35+ IVF ladies

keziah23

I thought I'd start a thread for those of us of AMA to discuss the joys and challenges of TTC with IVF  while advancing in age. 

So tell me your story, how old are you, how did you come to be here, what does being an "older" potential mother mean to you?

keziah23

I'll start, I'm 39, will be turning 40 later this year, my husband is the same. We have been together 17 years but waited a long time to start a family.   We were TTC on our own for almost a year before we found out that my husband was azoospermic (zero sperm). We were 37 when we found that out, two years later after surgeries, medicines, invasive tests and lots of money we are here going through IVF.   

To me being an older potential mother is not a huge deal for me mentally, I wonder physically if I'll have the energy to keep up with a child and my husband and I are very set in our ways.  We also have no family closer than 400 miles away which is a concern to me.  We are financially stable though and feel that we have a lot to give to a child. 

gldnbearz

I'll be 39 in a month or so. DH is 43. We've been on the TTC roller coaster since 2009.

Started seeing our RE in 2012. Dx was unexplained IF. Which my DH interprets as they can't find what's broken. We've been through the IUIs. Had a couple of BFPs only to be disappointed. We thought our problem was getting pregnant and then we questioned our selves about staying pregnant.

Now here we are after a freeze all cycle in November for OHSS and PGS. We've done our FET and are in the 2ww for betas.

As for being older parents, my greatest concern is having the energy to keep up with them as young ones and the potential for them not to know their aging grandparents.

pblge

Me too! We hardly waited at all. We met when I was almost 31, then got married when I was 33. We had to finish dissertations and move cross country, then I wanted a year in for my job before we started trying. That was May 2012, and here we are. I'm 36, he's 41. Dx is endometriosis (NEVER had symptoms before we started TTC) and tubal factor from the ectopic. It makes me mad that I didn't meet the right guy until so late, but that's how it went.

I definitely share others' concerns--it feels like parenting would be better when you're young and spry, and I feel less and less spry every day. I also worry that now it will never happen for us.

cls78

I am 35 turning 36 in September. My husband and I have been married for 15 years and we decided a couple of years ago that we finally wanted a child. No idea I would be through such a rollercoaster during the ttc process. Sometimes I regret not trying in my 20's.

keziah23

Welcome everyone. I think its very easy to feel more alone when you are older with no kids and going through something so trying. I'm happy to have everyone sharing, please feel free to talk about whatever you like.  

For me I've been wondering if IVF is harder on the body as we get older. 

indianaalum

I got married later in life, so we are both trying for the first time. We tried immediately upon getting married, but are having issues

I admit, I am more terrified of all the things that can go wrong because I am older. 

Ironically, my doctor and nurse think my issue isn't really age-related and that I can't look at "stats" for somone my age because I have way more follicles than someone my age...(which says nothing to me if they aren't producing a baby)..anyhow, they think I have better odds due to that..so I am "hoping" It ends with good results

Tea+

Hi there! I just turned 40 in December. Found my soul mate late in life. Never had any inclination of issues. Now with finding Endo stage IV and my insides are all over the place. I pray every day this works. I get worried it won't work. That all my life I dreamed of having a family and not having one. Then the fact my body failed me. Not being able to give hubs the family he so well deserves. I could go on forever but I'll stop for now. Lol check in tomorrow. night ladies [: prayers for all. xo

mrsaesanders

Hi all,
I'll be 35 in March . So I hope it's okay I join this conversation. Like others I met my soulmate later in life (at 31). My Husband is 34.
Our journey into infertility came through a chance appointment. In 2012, I met with a new ObGyn who recommended having an HSG based on history of contracting chlamydia (*****expletive ex husband!!!) when I was 20years old...Mind you-at this point, I'm wasn't even trying to get pregnant. Needless to say, the HSg showed blockage in both Fallopian tubes... My boyfriend at the time- now my husband-- was supportive. We immediately met with an RE and she told me my best odds were to remove the tubes totally because the blockage was hydrosalpinx- which is toxic to a fetus.. We were going to start right away until we found my insurance wouldn't cover until we will married. No pressure... Hahaha..
Fast forward to 2014, we are now in the TWW of our first IVF cycle. Things went pretty well for the most part. Retrieved 16 eggs, but only 6 fertilized... Transferred 2 embies on day four post retrieval (long story but yes day 4)..

