good thing none of you are invited have fun being jealous bitches!!! Lmfao

Yep, good thing because nobody here wants to attend a shower for someone so greedy. >>"I'm going to score a ton of free diapers thanks to the genius of one of my bffs."

Nobody's jealous.  I get my diapers for free because my MIL works at a hospital where she can order them at wholesale price and won't take our money.  And I'm grateful for that.

Valie18

@kit0429 You make no actual sense to me. Can you please explain yourself and your worldview?

Cranang

kit0429 said:

Ok, thanks for the info. Glad I know where you all stand with your budgets.

Wtf does this even mean? It has nothing to do with budgets you twit. It has to do with you thinking your procreation necessitates fundraising and gouging your friends and family for as much stuff as you can because of your pretty pretty princess ideal in which you choose to see yourself. Hence, my suggestion for the rewording of your invite. If you're so right, and we're jealous bitches, then be frank with your guests and tell them how you really feel. Then see how "right" you are.

VOR

OMG.  You;'re a twit.  Why did you post this?  You don't want to actually "understand".  You want to instigate.  Go on and keep gouging your friends for gifts.  Eventually they WILL get tired of it.

Empireceo

kit0429 said:

It seems like you just want to be pissy. That's fine! Your life not mine. Not how I choose to spend my time here on earth. My friends basically wouldn't take no for an answer, none of them cloth diaper so they don't get it and I'm a FTM so I'm not 100% sure of how it is going to go, and I figure why not have disposables on hand for traveling, babysitters and day care? No one I know would feel like I was breaking their budget by asking them to participate in a diaper raffle or think it was rude bc I am cding. Good thing none of you are invited have fun being jealous bitches!!! Lmfao

No one is jealous of you. You're an idiot with no manners. What's to be jealous of?

Gigi8212

First of all, what a waste. I CD and I can tell you that I never use disposables. I get that some people do both, but if you plan to mainly CD, most of those disposables will go to waste. Why not just lose the raffle and register for cloth? It makes too much sense.

Also, diaper raffles are just tacky. But OP is obviously thicker than most. I don't think any amount of posts will make her understand.

ArmyMedic7588

Let's not forget this little peach not only didn't like the answers she got on her thread... but when I posted my invite to our BMB she came over and linked her thread to mine and said "surprised you didn't get bitched at for asking for a book instead of a card" and took over my thread then with her pettiness. (Mind you yes I know it's rude to ask for a book instead of a card... but the invites were already sent out and MIL wanted to surprise DH and I with he invite afterwards... so I had no say in it, nor had any clue they did it). Then still didn't like any of the comments to her so she said she'll ask here (which everyone told her she'll get ripped apart here) and she did anyways... AND STILL doesn't like the comments. WAH!

And really... asking for very specific, expensive diapers is nothing like asking for a cheap book. I don't know where you find chlorine free diapers for like $2. I think thats the only thing I'd be jealous of! Where are you finding such cheap diapers!! But whatever.

Guess May'14 hasn't had a crazy for awhile, someone had to come out!

Have fun with her here ladies... she's a spoiled little brat who needs a good smack up side the head.

Pepper6

I just can't get over having a diaper raffle when you're planning to CD.  I mean seriously?

Diaper raffles are pretty common in my area, so I'm never thrown by seeing this.  Sometimes I participate, sometimes I don't, it's never been a big deal.  But the ONLY reason I don't mind this is that I know that they'll be able to use the diapers.  So to find out they won't even be using them except in the very limited 'supplement' capacity...I'd be highly annoyed and would probably never buy that person a gift again because they clearly don't value that I'm spending my hard earned money for something I thought would be useful.  

normandyn7

Yes we are all jealous of your tackiness.

RibbitGrl930

Seriously, OP? No one was mean to you and all the explanations were legit. I can, however, understand you not considering them legit arguments if you typically don't concern yourself with pesky things like manners.

BTW, I would either take down your invitation or blur out your last name as it makes it very easy for someone to find you on FB.

VOR

RibbitGrl930 said:

BTW, I would either take down your invitation or blur out your last name as it makes it very easy for someone to find you on FB.

OMG.  So, for the hell of it, I did this.  Searched on FB.  Want to know what comes up?  "Katie Dauser Ceramics".  I didn't actually click on the site - not that interested - but that name comes up in the results list.

I was thinking this might all be MUD, and now I'm more convinced of it.  I think she wanted to get people riled up and "curious", and low and behold... looks like she has a business site that she wants people to go to. 

RibbitGrl930

VOR said:

RibbitGrl930 said:

BTW, I would either take down your invitation or blur out your last name as it makes it very easy for someone to find you on FB.

OMG.  So, for the hell of it, I did this.  Searched on FB.  Want to know what comes up?  "Katie Dauser Ceramics".  I didn't actually click on the site - not that interested - but that name comes up in the results list.

I was thinking this might all be MUD, and now I'm more convinced of it.  I think she wanted to get people riled up and "curious", and low and behold... looks like she has a business site that she wants people to go to. 

Hmm...interesting.

VOR

RibbitGrl930 said:

VOR said:

RibbitGrl930 said:

BTW, I would either take down your invitation or blur out your last name as it makes it very easy for someone to find you on FB.

OMG.  So, for the hell of it, I did this.  Searched on FB.  Want to know what comes up?  "Katie Dauser Ceramics".  I didn't actually click on the site - not that interested - but that name comes up in the results list.

I was thinking this might all be MUD, and now I'm more convinced of it.  I think she wanted to get people riled up and "curious", and low and behold... looks like she has a business site that she wants people to go to. 

Hmm...interesting.

I could be wrong.... so, I don't want people blowing up that FB page.  BUT - I just find it curious.  She comes here asking for "understanding", posts her invite that includes her full name, and then the only "katie Dauser" who pops up is a commercial thing? 

nah82

Ceramics doesn't seem like the kind of business you'd be trying to get long distance internet customers to me.  I would think customer base would be more local with classes and the product being fragile and whatnot.  That is kind of a far fetched theory.  She has too much post history to just be spamming.  Just so excited about her invitations she didn't think before she posted with her full name.  Or doesn't know how to edit the image to hide her name.

ETA: My apologies, there is an etsy shop linked to the fb page.  I was picturing the old school ceramics places we have around here where you buy the white molded figures and paint.

Valie18

@kit0429 YGPM

DogfishHead

This is what happens when little girls get pregnant.

MamaPiers

I've been to showers where the invite asked for a book instead of a card and I thought it was a sweet way to build a baby's library instead of wasting $ on a card they won't ever use. Never thought of it as rude.

Cranang

VOR said:

RibbitGrl930 said:

BTW, I would either take down your invitation or blur out your last name as it makes it very easy for someone to find you on FB.

OMG.  So, for the hell of it, I did this.  Searched on FB.  Want to know what comes up?  "Katie Dauser Ceramics".  I didn't actually click on the site - not that interested - but that name comes up in the results list.

I was thinking this might all be MUD, and now I'm more convinced of it.  I think she wanted to get people riled up and "curious", and low and behold... looks like she has a business site that she wants people to go to. 


I made stuff that looks just like that back in my freshman art class in high school...maybe I've been inspired to start a new career. :-)

Liz4444

kit0429 said:

Ok, thanks for the info. Glad I know where you all stand with your budgets.

Where my budget stands is that I can afford to buy my own books and diapers.  

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