RE consult today. I was super excited, then last night Alexa was up for 2 hours crying (?gas, nightmare?, stuck in a corner of the crib? who knows). I am grumpy on sub optimal sleep. And so then my mind starts wondering - can I really handle two kids? Am I sure I want to go through IF again? Yes, the outcome was totally worth it but am I pushing my luck? What if it doesn't work? I started thinking about the emotional, mental, physical, and financial strains. Not to mention I have to deal with going to a lot of this alone because we have a kid this time around. I absolutely want a second kid and I know I am just second guessing myself, but I think the reality of actually starting again is something else. No real question, just needed to get that out. So if you made it through, then thanks
Me: 34 Unexplained IF, DH: 31, no issues
3 cycles of Clomid Jan-March 2012
3x BFN
IUI #1 Sept 2012 BFN
IUI #1 Oct 2012 (10/11/12) BFP!
Beta #1 10/26 313
Beta #2 10/29 1450
Beta #3 11/1 4202
U/S #1 11/13
Baby Girl born 7/3/13!!!
And now we begin again...
RE Consult 2/25
Baseline Bloodwork and U/S 3/4
Had a 22mm follicle on the R, getting ready to O on my own...BFN
AF 4/6, CD11 testing done 4/16
3 follies right (largest 18), 1 left (11.8). Lining 7.16
starting Estrace 4/16, trigger 4/16 with IUI likely 4/18
In all seriousness - I think these emotions are totally normal. I think a lot about #2. 95% of the time I think ahead with excitement. I can't wait to be pregnant again - feel movement, watch my belly grow and welcome a new baby and then in turn watch him/her grow. But occasionally the other 5% creeps in and I feel guilty that I am somehow abandoning my baby (LO#1).... and that I will never be able to handle two kids.... and willl my husband be willing to give up more things because I will need more help...
We are not currently TTC but hope to start the quest for #2 later this year, at which time I am sure that 5% will creep in more and more.
Good luck - but I agree, it will all be worth it
"I won't give up on us, even if the skies get rough, I'm giving you all my love, I"m still looking up." TTC #1 since August 2011 MFI Diagnosis - April 2012 IVF #1 - July 2012 - Stims start 7/2, ER 7/12, 20 retrieved, 16 mature, 13 fertilized! ET - 7/17 - 1 blast transferred. Beta - 7/26 273, Beta 2 7/30 - 1143. Beta 3 8/6 - 11,597 12/25 - Santa tells us "IT'S A GIRL!" EDD - April 4th
Our Little Easter Bunny has arrived!
Molly Mildred born 03/31/13
TTC A Sibling....... FET #1 11/14/14, Transferred one beautiful blast
Remaining four frosties arrested due to "embryologist error"
Plllllleasssee stick little icicle.....Beta 11/23...BFN
Starting ALL over with a fresh IVF cycle
Stims start 11/28/14, ER December 10th, 13 eggs retrieved, 11 mature, only 4 fertilized
1 Blast Transferred on December 15th..... Beta Christmas Eve... Please Santa, bring me a baby!
Beta #1 345.....Beta #2....750/ First U/S 1/13/15/HB 131....EDD 9/2/2015
I could have written this exact post!!! We will most likely be going for IVF #4 this summer to try for #2 and it's a lot to wrap my head around. We want another, but the 5% of doubt casts a big shadow sometimes. I think that if we could just have sex and get pregnant, it would be such a big decision. Having to put so much thought and effort into getting pregnant seems to give more time for doubt and second guessing to creep in. I hope that makes sense....
I think any big life changing decision makes you question your direction. I said to my husband and my BFF when we were talking, that I believe my doubt is a way to protect myself if we are unable to get pregnant again. I know that that really is a little silly, but that's the conclusion I came to.
TTC# 1 since 5/10 Me:34 Type 1 Diabetes, Ankylosing Spondylitis, Hypothyroid DH:35 Perfect DX: Unexplained IF Many IUI's with various meds all BFFN IVF #1 11/11 canceled due to OHSS IVF #2 Feb/March 2012 ET of 2 on day 3 4/7 BFP! 5/1 u/s blighted ovum IVF #3 July 2012 ET of 3 on day 3 7/24 BFP! Healthy baby girl born at 36w4d on 3/9/13
TTC #2
IVF #4 May/June 2014 ER 6/4 18R 8M 8F ET 6/9 1 blast, 2 frosties
Beta 6/18 BFFN
FET of 2 blasts 7/24...BFP!
Healthy baby girl born at 36w3d on 3/17/15
TTC#3 IVF #5 June 2018- PGS planned, no surviving embryos IVF #6 August 2018- ET of 2 on day 3 - Chemical pregnancy IVF #7 August 2019-....?
Yes! @kmc84 - so true! I think if I don't allow myself to get too excited or hopeful, I can protect myself from the pain and disappointment. Not silly at all.
Me: 34 Unexplained IF, DH: 31, no issues
3 cycles of Clomid Jan-March 2012
3x BFN
IUI #1 Sept 2012 BFN
IUI #1 Oct 2012 (10/11/12) BFP!
Beta #1 10/26 313
Beta #2 10/29 1450
Beta #3 11/1 4202
U/S #1 11/13
Baby Girl born 7/3/13!!!
And now we begin again...