Deardra77

Hi! I'm 37 over the summer. My original diagnosis was tubal issues (one hydro & the other blocked that was reopened through surgery). Through IVF found out there's more going on, have thick shells that don't permit fertilization, SER aggregates in the eggs, an ovary that basically doesn't produce and the latest curve ball is my husband if borderline MFI. Love being older, more sensible, more stable & very much wanted. No regrets about not having a child younger. I wasn't in the right place in my life to have kids before we started trying

SCSmith2011

I'm 40 and DH is 38. This is a second marriage for both of us. DH has a daughter from his first marriage. We started trying within 7 months of getting married but finding each other later in life has led us to TTC later than I expected I'd be trying a have my first kid. Our Dx is unexplained IF. I was resistent to IVF for a while so we didn't start our first IVF cycle until we had been trying for two years even though I had initially seen the RE at the 6 month mark. We did a package deal with our RE of two fresh, two frozen cycles. Our first cycle didn't yield any blasts to freeze even though we started out with 12 of 12 mature eggs fertilizing. So I'm approaching this cycle as it being our last chance and have done what I could to try to help improve egg quality.

I don't really have any concerns about having a kid at this age. We are already chasing around after a 6 year old. And my mom was 36 when she had me and my dad was 52 and neither of them had issues keeping up with me. So I guess because I had "older" parents my age doesn't seem that much out of the norm for me. :-)  

PrivateOne

I'm 43 and TTC my first.  This is my second marriage and we met later in life, so our journey began with me being at an AMA. We married in 2007 and didn't start to TTC until late in 2009 when I was 39 and fast approaching 40.  I don't care that I will be an older mom, I just want to be a mom.  My husband has two grown step sons from his first marriage (whom he raised as his own while in that marriage as their biological father is deceased). He is very close to them, so they have become a part of my life as well. It's a crazy back story and our family is not traditional in anyway, but it is what it is.   

Also I wanted to point out that there  is a board TTC Over 35. If you haven't joined us there you may want to consider it.  It is really a great group of supportive women in just this situation.  A few of the pps here are on that board as well.

katib77

Hi fellow AMA IVFers.  

I am 36, DH is 42.  We married almost five years ago and started TTC right away.  May 2010 is when we were dx with MFI for DH and LPD for me.  Due to being oop, we waited until 2011 to start IUIs.  We did five between spring 2011 and spring 2013.  #4 was a c/p, all others were BFN.  I finally got a *little* insurance coverage so that we could do IVF last fall, ended up needing a freeze all and did FET.  Got PG with our one and only embryo that made it to freeze out of the seven that fertilized.  Learned of missed m/c at 8 weeks.  I'm now in my second cycle since losing our little boy.  And starting to plan everything for IVF #2, back to being all oop.  It will be our last opportunity (along with if we have any to freeze for FETs).  

As for the age factor, we always set a time frame when we learned we were IF.  We would try for five years for our entire family (I honestly thought that would be for two, that of course we'd get PG with at least one before he hit that stop point).  Now that we'll do our fresh IVF right before our five year anniversary, I know we're pushing that deadline if there are any FETs left.  But really we agree that not only have we put enough time, money, and emotional energy into this these last five years but that we're just getting old.  There's more concern on the issues that come with that.  Hell, I could go on and on about thoughts on being one of the "older parents" but really that doesn't bother me *too* much.  Especially since it's more common for our generation than times past.  And well, you ladies I'm sure have had those thoughts too.

ExoticAntibiotic

I'm 35, DH is 47. We've been together for 3 years and ttc for 18 months. I was diagnosed with PCOS as a teenager and a friend, who is a male urologist, referred me to my RE straight away. We then found out that my DH has MFI, so he is now seeing my urologist friend. We've done 6 TI cycles, 3 IUIs, and now have 1 IVF under our belts.

I worry a little bit about my husband's age and the amount of hours he works/his commute. I was a nanny for 15 years, so I know my energy levels can rebound quickly! I am currently a housewife because caring for other people's children while doing treatments was too much; the mother I worked for wasn't really into being a mother, and that's hard to be around when you're struggling.

ksgsmu

 I met and married my amazing DH at age 35.  We knew that we wanted to start TTC right away due to our ages ( He was 36). I naively thought that because I had regular periods I would get knocked up right away. What I didn't know is that I had autoimmune issues and severely lazy ovaries.  I had been tracking and charting OPKS... the whole drill. I went to my OBGYN at the 6 month mark and she ran basic testing.  I knew enough from this board to skip to an RE so I did my research and went to the RE right away.  At first we were unexplained but as we began medicated cycles etc... it was pretty clear my ovaries were not going to cooperate.  I did get the surprise of my life and get pregnant naturally after 13months of trying only to lose it. We had some hope and kept on, more IUI's, cancelled cycles and a failed IVF.  My numbers ( AFC especially) have only gotten worse.  RE had mentioned Donor Eggs over a year ago but was willing for me to keep trying.  After my last cancelled IVF I knew I was ready to move on.  So we are currently cycling with donor eggs. It has been a rough road.

The ladies over on TTC 35 are awesome and we welcome everyone!  We would love for you all to join us!

