Has anyone used a doula during deployment

elektra1835

Hello ladies, I haven't bumped in quite a while but I was hoping I could get a little feedback from anyone whose gone through labor & delivery while there spouse was deployed.

I'm currently 5 months pregnant and just found out that my husband will not be present for the birth of our second child. I am not interested in having my mom or MIL in the delivery room with me (my mom may not even be there and my MIL will be looking after my older son) and didn't have anyone other than my husband with me during the first delivery. That being said, b/c my husband won't be present this time around I thought it might be nice to have some extra support from a doula. I just don't want to spend that money and then regret having hired a stranger to be present during such a private moment in my life, especially considering I've already gone through labor/delivery once before. So, have any of you used a doula as a stand in for your spouse or partner? If so, did you think her presence made it a more positive experience?

Also, we wouldn't qualify for Operation Special Delivery just in case someone was going to suggest that. Any input would be greatly appreciated. Thanks so much!

Avion22

We are using a doula, and H will be around for the delivery.  Our base actually has an organization where doulas volunteer their time to ladies whose husbands will be deployed for the birth, and the feedback has been REALLY positive.   I think it sounds like it could be a really positive experience and you should at least look into it.   

At least for us, it's really not very expensive.  It sounds like most doulas in our area charge anywhere from $100-$300 for a whole range of services (including a few meetings before the birth, and some post-partum services).   

arcook0307

YES!  I highly recommend it.  I had a doula with my second born last July because I had one with my first and loved it.  There was also a chance my husband would get extended and would barely miss the birth (which actually happened).  It was nice because I had someone in the room the whole time.  It was helpful when I felt like I couldn't think for myself or wanted to say the meds weren't coming fast enough....she was there to say "See? It's dripping.  It just looks like it's not coming fast enough".  It made a world of difference for my anxiety.  She also took me to the hospital which made things so much less stressful.

Leks

I'm a doula! And the best thing you can do with getting a doula is that you can interview ("meet and greet" is another term we use too), and get to know us. Interview more than one doula. Think about your birth and think about what kind of support that you want. Do you want to have somebody who is motherly or grandmotherly? Do you want some one who can feel like a girl friend? Do you want somebody who can educate you better on your options and help you make informed choices, or do you want somebody who is going to focus on nurturing? There are so many different kinds of support that we can offer, and each doula will have different strengths.

We're trained to know the birth process, and be a source of educated information, as well as a source of strength and comfort. We get to know you and your birth desires and fears through prenatal visits, and this will allow you to get to know us and feel comfortable. This helps us not be a stranger when you start laboring. And we won't leave your side (unless you wish us to), so you won't be alone. 

From the standpoint of a doula, I love being able to support mommas and their families in this journey. I can be that quiet mouse in the corner if you need me to be, but I can also be that cheerleader, cheering you on while holding your hand (or counter pressuring!). It's one of the most emotionally rewarding things I've done so far in my life.

Good luck! I hope you find a doula that suits your needs, and that your husband is safe.

elektra1835

Thanks to everyone who responded! I just wanted to come back and say that it did end up hiring a doula and it honestly feels like a burden has been lifted off my shoulders. I was constantly having nightmares that I wouldn't make it to the hospital in time or that I'd get lost, etc. Not anymore, so that makes me think hiring her was the right choice! Thanks again for your feedback! Just keeping my fingers crossed now that all goes well during the birth.