Late Term and Child Loss

post-loss visit with your doc

Maybe JoleisaMaybe Joleisa member
edited February 2014 in Late Term and Child Loss

What did your post-loss visit(s) entail? Bloodwork? Exam? Talk only? Were you seen just once or more often?

 

When I had my missed m/c in January 2013 I was still being seen by my RE, so after my D & C I went in weekly for betas to follow them down to zero. After delivering my twins at 21w6d, my first doctor visit is tomorrow at 4.5 weeks post-loss. I'm not looking forward to it, but maybe it will help answer some of the millions of questions swimming through my head each day? 

 

 


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TTC since 10/2010
IUIs # 1-5 = BFFN
IVF # 1(July 2012) = BFN
IVF # 2 (November 2012) = BFP (MIssed MC D&C @ 8w3d on 1/10/13)
IVF # 3 (June 2013) = BFN 
IVF # 4 (September 2013) = BFP Fraternal twin boys! (Loss at 21w6d due to IC on 1/26/14...devastated.)
3/21/14--TAC (transabdominal cerclage) w/Dr. Davis in NJ
IVF # 5 (May 2014) = BFN
FET (August 2014) = BFN

Lilypie Angel and Memorial tickers

Re: post-loss visit with your doc

  • I am very sorry for your loss. I lost my son Elijah at 30 weeks. The doctor scheduled my first visit to discuss the results of his autopsy and aminocentesis 2.5 weeks after his stillbirth. When I went in she also did a physical exam and cleared me for physical activity (exercising, not sex). There was no bloodwork involved, but they had taken a lot of bloodwork when I was in the hospital. She said I didn't need to come back until my annual exam (June). My son's birth was uncomplicated and there was no tearing or stitches needed so this may be why I didn't require a follow-up. Good luck. 
    image
  • My loss was 21 weeks (vag delivery) and the post-delivery visit included a pelvic exam and we went over the results of the placenta tests/ autopsy.  The blood work was all done at the hospital. 

    I think the most painful part was my emotions getting to me. Sitting in a waiting room full of pregnant women and the receptionist handed me the standard post-delivery form which asked baby's details and if breastfeeding was going okay.  It's not her fault - she didn't know - but all of that was hard.

     
    EDD 1/8/10 - our sweet sunshine DD born 12/30/09
    EDD 2/15/14 - Stillbirth at 21 wks 10/02/13
    EDD 8/12/15 - MMC 1/12/15
    EDD 12/24/15

      
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  • @milb11 For 3 weeks I have been trying to talk myself into returning to the gym, but it hasn't happened yet. Thank you for sharing your experience.

    @mingaling2 First of all, I love the Carly Marie sunset picture of your daughter's name--that is gorgeous! (I'm on the list and can't wait to see them in a few months.) Thanks for the visual--my appointment will actually be at the same hospital I delivered at and there will be pregnant women everywhere. Silly me was worrying about the exam when I need to be worried about keeping myself together! They should've prescribed me (1) Xanax to take prior to my follow-up visit--oy.

    I hope they tested my placenta. I have a lot of which came first chicken/egg questions regarding my incompetent cervix and silent preterm labor.


    image
    TTC since 10/2010
    IUIs # 1-5 = BFFN
    IVF # 1(July 2012) = BFN
    IVF # 2 (November 2012) = BFP (MIssed MC D&C @ 8w3d on 1/10/13)
    IVF # 3 (June 2013) = BFN 
    IVF # 4 (September 2013) = BFP Fraternal twin boys! (Loss at 21w6d due to IC on 1/26/14...devastated.)
    3/21/14--TAC (transabdominal cerclage) w/Dr. Davis in NJ
    IVF # 5 (May 2014) = BFN
    FET (August 2014) = BFN

    Lilypie Angel and Memorial tickers
  • @Maybe Joleisa - thank you re: the photo. Just got it this week!

    I hope you can find some answers and it is not too emotionally draining. Please check in after your visit if you are feeling up to it?

