Can we start another 'clueless FTM' question thread?

Golferbee

... Because I have some. And the other seemed helpful at first before it got crazy. Ha.

katykatykaty

Go for it.  

Golferbee

Do you put the car seat behind you or the passenger side? I'm guessing drivers side because it's easier to get them out on the same side?

jennybean80

Middle. Easy access from either side. There are times when you wont want to get LO out of the drivers side (into heavy traffic for example). Plus that way if someone parks too close to one side of your car you can still get LO in!

Golferbee

Is it easy to see them in those reverse baby mirrors in the middle?

ring_pop

Golferbee said:

Do you put the car seat behind you or the passenger side? I'm guessing drivers side because it's easier to get them out on the same side?

It depends a little on the car but generally, the rule of thumb is that the middle is the safest, followed by the driver's side, followed by the passenger side. We've had ours in the middle this whole time until it was time to have 2 car seats.

Golferbee

2. I've heard it's advised against swaddling with straight legs, can you swaddle/is it comfortable with the legs like tucked into the baby?

linzerd

Mine is much more serious than dumb. I really just want to know what I can really do to avoid PPD. I live on the second floor of my parent's house and they are both retired and here all the time. Seeing and having to talk to my mother every day is already too much and I am already slowly going insane. It's something different that we have blowouts about every week and I really can't take it anymore. I'm really scared for being stuck in this house for weeks on end alone with an infant and really wanting her to leave me alone. (

VineyardMel

Golferbee said:

2. I've heard it's advised against swaddling with straight legs, can you swaddle/is it comfortable with the legs like tucked into the baby?

I can't quite figure out what you mean. I just laid baby on the swaddle and wrapped her. I've never heard anything about a problem with their legs being straight (and they're always kind of bent for a while and straighten out more as they grow and get used to all the space. I think with DD she would have kicked it loose stretching if I'd tried to force her legs to be tucked.

BabiesFTW

babycaps said:

@linzerd, start lining up activities outside the house now!!!  check out www.meetup.com, find a local "mom group", sign up for baby swim class or baby and mom yoga class, check out local churches for free activities, and so on.  Keep yourself busy (once you are all recovered) as much as possible.  Insist on running your own errands with your babe.  Check out "free days" at your local art museum, children's museum, and other such places...

edit: Also start scheduling time/days with your friends to come visit and hang out with you and go out to even just walk around.  Tell your mom you are going to have her baby-sit here and there but that you also need your independence!

I second moms groups. They can be so great.

KariB509

I agree with all the answers so I'm just going to chim in and say that I haven't read a stupid question yet

JayNina

Golferbee said:

Do you put the car seat behind you or the passenger side? I'm guessing drivers side because it's easier to get them out on the same side?

Middle is safest, followed by passenger side and then drivers side.  This is according to the Car seat Tech that we went too.  Drivers side is last because most accidents happen on that side.

JayNina

linzerd said:

Mine is much more serious than dumb. I really just want to know what I can really do to avoid PPD. I live on the second floor of my parent's house and they are both retired and here all the time. Seeing and having to talk to my mother every day is already too much and I am already slowly going insane. It's something different that we have blowouts about every week and I really can't take it anymore. I'm really scared for being stuck in this house for weeks on end alone with an infant and really wanting her to leave me alone. (

Definitely look up meetup.com and try to find a Mommy group.  Local library's usually do a story time for babies, swim lessons, anything to get out of the house.  When DD was little, I would get starbucks and just walk around Target.

akflutterby

I agree with @babycaps too. I use meetup.com all the time and am active in several groups. It's a great way to meet new people and I've seen lots of mommy groups. Totally worth checking what's in your area. Also, the hospital may have some postings for local groups. Good luck! I lived with my mom for a while after I had my second and it was NOT going well until I made us get out and about regularly.

Rita092010

torilea said:

Do you put the car seat behind you or the passenger side? I'm guessing drivers side because it's easier to get them out on the same side?

When I went to the fire department to get our seat checked today, they said its safest in the middle, but if you can't do it in the middle then it just depends on convenience. We couldn't put our in the center because our LATCH system in our Jeep isn't compatible with putting it in the middle so it's behind the drivers seat.

You can almost always do middle depending on type of car -- most often a center install must be done with a seatbelt. Typically, the car seat has parameters as well as the car utilizing latch, and even if LATCH sharing is allowed (using outside LATCH for a middle install, such as in some Fords, the car seat might not allow that great of a width).   

LATCH isn't any safer than a seat belt install if done correctly.  Middle is nearly always best, even when using a seatbelt install! I can't speak specifically for a Jeep though (LATCH wouldn't make it impossible, I just don't know if there is a hump in the middle or not that would cause issues).

I hope that all makes sense -- it is confusing!

VineyardMel

babycaps said:

an edit on my swaddle thing earlier:  Although you should not put the arms down in such way that they are not free for babies to have "hand to mouth access", there are some babies who startle themselves out of a deep sleep when they literally hit their own face.  So you'll have to learn what is going to work best for your baby in terms of swaddle.  But you shouldn't make a habit of arms down!

