Doula Questions...help me if you can, please?

Ardmhs83

Interviewing a doula today!  Very excited and nervous!  I'm planning a natural, hospital VBAC with a midwife.  I've got a list of the normal questions, but does anybody have anything I should ask in particular??

Thanks!  

Ardmhs83

I also already clicked on the link on this board too.  Just asking if somebody has anything to add that may not be a "normal" question. 

Thanks!

aylafsu88

I asked how she would handle me if I asked for pain medication because I thought I could not do it. I wanted someone who was strong and positive especially when I was not. She gave me an honest, straightforward answer which I liked and meshed well with my personality. For me personally I went with vibes and meshed well with the doula I selected. she was fantastic in labor.

Ardmhs83

Thank you!  That is a great question! 

cecilyandgautam

Did you have a hired support person the first time? I did and learned a lot - just because some one is nice and has a calming personality doesn't necessarily mean they'll have the skill set to help you out. So my questions this time were a little more pointed and less about whether I "clicked" with the person. Some things I asked:

-What, specifically, do you *do* for the laboring woman? If I'm struggling to cope with the intensity of things, what will you do to help? ie - massage, guided visualization, break out the scented candles, pray, what have you

-What's your experience in getting babies into the ideal position/angle? If I'm having back labor, how would you respond to that?

-What rest-based coping strategies to you encourage in labor? (A typical approach for a slow labor is to walk - but if you labor for 30 hours, you can't walk that whole time - so you need rest-based relaxation/coping tools in your kit as well)

-Since you're the only person we're specifically inviting to join us in this journey (which midwife & nurse is on call is not our decision), I really need to know that you will make my comfort, relaxation your #1 priority. Others may try to rush the natural process or alter it in some way. I need you to be the one guarding and advocating for my ability to peacefully cope with how labor presents itself - regardless of how long it takes. Can you take that on as your one and only goal? Can you promise me you won't try to push me or the baby and won't push for any coping techniques where the primary objective is to "get things going"? [From experience, I know there were be teams of people eager to move things along and I'm not willing to pay yet another person to join that cause - I have a different cause and my doula needs to take it on as her own.]

Those were my main questions. I also called all the people on her list of references to hear their stories. Some women has quick and easy labors. Some had complicated and long ones. It was really helpful to hear how the doula I ultimately picked assisted those women - she clearly has a specific skill set that helps the laboring woman cope, but also to resolve some of the complications that can arise. Every time, I asked what specifically the doula did. If you don't get into the specifics of - she helped the baby turn by doing XYZ, she did light-touch massage, she guided my relaxation/visualization - then you just get these vague platitudes of "oh, she's so great" which I personally don't find very helpful. 

zetaqueen551

I had asked my Doula what her relationship/familiarity was with my Midwife/OB group was, as well as with the nurses at the hospital where I will deliver.  It made me feel so much better knowing she was familiar with them since I am hoping for a VBAC!

Ardmhs83

Super helpful comments ladies!! Ty so much! The meeting went great yesterday too.  I love her and I'm really excited!  I didn't have a doula last time, didn't even know what they were.  I had a planned c/s due to DS being breech.