Recurring dreams of ex

Asantusa1

I am happily married and we are expecting our first. Ever since the start of my second trimester I am having continual dreams of my ex- fiancé. It was a long-term relationship (negative one) that I ended before we got married. 2 yrs later I met my husband. My ex and I used to get into abusive sort of situations and we both drank to much together. Our relationship was a roller coaster and as a clinician I can say not a healthy one. I am so happy I am in a stable trust worthy one now.

Why is it that he is in my dreams. Some happy memories but mostly bad. I dream of our old relationship approx 2-3x week. It's so odd because we have not spoken in 4 years. I had two boyfriends in between him and my husband. And have never regretted leaving him after meeting my husband. How can I get these dreams to stop. I feel angry, scared, ashamed and quilty as a result of these dreams. Is this hormones?

That+One+Girl

Your dreams are not your fault. Being pregnant can make you have crazy dreams. There are a bunch of threads about some crazy ones we all have. Try not to think of them too much and remember a dream is just a dream.

alphalyrae

I happen to believe that a lot of what is in your dreams, especially if they are recurring frequently is your sub-conscious. Do you have anyone who you could just talk to but won't take your conversation elsewhere? You may just need to say out-loud that you don't regret the course your life has taken. Or, if there's something right now, even unrelated to your current relationship with your husband that is bothering you, that could be sub-consciously nagging at your memories of your ex. You have no reason to be angry, scared, or ashamed and please please don't feel guilty! Obviously, it is perfectly normal for you to be feeling this way and I am not trying to minimize how you are feeling. But you may want to have a session or two or three with a therapist. Just to get rid of those emotions.

NorthernGal248

I have crazy dreams about an ex, too. In most of my dreams there seems to be a lot of regret - that we never gave it a chance. I hate having those dreams because I wake up feeling so guilty! I love my husband and would not have changed any of my decisions.

I def think that getting it out of my system would help, but there is nobody I can trust enough with these dreams.

I honestly hope that you are able to get past them. They suck.

theoryofwhat

Agree with PP about crazy pregnancy dreams. Don't feel guilty or ashamed! I've had dreams involving my ex, but they mainly involved me punching him in his face. I also dream a lot about cake and pie, so my dreams are all over the place. It happens.

Racheal2W

When I was pregnant with my son years ago I had a ton of dreams about my ex, but like everyone else said, it means nothing! Pregnancy dreams are insane and make no sense most times.

QOTR

I've had several of those too.  Mine was an unhealthy relationship also and in my case, ended 14 years ago.   I always think it is my brain's way of reminding me how lucky I am to be in a healthy relationship now and how grateful I am that I never had a baby with that jerk. 

delatl

I have had tons of dreams about my ex since becoming pregnant. Like others, it was a bad relationship and my dreams are filled with regrets about being with him, and relief upon waking. I'm just riding it out, figuring it's a mix of pregnancy hormones and real deep feelings in my subconscious.

Jillzy86

I've been having dreams about my ex's and when I wake up I'm so happy that I'm not waking up next to any of them! I think it's just hormones and sometimes if they pop onto my newsfeed that's when I'll have a dream about one or all of them. I probably should delete them from my FB now that I think about it.

IBackBevo

During both of my pregnancies (but especially my first) I had dreams about my exes. I have read that it is normal. I would not worry about it.

I also have dreams about being back in high school and college (over 10 years ago) and having to take a test that I am not prepared for. Obviously, I don't want to go back and redo college or take tests that I am not prepared for.

Bootsie327

Sometimes I think unpleasant dreams of the past are just to help you reiterate to yourself what you don't want now and going forward. I think particularly this happens when you're going through a big change. Probably having your first child is making you think about all of the things in your past that you don't want to repeat as you start a clean slate with your LO. Dreams just get you to think about things you would normally keep hidden in the back of your mind...especially during pregnancy! My pregnancy dreams have been rivaling my Vicodin dreams that I had when I had Shingles a few years ago.