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I have no feelings

lorist202lorist202 member
in Working Moms
I'm 6 mos pregnant, and I'm excelling at my new job.  Things at work are awesome.  Then, my supervisor confided in me yesterday that she and her H have been TTC for over a year and she's very sad & disappointed.  Today, I brought her in an unopened OPK that I have been trying to find a home for.  She was so touched that she welled up with tears and gave me a hug.  Instead of just sharing the moment, I quickly insisted that I just didn't want to throw it out, and really ignored the obvious support that she needed.  I feel like such a cold, unfeeling jerk.  Where have my feelings gone?  Anyway, thanks for letting me vent...

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Re: I have no feelings

  • mlee116mlee116 member
    I do this all the time and then beat myself up about it.  It's just that sometimes its so hard to know what to say!  

    You obviously aren't that cold because you are still thinking about it and realizing that you could've been more supportive.  She probably didn't think that you were being that way anyways.  I would just try to give her some support if she seems to need it going forward. 
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  • sillygirliosillygirlio member
    edited February 2014

    I lived in that woman's shoes for a long time.  It's terrible.  It maybe would have been nicer if you hadn't said you didn't want to waste it, but seriously you're probably fine.  Any sort of gesture is so rare when you're going through something like this. 

      I know it's hard to know what to do or  say.  If you're ever in that situation again here is what to do:  1) NO advice!  2)No platitudes (these things happen for a reason... God's will... bla bla bla)  3) No assurance that you're sure it will happen... no one knows it will happen!  4) Don't suggest adoption.

    The only thing you should ever say to be helpful is "I'm so sorry this is happening." or your version of those words.  That is the golden statement.  

    Since she's confided in you, you might be in for more awkward situations.  The resolve organization has a great collection of articles for friends/family/what have you that could help you feel more informed and comfortable with the situation.   www.resolve.org

    Good luck!

     

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