need Advise! my husband's brother keeps touching my belly!

jamiesmith81

My husband has a little brother who is sixteen years old (there is an 18 year difference between them,lol) and he is always touching my belly. I've asked him stop touching my belly in the past but he keeps doing it. Normally I would not have a problem with this but, he has a history of trying to feel on girls and women. a few years ago he was suspended from school for touching a teacher's butt. another incident is when my husband and I got married, all six of my bridesmaids complained about him trying to feel them up while dancing at the wedding reception. There have been countless other incidents that I won't go into right now. All of incidents happened a few years ago, but when he touches my belly it makes me really uncomfortable. I need some advise ladies! how do i tell him to stop touching my belly without looking like the mean sister-in-law. I also don't want my mother-in-law to get mad at either. Help! What should I do or say to make him stop? 

InLovewSB

Say 'Please stop touching my belly.'

ncbelle

You just tell him - firmly.  It's your body and your right to say no.  That's not "mean."

Avion22

Keep telling him to stop.  If you can, try to brush his hand away as he's reaching out.  Get your husband to talk to him about how inappropriate it is.

Empireceo

"Please stop touching me, you're creeping me the fuck out."

estapleton12

Keep telling him to stop.  If you can, try to brush his hand away as he's reaching out.  Get your husband to talk to him about how inappropriate it is.

This. If you have told him to stop and he still isn't maybe your husband could be a little more firm with the request. I can completely understand why you wouldn't want this happening. Hope it gets figured out soon!

CurlieWhirlie

Does he have any developmental issues? Sensory issues? I agree with PPs that you should absolutely be able to tell him firmly that you do not want him to touch your belly. It is your body and it is your right, and no one should get upset about that (if they do, that's their problem). But it sounds like, from the history you mention, he might have some issues and isn't just trying to "feel up" girls. If that's the case, you may have to tell him repeatedly, every single time he does it, gently but firmly — it may take a while to sink in. Don't expect him to intuitively get it immediately, if there's more going on with him neurologically.

mcgeeva

More then that if he has issues touching people never leave your baby around him alone.

Unknown

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MaybeKatie10

You all are so much more patient than me!  I request politely ONCE. Then my response changes to: 

"If you touch me again, I will break your fucking hand." 

After that, i'd snap the little creep's finger in half. 

I also second NEVER leaving future baby alone with this kid. 

MelissaV10

MaybeKatie10 said:

You all are so much more patient than me!  I request politely ONCE. Then my response changes to: 

"If you touch me again, I will break your fucking hand." 

After that, i'd snap the little creep's finger in half. 

I also second NEVER leaving future baby alone with this kid. 

Same here!  I have actually hit someones hand for continuing to touch after being told not to.  They finally took the "hint".  

SparkySharky

Be very firm. I'd say, "I've asked you before not touch my belly and you're still doing it. You're being very disrespectful and need to stop."

The kid has boundary issues. Don't be afraid to be the adult. If the MIL gives you any trouble, just reach your hand out while she's talking to you and place it on her belly - and keep it there until she asks you to move it.

MadBloom

Maybe when you're around him you can wear something that covers you up more too? I agree with other posters that you just need to be firm but if he's got these boundary issues then you should almost expect that he might try when he sees you so I would wear something more baggy to make it less appealing maybe? Good luck!

pigtails1031777

Ya this kid sound creepy. Do not leave kids alone with him!!!!!

RebeccaY1

It's your body and you have the right to say no.  If it makes someone mad then too bad for them.  You have the right to say no.  The first time I'd say no, the second I'm I'd freak right out.  I'd have no problem saying to leave me alone.  I'd also avoid contact and not visit with him again. 

Rrrrrachel

I (gently) slapped my moms hand away for trying to touch my belly without permission. I don't even want to know what I would do in this situation. Quit worrying about being mean and tell him to knock it off.

PanWang

You need to BE the mean sister in law, so he knows he won't be able to mess with your kid. He needs to respect you, take you seriously, and, yes, fear you.

rockopera

I agree with everyone.  You have to stand up for yourself, more than just say "please don't" after it's over.  Slap his hand away.  Flat out tell him "never do that again."  

And really, you DH also needs to step up here.  It is not okay for someone to treat his wife that way, and as an older brother he needs to put the smack down on.  

If MIL actually gets upset, that is a clear indication of why he would think he can continue to do this.  A 16yo gets no pass on not knowing better.  

AmandaMacD

How about get your effing hands off of me? You've asked him before and he obviously has an issue. Be firm.....it's your body!

cerafina205

Turn away and say you need to use the restroom when you see him going in for the feel. Pregnant ladies always have to use the restroom! When you visit, bring a really big purse like a tote and keep it pulled over your belly.

MapleLeafMama

Hiding your belly with a bag or clothing just hides from the reality. It's your body, tell him no. Especially if he has boundary issues. Being nice isn't going to cut it.

Meery82

MaybeKatie10 said:

You all are so much more patient than me!  I request politely ONCE. Then my response changes to: 

"If you touch me again, I will break your fucking hand." 

After that, i'd snap the little creep's finger in half. 

I also second NEVER leaving future baby alone with this kid. 

Definitely this. Your husband needs to step up and put the little prick in his place as well.

Cosmolove

If he wasn't listening to me I'd have your husband talk to him about it.

gypsymystic

CurlieWhirlie said:

Does he have any developmental issues? Sensory issues? I agree with PPs that you should absolutely be able to tell him firmly that you do not want him to touch your belly. It is your body and it is your right, and no one should get upset about that (if they do, that's their problem). But it sounds like, from the history you mention, he might have some issues and isn't just trying to "feel up" girls. If that's the case, you may have to tell him repeatedly, every single time he does it, gently but firmly — it may take a while to sink in. Don't expect him to intuitively get it immediately, if there's more going on with him neurologically.

 I agree. As a teacher, currently becoming certified to teach special needs, it sounds like there is more going on with BIL developmentally, and this may require a different approach.