BeckyP005

I will be 46 this May doing DE. Got remarried later in life. If this cycle works (FX) will be 47 five months after baby born.

To be honest I hate being this old but I guess I would rather be an "older" mom than not a mom at all. Some don't feel their age and have endless bounds of energy but I don't and just thinking working 11 hr days is making my head hurt and it scares me..lol. Yes I know others do too but this is what I worry about! Hopefully my hours can change.

I have other reasons too but will stop I frequent a board that some are having babies as late as 49/50 so I guess I'm kinda young!! Good luck to us all.

@ExoticAntibiotic I am also a nanny with same family going on 20 yrs! Obviously more like a house assistant now..haha.

HopefulSoul2

I am 40 and on my 2nd IVF cycle.  FX this is it for me; however, if this cycle fails, I am not sure where I will go from here.  DH and I have never discussed a "bottom line."  I am not opposed to DE but DH didn't seem very receptive to the idea. I don't necessarily think he is against DE, I just think he wanted to give it all we had with my OE before we explored other options.

I am currently 1dp3dt and am already dying to POAS. Ha!

I consider myself very lucky to have found the Bump and become a part of such a wonderful group of ladies who always seem make me smile when I'm feeling blue. Not sure how I would get through this without all of you!

 

jlr96

Hi ladies!  This is a great post as it is something I think about daily.  I am 36 & DH is 34.  We did not meet until after college so when we got married in 2006, I was 29 & he was 26.  We knew we wanted to be married a few years before TTC & I honestly never even gave age a second thought.  I figured we would have our fun then TTC whenever we were ready.  I was 33 when I stopped my BCP & like everyone else, figured I would be pregnant the first time we tried.  Here we are 3 years later & I think about my age constantly.  I feel like I am in a constant race against time & it is very stressful.  The first RE we went to (I was 35) kept telling me I was still young & age was the most important factor so we did 5 IUI's thinking they would work.  When we decided to find a new RE for IVF, I was diagnosed with LOR/DOR on the first visit.  So, I now feel like I am not only racing against time but against my egg supply as well.

I do worry about being "older" potential parents but I worry about other family members more.  The main issue I have is seeing my mom with my 6 year old niece & thinking if I don't hurry up & have a baby that my mom won't be able to do all of the things she does with her with our child.  I also worry because all of the nieces & nephews on my husband's side of the family are pretty close in age & our child would not be close to any of them.  At least once a week I play the game where I say if I have a kid at XX age, then I will be XX when they graduate high school or get married or whatever else.  I guess it all boils down to it is what it is.  DH & I are at a point where we are financially stable, have a beautiful house & are SO ready to start our family.  I remember how we used to joke about the number of kids we wanted & now it seems impossible to just have one!

I have lurked on the TTC 35 board but never posted or made an introduction but maybe it's time to do that.  Good luck to all of you ladies wherever you may be in your journeys!

STL34

***SAIF and TTC after 35 Post***

 

 

Hi, I am 35 (I will be 36 April 1) and my husband is 40 (he will be 41 in May).  We got married when I was 30 and he was 35.  We wanted to move into a new house (we were living in my town home at that time) before we started TTC.  However, I stopped BCPs about 6 months before we moved and we started TTC shortly after that.  So, right before I turned 31. I had a lot of pain with intercourse and some other issues so I spoke to my OB when I went in for my annual.  I ended up having a laparoscopy right before I turned 32.  She also did CD3 testing and I found out I had borderline high FSH.  After the lap, I scheduled an appointment with an RE.  I learned that I had DOR.  While my FSH was borderline, my AFCs were low and my AMH was low.  We did a bunch of testing and found out I had immune issues and blood clotting issues and my husband had low morph. 

We did our first 2 IVF cycles when I was 32 and our third when I was 33.  We finally conceived on the third cycle (with really low betas) and we have a daughter.  We are now TTC #2.  I'm hoping to get an IVF cycle in before I turn 36.  My reserve is definitely worse now and my cycle was postponed at baseline.  I am waiting for CD1 to retry baseline and hopefully move forward!

Good luck ladies!!

keziah23

Welcome everyone, I'd say its good to see you here but to be honest I hope your stay is short!

I find it interesting how we all came to be at this place, in so many different ways yet we have so much in common. 