     
    EDD 1/8/10 - our sweet sunshine DD born 12/30/09
    EDD 2/15/14 - Stillbirth at 21 wks 10/02/13
    EDD 8/12/15 - MMC 1/12/15
    EDD 12/24/15

      
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  • I'm so sorry for your loss.  I don't know if this will help you, but I wrote down all my questions so that I would remember to ask them all. When you get to talking to your doctor, you tend to forget some questions since your mind is all over the place.

    My 2 week postpartum visit was to make sure I was ok, since I had chorioamnionitis (which caused the pre-term labor, ending my pregnancy at 22.5 weeks).  There was no exam; they just asked me questions about how I was feeling and I asked the doctor questions.  They went over the placenta pathology with me during this visit (they found the infection in both placentas and 1 umbilical cord.  About a week later, the DNA results from the placenta came in and my doctor called me to discuss them.  

    My OB also had me see the MFM that I saw while I was in the hospital for a follow up visit to go over the pathology report from the placentas and umbilical cord.  This was to get a second opinion (my OB is extremely cautious, for good reason in this case) and to get a place in case before I even started to think about TTC again.

    My 6 week postpartum visit consisted of more questions from me and a quick pap to make sure everything was ok.  They also made me fill out a post-partum depression questionnaire, which I am sure I "failed" since I am depressed from the death of my dear sons.

    I've been thinking/researching a lot since then, so I actually go in for one more visit on Thursday to go over more questions.  My doctor has been more than accommodating with my questions and they want me to come in so that we can go over everything in detail. 
  • ***SIGGY WARNING***



    I saw my OB four weeks after we lost Devon. I had a pelvic done, had some questions answered and got referrals for a therapist and BC. I was medically cleared, and we came up with a game plan for TTC and what would be different the next time. We didn't have an autopsy or bloodwork done because we knew the cause, and it wasn't genetic. My OB hadn't delivered Devon - I was at a different hospital in a different town while dealing with my loss - so that was the first time I had seen him. It was a very, very emotional appointment. I cried my eyes out in the elevator after we left.

    I hope you get some answers at your appointment tomorrow. **hugs**






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  • I just had a pelvic exam and asked about  3 million questions that I had written out before...most about trying again and asking if I had done anything to cause her condition.

    I really wasn't prepared for how emotional the visit made me...i was kind of looking at it as a milestone of getting through my grief and when I got there it was really hard and emotional.  I cried for about 30 minutes in the car afterwards and then went home and cried for a long time.

    GL tomorrow...maybe you could call ahead and see if they can go ahead and put you in an exam room  to wait on the dr. and not just have you in the general waiting room.

    ((HUGS))

    Lilypie Angel and Memorial tickers

    8/12-Suprise BFP- Sweet Bunny Born Sleeping 11/21/12 (19 weeks)

    -5/7/13- MMC (8 Weeks)

    11/6/13- BO discovered at 7 weeks- natural MC 11/25/13

    8/14- Surpise IF dx...low AMH (.24)- moving on to IVF

    IVF #1- 11/14- 6R5M4F=2 perfect frosties

    12/19/14- FET of 2 embabies = BFP!!!  One Little Bean EDD: 9/3/15

    Everyone Welcome.

  • I just had mine yesterday. I had to take a post partum depression test (just a questionnaire) and then I was taken in and weighed, blood pressure and the doctor talked to me as well as exams my uterus to see if it went down to normal (pelvic exam)
    No blood work but plenty of talking.
    She went over when I could TTC again and so on.
    So sorry for your loss
  • I don't have any further advice, I just wanted to give you some ((hugs)) before your appointment and let you know we will be thinking of you. Those first appointments are really really tough, but it's important to get your questions answered. I agree with PP about writing down what you want to ask, and even have a pen with you to write down their answers to your questions.
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    Lilypie Angel and Memorial tickersLilypie Kids Birthday tickers

    Me: 32 DH: 33  High School Sweethearts  Married 5/28/2005
    DS1 born 6/5/10 at 40 weeks via emergency c-section due to fetal distress and IUGR caused by placental insufficiency
    DS2 born still 8/28/13 at 32 weeks via emergency c-section due to a complete placental abruption - cause unknown
    Baby #3 on the way, EDD 2/29/16.  Originally twins, but we said goodbye to Baby B at 8 weeks.
  • ***Sig Warning***


    I had two follow up visits after my loss.  The first at 3 weeks was mostly a consult.  I had another follow up 3 weeks later at 6 weeks and that was an exam.  All of my blood work was done at the hospital prior to discharge.Some of the blood work results were back at my 3 week visit, but nothing from the autopsy or pathology.   

