Public vs. Private

trizzie

I am struggling.  DS is in private kinder this year (it only goes to kinder).  We live in a great district and the public school that we are districted for is the top school.  Yet, I am struggling about sending him there.  I have one option as far as private school goes. I haven't toured it yet, so I don't have a firm grasp on my feelings about it.  Several dear friends (who I trust) have pulled their kids from our district and are sending their kids there.  I am going to go tour it and ask a lot of questions (and take my mom who is a former public school teacher).  I have many different reasons for the way I feel - I don't love the way public school is headed - teaching to the test, no room for creative thinking, etc.  Our district has a LONG school day 7:45 - 3:30 (the private school would be 8:15-3).  And to be honest, the Sandy Hooks, Columbines, etc of the world scare me.  I know we can't keep our kids in a bubble forever, but my gosh I would like to!  

So, what are your thoughts on private vs. public?  

Andrewsgal

First of all private schools are no safer than public schools what happened at sandy hook could have very well have happened at a private Christian school. That being said. We chose the district we did because of the amazing public schools. I can't justify sending 30 grand a year on something a year I can get better for free. Our public schools offer way more opportunities than any of the local private. I will never say never but until our public schools fail to meet me kids needs that is where they will stay.

ASullivan1231

Yeah I'm not being snarky but, like AG said, there is nothing (that I know of) saying private is safer than public.  We also chose our town bc of it's excellent schools.  For me, I can't imagine buying in an area with bad public schools.  That was really a top priority for us. We can't afford private schools, but even if we could, I'd personally prefer to just live in a town with good public schools for so many reasons.  

We live in Massachusetts, most or many towns have good or great public schools.  I think education is partly the actual school, but also a big part is my contribution to my kids and the school - me being an active and involved parent.  I also don't buy the idea that public school teachers don't care or can be lazy.  I know some AMAZING teachers who put their heart and soul in to their work.  Of course, we all hear of crappy teachers too, but I don't believe they are the norm.  (I know you didn't blame the teachers, I just wanted to add that.  I think teachers can get a bad rap.)

Spin313

Like the others, we moved into the district we wanted our kids to be in. The schools are tops, and there's no way I'd pay for private when the public schools are excellent.

What is it you think you'll be getting from the private school that makes it a better option for you...?

trizzie

Spin313 said:

Like the others, we moved into the district we wanted our kids to be in. The schools are tops, and there's no way I'd pay for private when the public schools are excellent. What is it you think you'll be getting from the private school that makes it a better option for you...?

Spin313 said:

Like the others, we moved into the district we wanted our kids to be in. The schools are tops, and there's no way I'd pay for private when the public schools are excellent. What is it you think you'll be getting from the private school that makes it a better option for you...?

You guys are right about the safety thing.

The private school I am looking at is actually very affordable (which is the only reason it is an option).  The public school we would be sending him to will not give tours and that bothers me.  I want to see the school my child would be going to and see the interactions, etc. (that is a whole other subject - it has been addressed through appropriate channels. I am waiting to see how it shakes out).  

I think the biggest part of it is I am having a hard time letting go (and I will be the first to admit that. the past year has made me hold on tighter. I know it is my issue) and I think the smaller environment appeals to me.

bottom line - they will probably go to public. I just want to explore all of our options, so i know that I have, you know?

nosoup4u

I would give your public school a chance. Have you tried contacting an admin about tours? Or even just a chance to meet w someone to talk about what the school is like?

DS1 is at a local neighborhood school for kindergarten, but we're most likely switching him to a private Montessori next year. I really really believe in public ed, but it's very hard watching your kid have a crappy kindergarten experience, and knowing school isn't going to be any more fun in the future if he stays where he's at.

We're in a large urban district, and there are too many crappy constraints on teachers, like testing and very little free time for the kids. We'll reassess school when he's in third grade or so. I'm also hoping Common Core implodes by then...

And FWIW, the school I really want him to be at is $6700 a year. Even the fanciest private schools in the city top out at $15K/year.

Spin313

Yeah, I doubt many public schools do "tours," as they are not seeking people out. But usually if you contact the principal or one of the teachers, you can come in and observe and/or talk to someone. The letting go always tends to be hard, regardless of the environment.

chardonnay24

We are strongly considering it. Our city is awesome (Portland) but the public schools are terrible. There is very little funding for schools, the teachers are constantly striking or threatening it, class sizes are huge, and the quality of education is just not there. My nephew is learning to read in private kinder right now while a friend's 1st grader is lucky to work on sight words in his class of 36 with only one teacher. There are better schools in the suburbs but we have very little interest in buying in the burbs.

Spin313

discobelle said:

All of our local public schools do Open Houses in the weeks leading up to Kindergarten enrollment.  I would definitely want to see the school my kids would be attending.  