RE Consult 2/25
Baseline Bloodwork and U/S 3/4
Had a 22mm follicle on the R, getting ready to O on my own...BFN
AF 4/6, CD11 testing done 4/16
3 follies right (largest 18), 1 left (11.8). Lining 7.16
starting Estrace 4/16, trigger 4/16 with IUI likely 4/18
Ah boo that is tough. Nights like that make you wonder. When DS randomly sleeps till 7:30 -8 I wonder why would I mess this up?!!!! Then I think about how I really want him to grow up with someone to play with like I had. It's definitely going to be tough but worth it. Even when I wasn't ready to start treatments again what made me do it was knowing it could take any amount of time and I didn't want to have a huge gap in age with my kids. IT all works out for one reason or another and we all seem to make it work which is why people keep doing it
Married: 5/09 ~ TTC Since: 10/10 ~ PCOS ~ Progesterone from 10/10 - 2/11 ~ HSG on 3/18 - Clear ~ Started Metformin 1000mg & Clomid 50mg 2/11 ~ Metformin upped to 1500mg 4/6 ~ 6/7 Now going to SG and put on Clomid, Ovidrel, Gonal F, Prometrium, Estrace ~ IUI #1 7/2 = BFP!!!!!! March 6th our little man was born.
6/17/13 - Ovidrel, Follistim, Prometrium ~ IUI #1 7/2 = BFP! March 17th our St. Pattys day baby arrived
10/29/17 - Started process for IVF, got pregnant & miscarried a 2nd time since summer. 2/22 started stims - Menopur, Gonal F, Cetrotide - retrieval 3/6 - , PIO, estrace 3xday - FET 4/18 = Beta 1: 616; Beta 2: 1342 = BFP
Re: Ack!
First of all - I love the name Alexa
In all seriousness - I think these emotions are totally normal. I think a lot about #2. 95% of the time I think ahead with excitement. I can't wait to be pregnant again - feel movement, watch my belly grow and welcome a new baby and then in turn watch him/her grow. But occasionally the other 5% creeps in and I feel guilty that I am somehow abandoning my baby (LO#1).... and that I will never be able to handle two kids.... and willl my husband be willing to give up more things because I will need more help...
We are not currently TTC but hope to start the quest for #2 later this year, at which time I am sure that 5% will creep in more and more.
Good luck - but I agree, it will all be worth it
"I won't give up on us, even if the skies get rough, I'm giving you all my love, I"m still looking up."
TTC #1 since August 2011 MFI Diagnosis - April 2012
IVF #1 - July 2012 - Stims start 7/2, ER 7/12, 20 retrieved, 16 mature, 13 fertilized!
ET - 7/17 - 1 blast transferred. Beta - 7/26 273, Beta 2 7/30 - 1143. Beta 3 8/6 - 11,597
12/25 - Santa tells us "IT'S A GIRL!" EDD - April 4th
Our Little Easter Bunny has arrived!
Molly Mildred born 03/31/13
TTC A Sibling....... FET #1 11/14/14, Transferred one beautiful blast
Remaining four frosties arrested due to "embryologist error"
Plllllleasssee stick little icicle.....Beta 11/23...BFN
Starting ALL over with a fresh IVF cycle
Stims start 11/28/14, ER December 10th, 13 eggs retrieved, 11 mature, only 4 fertilized
1 Blast Transferred on December 15th..... Beta Christmas Eve... Please Santa, bring me a baby!
Beta #1 345.....Beta #2....750/ First U/S 1/13/15/HB 131....EDD 9/2/2015
I think any big life changing decision makes you question your direction. I said to my husband and my BFF when we were talking, that I believe my doubt is a way to protect myself if we are unable to get pregnant again. I know that that really is a little silly, but that's the conclusion I came to.
Me:34 Type 1 Diabetes, Ankylosing Spondylitis, Hypothyroid DH:35 Perfect
DX: Unexplained IF
Many IUI's with various meds all BFFN
IVF #1 11/11 canceled due to OHSS
IVF #2 Feb/March 2012 ET of 2 on day 3 4/7 BFP! 5/1 u/s blighted ovum
IVF #3 July 2012 ET of 3 on day 3 7/24 BFP!
Healthy baby girl born at 36w4d on 3/9/13
TTC#3
IVF #5 June 2018- PGS planned, no surviving embryos
IVF #6 August 2018- ET of 2 on day 3 - Chemical pregnancy
IVF #7 August 2019-....?
Married: 5/09 ~ TTC Since: 10/10 ~ PCOS ~ Progesterone from 10/10 - 2/11 ~ HSG on 3/18 - Clear ~ Started Metformin 1000mg & Clomid 50mg 2/11 ~ Metformin upped to 1500mg 4/6 ~ 6/7 Now going to SG and put on Clomid, Ovidrel, Gonal F, Prometrium, Estrace ~ IUI #1 7/2 = BFP!!!!!! March 6th our little man was born.
6/17/13 - Ovidrel, Follistim, Prometrium ~ IUI #1 7/2 = BFP! March 17th our St. Pattys day baby arrived
10/29/17 - Started process for IVF, got pregnant & miscarried a 2nd time since summer. 2/22 started stims - Menopur, Gonal F, Cetrotide - retrieval 3/6 - , PIO, estrace 3xday - FET 4/18 = Beta 1: 616; Beta 2: 1342 = BFP