Overbearing MIL

acidbible

I'm starting to seriously think my MIL believes she is my daughter's parent. I mean I've gotten used to the unwanted parenting advice, but now she's demanding that I give her a copy of my daughter's social and birth certificate. I know if I try to simply tell her 'no', it will start an argument. She just stresses me out. Rant over.

studyinpink

Um, no. Why does she need that?

MrsT0514

Ummmmwut? I dont see a reason at all that your MIL would need a copy of your LOs birth certificate and SS.

RondackHiker

acidbible said:

I'm starting to seriously think my MIL believes she is my daughter's parent. I mean I've gotten used to the unwanted parenting advice, but now she's demanding that I give her a copy of my daughter's social and birth certificate. I know if I try to simply tell her 'no', it will start an argument. She just stresses me out. Rant over.

Say no. So what if it starts an argument? Say no and don't you dare let her have it or give in.

Where is your husband in all this?

MrsT0514

LoisLayn23 said:

FIL has the girls' SS #s because he had to have them to start a 529 account for them. But he told us why he needed them.

This is the ONLY reason why my parents have DS's SS#. Even still...they don't have copies of his records. Nor do they need them.

shadypines

Feels like deja vu......

LaurelBee

My Fil is the same way. He will.not.back.down about things. I finally hadto put my foot down and it came to this big head. He ended up CRYING. FFS. He stopped talking to me for a couple weeks, but finally came around when he realized I wasn't going to back down and Dh was on my side... Stay strong mama.

thebanich

OP has 2 posts to her name since May 2013. I call shenanigans. Really boring shenanigans.

Eleventy11

I don't even give the kids social security numbers to their doctors or hospital. I'm certainly not giving them out to my ILs. My parents live next door and know where our safe is. If something happens to DH and I, they will be prepared.

acidbible

I don't know why so many people are bashing me for a rant haha? I don't like starting arguments if I don't have to, so that's why I came to vent here. I appreciate all of the advice, and I really think this is a matter I need to bring my SO in on. He is unaware of the situation, and things may go smoother if he talks to his mother first.  

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acidbible

She hasn't told me why she wants them. And @motherofpearl85 i haven't talked to him about it because it just happened and he's at work right now. I'll speak with him when he gets home.

acidbible

Ok, I used the word "bashing" because I saw several people post that I wasn't coming back, and someone said my post was just shenanigans. I probably made it a much bigger deal than it was but whatever.

thebanich

My apologies.

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acidbible

I guess I just feel bad, because she has done so much to help us out. But there is absolutely no way she's getting any info. She's the type to do something behind my back.

theimpossibleastronaut

acidbible said:

I guess I just feel bad, because she has done so much to help us out. But there is absolutely no way she's getting any info. She's the type to do something behind my back.

This wouldn't be enough for me to hand over this information without a damn good reason.Stick to your guns.

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NoSoup4You

If you don't feel comfortable, then say no.  That's all there is to it.  My ILs are always trying to get a copy of our will.  We don't give it to them.  You can't do anything with a copy anyway, and they just want to know who the guardian is for the kids.  Surprise, it isn't you or else you would know!  The people who need to know how to get to the will know, and those who don't don't.

wiggyslilsis

I can see being uncomfortable sharing that information especially with someone you already don't trust.

FIL requested LO's SS# and when asked why he said so he could set up a bank account for her. I agreed to meet him or his wife at the bank with the number and he refused. He said if we couldn't text him the number then they just won't set up the account.

My mom would be the one to do anything should an emergency arise. She does not have copies of her SS# or BC but knows where to find them should she need to and has a key to our home.

NoSoup4You

HilarityEnsued said:

NoSoup4You said:

If you don't feel comfortable, then say no.  That's all there is to it.  My ILs are always trying to get a copy of our will.  We don't give it to them.  You can't do anything with a copy anyway, and they just want to know who the guardian is for the kids.  Surprise, it isn't you or else you would know!  The people who need to know how to get to the will know, and those who don't don't.

This is not known information in the family? @nosoup4you

It's never been discussed with DH's parents.  They assume they know who it is, and they are correct.  They're very hurt by what they assume is the decision and won't engage in an adult conversation about it.  Therefore, they just try to get a copy of our will to confirm our decision.

We've had a lot of battles over the route we're taking with religion with our kids, and sadly it has caused a major rift.

ToastieSimons

Is she taking out a life insurance policy on her?  I know there are Gerber grow up plans and what not that grandparents can purchase for the child.

Also, if she plans to buy her a bond she may need the SSN.  There could be real reasons.

tattooedtragedy

Hell no. There's no reason for anyone other than your H to have that info. To cheer you up: my MIL lives with me.

STUCK IN THE BOX!!!  you have all my sorries

randomsalpal

I deal with the same personality with my own mom, so I'm feeling ya there. Let her throw a tantrum, she'll find something else to rant about when she realizes that she won't get her way. I have found that I can't do anything about the way my mom is, I just drink when she around instead.