You're right. I didn't really think of Open House/Round-up as a tour, but it kind of is.

trizzie

Spin313 said:

Yeah, I doubt many public schools do "tours," as they are not seeking people out. But usually if you contact the principal or one of the teachers, you can come in and observe and/or talk to someone. The letting go always tends to be hard, regardless of the environment.

Every school in our district does tours - except this one.  My best friend is a principal (in another district) and she said she gives them daily.  I was told by an administrator that there policy is no tours and anything I wanted to know I could find online.

Andrewsgal

You will get a tour at kindergarten round up. We live in the sane area and I would be serious skeptical of any school that does not charge at least $8500-$9000 as that seems to be the going range for the middle of the road ones. I know ones that are cheaper and they are terrible.

trizzie

Andrewsgal said:

You will get a tour at kindergarten round up. We live in the sane area and I would be serious skeptical of any school that does not charge at least $8500-$9000 as that seems to be the going range for the middle of the road ones. I know ones that are cheaper and they are terrible.

He is going into first and I was told I couldn't come to kinder roundup (I am going anyways and pretending I didn't hear that).

vlagrl29

we are in a good district and will go public for sure.

Andrewsgal

trizzie said:

Andrewsgal said:

You will get a tour at kindergarten round up. We live in the sane area and I would be serious skeptical of any school that does not charge at least $8500-$9000 as that seems to be the going range for the middle of the road ones. I know ones that are cheaper and they are terrible.

He is going into first and I was told I couldn't come to kinder roundup (I am going anyways and pretending I didn't hear that).

ah I see. That makes more sense. Check out when the open houses are, and crash one.

trizzie

Andrewsgal said:

trizzie said:

Andrewsgal said:

You will get a tour at kindergarten round up. We live in the sane area and I would be serious skeptical of any school that does not charge at least $8500-$9000 as that seems to be the going range for the middle of the road ones. I know ones that are cheaper and they are terrible.

He is going into first and I was told I couldn't come to kinder roundup (I am going anyways and pretending I didn't hear that).

ah I see. That makes more sense. Check out when the open houses are, and crash one.

I like the way you think.

lexusolsen

Where we live private doesn't equal better.

I would be sure to ask about the credentials of the teachers. Private schools don't have to hire credentialed teachers- although many do.

What extras does your public school offer? Does the private school offer the same or better extras?

Also, have you taken the practice assessment for your state? In CA it is the Sbac and there is a practice test available online. In my district, heck even just at my school site, there is a lot of uncertainty as to just how much common core will change things and what those changes will look like. I wouldn't run to a private school just yet.

trizzie

Given what you've said, I'd absolutely go with public. Of course you can always change your mind but I wouldn't go in with trepidation saying, "well, we'll see..." You need to give it a honest effort and 100% if you want it to work. I am surprised they wouldn't let you come visit since you aren't officially supposed to to the kinder round up. Did you speak directly with the principal?

Yep. It is her policy (I have been told this will be changed, but I am not banking on it).  I have a ton of friends whose kids go there, so I will have no problem joining the PTA and getting involved.  I just have hesitations.

brachysira

I think it is reasonable to be told that they don't do tours.  Private schools are trying to attract you, and public schools do not have to pander.  As someone worried about safety, it would comfort me that they don't have random adults in the school at just their request.  I'm sure that there is a "fun night' or enrollment day or something else that would allow you to look around.  I would just check with some other people who can help you think outside the traditional tour.

notkateanymore

Well, just because you pay to go to school doesn't mean you won't shoot it up...I assume that's been mentioned in the previous comments. DD did private from 4k- the middle of 2nd grade and has been in public since then. We are in the top district in our state and we moved there solely for the special education services that her old school {that we paid over 10k a year for} wouldn't provide. 

trizzie

brachysira said:

I think it is reasonable to be told that they don't do tours.  Private schools are trying to attract you, and public schools do not have to pander.  As someone worried about safety, it would comfort me that they don't have random adults in the school at just their request.  I'm sure that there is a "fun night' or enrollment day or something else that would allow you to look around.  I would just check with some other people who can help you think outside the traditional tour.

I respectfully disagree. They have the ability to run background checks in the office (I have been told). I think with proof of residence, as a taxpayer I should be allowed a tour.  Just my personal opinion. They let random people in to do assemblies all the time, so I think a potential parent should be allowed.  Not into the classrooms during instructional times, of course.

trizzie

Also, (about the tours), my friend had a good point. Someone posted on a Facebook page (that is specific to our town) that she called to request a tour at that school because she wants to buy a house over here. She was turned down and very put off by it.  When that happens (and it is posted on social media), it is bad PR and it hurts property values.  That may be a dramatic point of view, but it accurate.

trizzie

LalaMama81 said:

Honestly, beyond the orientation type days for incoming Kindergarteners I have never heard of anyone getting a tour at a public school. I realize in your situation being able to visit since you aren't starting at K would be nice or could be important - but it really is outside the norm from what I know. 