Parentsoon

Hello! This group is so encouraging. It is wonderful to share and release our worries. I am so glad to have found this community. I just started my 2nd IVF cycle and here is my journey: Married 4/2012 egg retrieval 6/13 Estrogen was too high for embryo transfer so we delayed it until Oct I am diagnosed with adneyomyosis so I have heavy/painful periods I was put on lupron depot injections to calm uterus from adneyomyosis inflammation & put iron back in my system My hemoglobin was low as well We froze 3; transferred 2; and were unsuccessful; 1 frosty left I had my menstrual cycle that was awful I was put on birth control pills to stop the bleeding I was put back on the lupron depot injections for 3 months I have taken Chinese Concentrated Herbs for 1 month to clean out my liver, kidneys, lungs, and uterus. I have had 45 minute weekly acupuncture sessions for 1 month. Aunt Flo came on 2/13. Now acupuncture sessions will increase to twice a week until egg retrieval. I started 5 units of Lupron on 2/14. First B/W & U/S was 2/20. Started 225 units of Follistim on 2/22 As of 2/25 Estrogen is 274 and there are 4 follicles on the left and 5 on the right, they are all above 10 & lining is a 10. Next appt is 2/27 Egg retrieval on 3/5 I'm miserable I have headaches everyday and I'm so bloated I could bust... I am wishing everyone well and sending many blessings!

Parentsoon

I'm 40 and my DH is 48 Has anyone heard about giving your husband caffeine on the day of the retrieval?

O2girl

Hello...
I'm 37 and DH is 33....
We met when I was 33 and DH was 29. We didnt expect to still be here with all honesty. Our IF was initially all thought to be MFI. After I developed a bad case of OHSS after my ER we had to wait to do our transfer. We had 10 perfect embryos. Unfortunately out FET resulted in a BFN. Due to it not being expected my RE agreed that I should have an MRI of my pelvic area. It turns out that while I'm great at producing eggs, I have a condition called adenomyosis which is similar to endometriosis except that the lining of the uterus grows into the muscle of my uterus verses growing outside my uterus as it does with endo.

I have now been on depot lupron for 3 months to supress my adenomyosis and we are going forward with FET #2 on March 19th. Hopefully this will be a wonderful anniversary gift as DH and my anniversary is on the 12th.

So that's our story....

BeckyP005

@PrivateOne I feel so old :: insert very sad face :: I'm pushing you up in age with me...you are now almost 46 lol. Don't you feel so special? :x

PrivateOne

BeckyP005 said:

@PrivateOne I feel so old :: insert very sad face :: I'm pushing you up in age with me...you are now almost 46 lol. Don't you feel so special? :x

Ugh .... My b-day is only a little more than a month away and I'll be 44 on that day.  I can't believe it.  I'm really having a hard time with it and all of this stuff lately.  BUT we have to remain positive.  You need to be my "older than dirt and preggo" buddy hee heee heee. Let's make it happen, okay???

<<hugs>>

Lady2010

Hi All - 

I am 36, DH is 38.  We met when I was 29 and married a few months shy of turning 33.  We decided to wait since we weren't in a rush - and didn't really think we would have trouble (neither my mom nor my sister had any trouble getting pregnant.  I asked my mom and she said for me it took longer - 4 mos - which isn't long.  And my sister got pregnant on the first month of trying with both her kids... I assumed fertility ran in my blood.  Boy was I wrong!).

Anyhow - we decided to wait until after a planned trip at the end of 2011 to start trying (had to take anti-malarial medicine due to where we were traveling to).  So once we were back in early '12, I went to my gyn, waited the obligatory 2 cycles to ensure that and bcp was out of my system and then we started trying.  We had to pause after a few months as DH had to have knee surgery and then as we were back to trying I left my job for a new one - new company, etc.  So we decided to press hold again for 2 - 3 cycles just to be sure my job would be protected by FMLA.  I never went back on BCP - we would just use protection when I was ovulating.  And then of course once we were very actively trying again we had no luck. 

In terms of our ages - I don't feel 'old' but I guess when I look around and see all of our friends' kids are now in school or soon to start.  And what I think I am saddest about is that my niece and nephew won't be close in age with our kids.  If all goes well this cycle then my nephew would be 7 1/2 and my niece would be 5 by the time we had a baby.  My SIL is expecting (younger than me and of course happened right away for them) so we will have another niece who could be closer in age which would be nice but the majority of friends' and my sister's kids would be a bit older.

I do think that by waiting we are in a good financial position to be able to provide for our kids (whenever we are lucky enough).  And more established in our careers to have greater flexibility.  I have no worries about being an 'older' parent - just so long as I get to be a parent.

Parentsoon

O2girl: I understand how you feel battling adneyomyosis. I too, also produce lots of healthy eggs, but have to get them to implant and grow. I used Chinese herbs for this cycle and I can feel the difference. My pain during my menstrual flow was not as bad, and the flow stopped on its own in 8 days. Acupuncture has helped as well.

Parentsoon

Lady2010! Hopeful with U! May you be fruitful and blessed! I'm 40 and don't feel old, yet. I feel blessed that I have options and the flexibility of a seasoned career. I too have nieces & nephews that are growing up while we struggle. I know how u feel. Be well.