Also, once they start turning from back to tummy, you shouldn't swaddle their arms anymore as they need to be able to push up if they DO turn in their sleep!

It's interesting that you said this. Our first nurse in the hospital showed DH the "hands up" swaddle and it's the one thing I absolutely want to do differently this time. Not only was there always fabric by her face from her loosening it, but she flailed all over the place. I definitely had an exceptionally restless kid with a very strong Moro reflex, but I think she really needed to be wrapped up tightly and I'll always wonder if it's one of the reasons she had so much trouble sleeping. We gave up on swaddling all together because she always broke out of it and at 10wks I found the "escape proof" swaddle and it wasn't until I started using it that she actually as able to sleep without being held. I guess I thought the whole point of swaddling was to keep them tight so the moro reflex was contained.

mrsdahamm

@laura8388 I asked my pediatrician basically this question yesterday. I was worried because I've been just guessing how much to give him if/when someone else feeds him a bottle. She said anywhere from 1-4 ounces is a normal amount, just depends on the baby/time.

katykatykaty

As far as swaddling goes, I don't think the Halo or Summer Swaddlers allow for hands to be by their face. I agree with @vineyardmel that that would cause the fabric to get loose and defeat the purpose of swaddling. The swaddlers also take the guesswork out of the legs... You just put their legs in the leg slot. Luckily DD liked them, and I'm hoping this one is the same.

katykatykaty

I also agree about the middle being safest even if you're only using a seatbelt and not the LATCH system. That's what our 'inspectors' told us, anyway.

kaking78

@farmboyswife - What year is your liberty?  We have a 2005 and I've found conflicting evidence on whether we can use the LATCH system in the middle or not.  (Supposedly we have a manual somewhere, but MH isn't sure where he put it last.)

Stephout

babycaps said:

@golferbee, are you talking about swaddling in general?  Not in a carseat right?  Never swaddle a baby in a carseat!!

As for swaddling, you should tuck the legs up with a knee bend, but you'll also have to find what is comfy for your baby!  Most babies hate straight legs in a swaddle.

What you should NEVER do, as it impairs the baby's natural instincts to have their hands near their face for self-soothing, is swaddle the arms down or in a "straight jacket" fashion.  The hands should be midline on the chest like you holding your hands up for a prayer.

My knowledge of swaddling is pretty much whatever they said on happiest baby on the block. I don't think they did much with the legs, probably left them straight, but they wrapped arms down?

VineyardMel

babycaps said:

@vineyardmel, my bestie has a 6 month old who woke himself up CONSTANTLY so she gave in and got the "straight jacket" swaddle that is stretchy.  The arms are still up in a prayer position but inside so they can't hit his face.  She found it to be a happy medium for overnight sleep especially.  some babies just can't handle free arms all the time.  I don't think it will hurt a baby to sleep with the arms in, it's just what is developmentally recommended that I'm "quoting" here.  My stick is WAY more about safety and things like sleeping in carseats and inclines (as you may recal ).  But when it comes to swaddling, each baby will have their own needs.  My mom tells me I HATED being swaddled as a kid and I'm an expert "factory" swaddler and a fan of them too!  I wonder what my baby will like? 

The one that keeps the arms in and still allows for arm movement is the "woombie".  I don't like it myself for my kid (it just gives me anxiety looking at how contained the kid is), but some moms swear by it!

Yeah--I couldn't use any of the commercial ones with DD. She could break out of anything until I did the escape proof method. You can look it up on YouTube, but it's one blanket that fully holds their arms against them with a regular swaddle on top of that. The straight jacket is the only thing that works on some kiddos. But I've never heard anything about a hands down swaddle not being safe. That's what they taught in the child care class we attended, what our pedi recommended and what THBOTB teaches (and I swear by their soothing methods). All the commercial ones I tried also work hands down. It seems like if that was unsafe it wouldn't be so prevalent.

ETA: what is it that would make it unsafe?

Golferbee

Do you actually have a wipe preference? I have some huggie wipes, target brand, and some 'natural' brand... Is there really a difference? Can I just get what I find a good deal on/someone gives me?

Golferbee

Also, I can't be the only FTM with questions! Lol. C'mon lurkers!

jh&kh

Golferbee said:

Do you actually have a wipe preference? I have some huggie wipes, target brand, and some 'natural' brand... Is there really a difference? Can I just get what I find a good deal on/someone gives me?

I prefer Huggies Natural, my DD has super sensitive skin (eczema) and these have never been an issue for us. I would try not to change wipes (or diaper brands) too much because their skin is pretty sensitive. Find one you like and stick to it!

nblondheim

@Laura8388 We got told that a baby will stop eating when full but I don't think our "piggy" would!!! I increase their amounts by 5 mls if they have been finishing full feedings consistently and seem hungry. Bentley takes 75 mls and Karley takes 90 mls.

ifr8955

I drove a Jeep Wrangler until my hubby and I moved in with each other. Then he mysteriously was taking it all the time to work. Lol, I didn't mind driving his much nicer SUV. It's basically understood now that the wrangler is his car.

VineyardMel

I really Pampers Sensitive wipes.