Might be a district thing?  Ours allows transfers within districts - so people tour to make sure they are where they want to be.  We built our house where we did because of this school. But, there has been a lot of change and turmoil at the school since we built four years ago. 

bhuffman

Tours are available here. I was just speaking to a friend about this the other day because she knew my son's principal from a tour she had taken when they had moved to our town a couple of years ago. Their kids ended up at a different elementary school in our district due to zoning, but she was able to picture who I was talking about.
ANYWAY- could you call for a tour once school has let out, but when the office staff is still working?

trizzie

bhuffman said:

Tours are available here. I was just speaking to a friend about this the other day because she knew my son's principal from a tour she had taken when they had moved to our town a couple of years ago. Their kids ended up at a different elementary school in our district due to zoning, but she was able to picture who I was talking about. ANYWAY- could you call for a tour once school has let out, but when the office staff is still working?

I can definitely try! It is really important to me.

bhuffman

Also, if your school is highly rated, it is so for a reason.
We moved to our district because it is the best in the state. We paid more for our house and higher taxes to "get in", so I would never drop extra money for private school.

spring_time

I would given the public school a shot. I am a huge proponent of public Ed and would be hard pressed to find a reason ton go private. Of course we bought our house where we did for the schools. I also agree with the posters who had never heard of tours in public schools. One of your concerns is the Sandy Hook tragedy, but you want random strangers touring the schools? Visitors for assemblies are vetted through their organization. There is no way there is any time for the office staff to do background checks. Not to be rude, but I would much rather the principal and office staff focus on school requirements than handholds all the nervous first time moms who want a tour. If you need it to feel better, ask to tour after hours.

trizzie

spring_time said:

I would given the public school a shot. I am a huge proponent of public Ed and would be hard pressed to find a reason ton go private. Of course we bought our house where we did for the schools. I also agree with the posters who had never heard of tours in public schools. One of your concerns is the Sandy Hook tragedy, but you want random strangers touring the schools? Visitors for assemblies are vetted through their organization. There is no way there is any time for the office staff to do background checks. Not to be rude, but I would much rather the principal and office staff focus on school requirements than handholds all the nervous first time moms who want a tour. If you need it to feel better, ask to tour after hours.

I did ask for an after hours tour. I was told no (after the original request was denied).  And that sends up a red flag for me - may make me a nervous first time mom. I am okay with that.

ToastieSimons

Usually they offer an open house day to have tours to view the schools.  I guess that's the "pro" of living in my hometown.  I've toured all the school at some point in my life.  

With that said, my boys go privately because the public schools cannot meet their special needs.

Court0026

We pay about 7K in school taxes and live in a good school district, so I personally can't see spending additional money for private school.  If you had a different school district set up, it might be worth consideration?  It sounds like your child has a good opportunity in the public school. 

trizzie

NandaB said:

I also have never heard of random people getting tours of public elementary schools. And I have worked at/had friends in numerous districts. Also, if you don't want to go into classrooms, and you wanted to go afterhours what exactly do you hope to see that will sway your decision? Not trying to be snarky, but you will see the quality of the hallways, and maybe meet the custodian. That won't really tell you much about the quality of the exucation. As far as background checking people do you really think they are pulling randos off the street to do assemblies? You know those people come from actual organizations, right? Also if I was a school employee working in the office and some chick came in demanding a tour because they were house shopping I would laugh at her. I get being nervous, I totally get it, but as others have said private isn't always better just because you pay.

Different strokes, like I said, I am okay with that. 

trizzie

NandaB said:

I get that you're trying to say you disagree with me, but I'm not sure the saying applies here. Im just trying to understand what you think you will get out of the tour? I think you are letting the principals safety policy affect your decision (like as a way to talk your self out of the public school) because you are already fearful. I felt much safer teaching at closed campuses than open. And as a parent I appreciate the the school isn't letting random people off the street wander the school for funzies. AND that my principal (or other school employees) aren't taking time away from their actual jobs to play real estate agent.