    As others have said, that first visit back to your OB office can be really tough.  Don't be afraid to speak up and ask to sit somewhere else.  My office got me into an exam room right away.  It was easier to sit in there instead of the general waiting room.  

    Sending you so many ((((hugs)))) for your appointment.







     
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    I was seen only once, about 4 weeks PP.  It was very hard as the office is located in the hospital where I delivered, and since my doctor is an MFM, it's all pregnant women there as opposed to just a regular OBGyn that might get a lot of routine gyn patients as well.

    As I was being taken back to the room, I could hear a fetal HB in another room and I lost it.  Being back there was hard enough without having to hear that, but I understand there is really nothing they could have done. 

    The nurse talked to us for a while, about our daughter, what we named her, if we had a funeral service, etc.  Then the doctor came in.  She did a quick pelvic exam, I was very nervous about it but I barely felt it (no speculum thank God).  She talked to us about our loss, asnwered questions, gave results of the placenta biopsy though no real answer was found for why I delivered so early.

    She went over what would happen once I got pregnant again, how the pregnancy would be different (ie the monitoring I will get) and she helped prepare me for how I may feel...I might feel over anxious, I might feel detached, etc and she assured me it was all normal.  She also assured me that they understood I would likely be more on edge and in need of reassurance that everything is ok, and that they were prepared to give me that extra attention if I needed it.

    Lilypie - (fm2j)

    Lilypie - (YesX)

     My Pregnancy/Parenting BLOG TTC since 5/2011, BFP #1 12/3/11, M/C 12/7/11 @ 4wks 2d. Began seeing RE Sep 2012. October 2012 Metformin 1500 mg= ovulation on CD34 BFP#2 11/14/12 9DPO, EDD 7/26/13, DX Gestational Diabetes @14 wks, our angel born sleeping 3/24/13 @ 22wks 2d. BFP #3 7/4/13 8DPO EDD 3/22/14, DX Gestational Diabetes @14 wks. started insulin @16 wks.  Our rainbow, born 3/19/14 @ 39wks 6d., we're so in love!

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  • Maybe JoleisaMaybe Joleisa member
    edited February 2014
    So like with most other things, the anticipation of the appointment was worse than the appointment itself. I cried a little bit on the way to the appointment, but once there I was fine...despite all the pregnant ladies around me. (Thank goodness for my iPhone!) She did a pelvic exam and then we talked.

    She concurred that my loss was due to an incompetent cervix, which brought on preterm labor and my premature delivery of our sons. They suggested a preventative vaginal cerclage for next time, but because we are doing IVF I can't guarantee twins won't happen again and they were clear when I begged for a cerclage and pessary prior to my loss that "there was no evidence that those procedures worked in the case of twins." I came home and within the hour had an appointment scheduled for a TAC surgery (transabdominal cerclage) out of state with another doctor.

    Thank you all for your insight--it definitely helped keep me focused and tear-free for my appointment! (Having DH there helped, too.)

    image
    TTC since 10/2010
    IUIs # 1-5 = BFFN
    IVF # 1(July 2012) = BFN
    IVF # 2 (November 2012) = BFP (MIssed MC D&C @ 8w3d on 1/10/13)
    IVF # 3 (June 2013) = BFN 
    IVF # 4 (September 2013) = BFP Fraternal twin boys! (Loss at 21w6d due to IC on 1/26/14...devastated.)
    3/21/14--TAC (transabdominal cerclage) w/Dr. Davis in NJ
    IVF # 5 (May 2014) = BFN
    FET (August 2014) = BFN

    Lilypie Angel and Memorial tickers
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