Lollirot

Golferbee said:

Do you actually have a wipe preference? I have some huggie wipes, target brand, and some 'natural' brand... Is there really a difference? Can I just get what I find a good deal on/someone gives me?

I really never used wipes. Back when I had DS money was tight. I used wash clothes instead and I'll probably end up doing the same thing with this LO as well. The only time I used wipes was for when I'd take DS out with me.

SomersIsles

FarmBoysWife said:

Blonderedhead781 said:

Am I crazy for thinking I don't need to spend a crap ton of money on a stupid Boppy pillow? I am thinking that a regular firm pillow would be just fine and I can save us $30-$50.

Yep, you'll be fine.

Another option is to talk to any other mom. Typically the boppy and bumbo are available as a hand-me-down.

I know my friend used the boppy for tummy time, sitting, and breastfeeding.

carrieandtim

torilea said:

Do you put the car seat behind you or the passenger side? I'm guessing drivers side because it's easier to get them out on the same side?

When I went to the fire department to get our seat checked today, they said its safest in the middle, but if you can't do it in the middle then it just depends on convenience. We couldn't put our in the center because our LATCH system in our Jeep isn't compatible with putting it in the middle so it's behind the drivers seat.

If you'd like it in the middle, you don't have to use latch.

ifr8955

wait

torilea said:

ifr8955 said:

I drove a Jeep Wrangler until my hubby and I moved in with each other. Then he mysteriously was taking it all the time to work. Lol, I didn't mind driving his much nicer SUV. It's basically understood now that the wrangler is his car.

The Wrangler is awesome, and his is completely loaded and his dad (who owns a body shop in town) has added a bunch of extras.  However, it's hard enough for me to get in and out of that thing when I'm not pregnant (let alone now), and I'm just imagining how much of a pain it'll be to do it with a baby in a car seat.  Plus he has trail tires on it so it literally gets about 10mpg right now.  I used to drive a Hyundai Accent that got close to 40mpg so I'm struggling with filling up weekly just to run errands.  

Agreed. They are a pain in the ass to get in. I hope you can come to a compromise with your hubby

mrsdahamm

Blonderedhead781 said:

Am I crazy for thinking I don't need to spend a crap ton of money on a stupid Boppy pillow? I am thinking that a regular firm pillow would be just fine and I can save us $30-$50.

I agree with maybe trying to find one used or a handmedown. I received two at my shower and thought about returning one, but I'm kinda loving having one in the bedroom and one in the living room for nursing. I also sometimes sit LO in it and "hug" it around him to keep him upright for a bit after he eats if he stays awake.

Grenagh

So I have to bring everything for baby into hospital. My questions are, should I start swaddling in there and do I need sleepers for night time or do they stayed dressed the same as daytime usually? Tia

mrsdahamm

We like pampers sensitive wipes too. They were the first ones we used at home, then I used some huggies and lo's butt turned bright red, so we're back to the pampers. Luckily, DH's best friend's mom got us a huge multipack thing of wipes for our shower and they are the pampers sensitive so... Jackpot

lwebley

Great questions @Golferbee!

Any idea how many newborn diapers we should stock up on before hand? I've heard they grow out of them quickly, so I don't want to buy too many, but don't want to have too few either.

Edit: missing words

SomersIsles

lwebley said:

Great questions @Golferbee!

Any idea how many newborn diapers we should stock up on before hand? I've heard they grow out of them quickly, so I don't want to buy too many, but don't want to have too few either.

Edit: missing words

I have no clue plus I THINK I might CD and won't have to worry about it... We'll see.... But I have seen this website pop up on Pinterest often. Perhaps some veteran moms can chime in on how valid her numbers are.

I've attached a screenshot of where she lays out the diaper count...

springbaby03

We only use pampers sensitive whipes. As pp mentioned trying them for yourself. @Torilea he sounds like a caring dad already, I'm impressed. I don't put whipes ointments soaps or lotion on my baby that I don't try out for myself first. May seem strange but some whipes burn, I can remove my makeup without burning with pampers sensitive.

As far as the boppy goes, my mom made me a boomerang or V/U shaped pillow, pretty simple if you have a sewing machine. My kids still use their "grandma pillow".

[Deleted User]

The user and all related content has been deleted.

AKPuffin

I'll go and if this has been asked I must've completely missed it.  

My hospital bag is packed EXCEPT for an outfit for me to wear home.  I have no idea what to pack especially if I end up having a c-section.  It's still technically "winter" in Germany even though it's 45 degrees at the moment and we have yet to see snow so a dress might be out of the question.

Brich3321

Thanks @golferbee. Great questions! I have been procrastinating with the cR seat so I'm glad you asked this.

@Blonderedhead781 As far as the Boppy goes, I ended up getting the code for a free one, just had to pay shipping (I think it came to $12) but I don't think it's quite as sturdy as the more expensive one. I have seen this code for free + shipping quite a few times now but for the life of me can't remember where I saw it?? Mine originally came from Motherhood Materity when I first registered with them. I'm thinking the other place I saw it was maybe in the back of a Parents magazine? Sound familiar to anyone else? Anyway, if you can find it it's an option rather than the $60 one to start anyway.