I can get a better feeling for the school and the administration if I am able to see it for myself.  I understand your side and I wish I could better explain my side.  But, I probably won't be able to sufficiently.  Plus, I have a 3 year old who refused to potty train today and instead had five accidents (and I stupidly decided to start a detox diet today as well) so my brain is fried and I am wiped out. 

mrsrobinsontobe

There will certainly be a time designated for you to see the school; it probably hasn't been scheduled yet, so that's why you're unaware of when it is. Schools pretty much stopped a lot of unsafe practices that had been in place and became leery of visitors after Sandy Hook. As a visible PTO officer, I am one of quite a few parents who are always in our children's school building, and they make us follow strict protocols, which is good. If you want to see the school and what it's all about, go to a fair or a play...that's where you get a good idea of the pulse of the community. Trust me, you'll get NOTHING after hours!

And, believe me, no place is safe from harm anymore. You can be in the newest facility with all the bells and whistles and security cameras, etc. If someone wants to do something bad, they'll figure out a way to do it. It's sad...but it's the world we live in and it has nothing to do with whether we send our kids to public or private school!

spring_time

spring_time said:

I would given the public school a shot. I am a huge proponent of public Ed and would be hard pressed to find a reason ton go private. Of course we bought our house where we did for the schools. I also agree with the posters who had never heard of tours in public schools. One of your concerns is the Sandy Hook tragedy, but you want random strangers touring the schools? Visitors for assemblies are vetted through their organization. There is no way there is any time for the office staff to do background checks. Not to be rude, but I would much rather the principal and office staff focus on school requirements than handholds all the nervous first time moms who want a tour. If you need it to feel better, ask to tour after hours.

I did ask for an after hours tour. I was told no (after the original request was denied).  And that sends up a red flag for me - may make me a nervous first time mom. I am okay with that.

In that case, maybe find out when they have a special program and visit during that time. That will give you a real measure of the school.  You can call and ask when they have an Open House and crash it, but that is also when they are putting their best foot forward.  Maybe visit for a PTA meeting.    

trizzie

JellyBellyStar said:

This seems to be an issue with you rather than the school.  I think you are scared.  I'm not exactly sure what you are expecting to see.  You already know how the school is your friends kids go there.  If they have poor recommendations that's one thing, but it sounds like you visually have to see that your kid will be okay away from you.  He will and you have to give him a chance. 

I'm not really sure if you were asking a question throughout this post...

I was - people's thoughts on public school vs. private.  That was my OP.  

Lilly&Co

ToastieSimons said:

Usually they offer an open house day to have tours to view the schools.  I guess that's the "pro" of living in my hometown.  I've toured all the school at some point in my life.  

With that said, my boys go privately because the public schools cannot meet their special needs.

Just a question for you, Have you tried public with an IEP? If the school that they are currently in is working for them have you tried to get the district to pay for it. 

bumpuser8448316

Where we currently live, I don't love the schools. Our plan all along has been to move this year so that we're out of this district in time for DS to start kinder. If for some reason we aren't bake to move or can't find a house in our preferred districts we have a back up private school as an option. It's not any safer than the punk schools IMO but we just feel it's a better option than the elementary school we're zoned for

ariel06

DS1 goes to an excellent public school.  It is rated much higher than the nearby private schools.  Many of the private schools choose to do the same testing so that parents can compare their scores to the public schools.  

I believe his school does tours for Kindergarten round up and before school starts for new students.  I would be really annoyed if our principal and teachers were wasting time trying to "sell" our school when they should be spending their time on more important things.  Plus office staff is not able to perform full background checks just by looking at someone's ID.  

fsumom

My DD went to an amazing private school through kindergarten and I wish we could still financially afford to send her there.  We bought a house in a great public school district but have not had a great 1st grade experience.  With that being said, DD's fine and I don't believe it'll have an impact on her in the future.  I doubt she realizes it's been a bad year since it's teacher related: lack of communication and organization and excessive absences (18 full days so far).

alli2672

I have no idea where your kids should go to school, but I wanted to comment that I had no problem getting a tour of our public school with the principal and meeting the kindergarten teacher.  I don't think it's a completely unreasonable expectation.

trizzie

amy052006 said:

Late to the game -- but our public school quite willingly opens it doors for tours. It's competing for kids who can afford private school, or who can apply to charters.  I think its weird to not even get inside a school and talk to some people before you send your kids there.

Thanks for this.  I don't think it is unreasonable to want to see the place my kid is going to be spending 8 hours a day away from me.  I am okay if others think it is, but I don't.

fsumom

trizzie said:

amy052006 said:

Late to the game -- but our public school quite willingly opens it doors for tours. It's competing for kids who can afford private school, or who can apply to charters.  I think its weird to not even get inside a school and talk to some people before you send your kids there.

Thanks for this.  I don't think it is unreasonable to want to see the place my kid is going to be spending 8 hours a day away from me.  I am okay if others think it is, but I don't.

I do understand this but public schools are different than private.  We didn't get a private tour of DD's school.  I went to kindergarten orientation to see it first hand although she was starting 1st grade.