$#*($#@#&%

tig594

So, I've been talking to BD a little over the last couple weeks.  He really wants to get back together but I told him no, that is not happening any time soon.  I also told him if he dares fight the current child support order he won't see DD until the court threatens to throw me in jail for not letting him see her.  That's mostly the truth, as I feel if he doesn't feel the need to support her financially I don't feel he should have the right to see her.  His attorney told me they were going to challenge the order put in place in January that is effective starting Aug. 2013.  They want it to start the day the judge ordered it.  Pretty fucked up since I filed in March 2013 when she was born.  So, I told him a) it's not worth the money to pay the attorney's to fight it, b) it's a measly $2400 in support, c) if he is so gung ho about wanting to support his family and all that shit he spews then this shouldn't be a problem, right?  I guess it IS a problem if we aren't together and he isn't getting what he wants.  And I guarantee the next thing they will file for is his support being waived for the 4-5 months he's been sitting in jail.  So, we might see some child support by the time DD's about 18 months or so?

Well, this morning my attorney that apparently isn't fired yet (I did send that e-mail last week) sends me an e-mail saying he got the paperwork saying they are challenging the order.  Not surprising, really, but still pisses me off.  Next time BD calls he's getting an earful before I hang up on him.  If they don't withdraw the order he won't see her until they make me let him see her.  I'm also seriously considering moving 1-2 hours away to make it less convenient for him to see her and stalk us when he gets out of jail.  I'm looking at a map right now...  

Fucking dead beat dads. 

jellybean529

What the hell. Really? So basically he is using his nonsupport of his daughter as a way to manipulate you into getting back together with him? I wouldn't blame you for moving a few hours away to make it less convenient for him

tig594

Yep, pretty much.  Jerkhole.

MinnesotaMomma91

I dont blame you for wanting to move your bd is about as special as they get

Gamera3000

What if YOU just decided you weren't going to financially support your kid? She'd starve! How can deadbeat parents claim any real attachment to the kids they're not taking care of?

Low move. That dude sucks.

tig594

I agree.  I recently told him if we depended on him we'd be homeless.  DD would have been placed in foster care by now. 

Unknown

This content has been removed.

tig594

Their objection was adjourned indefinitely.  

I won't be refusing court ordered visitation.  But if he doesn't feel the need to pay child support I don't feel the need to let him see her without a court order.  That probably sounds petty and I really don't mean to be.  Is it being unfair to Aria?  Should I take the high road for her even though he's a dumbass?

MinnesotaMomma91

tig594 said:

Their objection was adjourned indefinitely.  

I won't be refusing court ordered visitation.  But if he doesn't feel the need to pay child support I don't feel the need to let him see her without a court order.  That probably sounds petty and I really don't mean to be.  Is it being unfair to Aria?  Should I take the high road for her even though he's a dumbass?

Im going to say no, but ive told bd no visitation for him till he makes me with a court order. Cause he still refuses to admit to being my bd.

tig594

Yeah, they say they want to see them but I'm sorry...seeing them once every month or three isn't developing a healthy relationship with your child.  I think people don't realize we're trying to protect our kids emotionally from dad's like that.  Here today, gone tomorrow.  No thanks. 

Unknown

This content has been removed.

Gamera3000

I'm still on the fence with this for myself. Part of me wants to say BD can see Thor IF my ex and I are present, at our house, IF he is sober and not in withdrawal, and if he is alone. And then at our convenience.

Another part of me feels like that's opening the door for him to show up at our house messed up acting like its my fault for not letting him see Thor. As it is he shouldn't have any legal rights since I'm still married to my ex, but he could smarten up and get a DNA test.

MinnesotaMomma91

Gamera3000 said:

I'm still on the fence with this for myself. Part of me wants to say BD can see Thor IF my ex and I are present, at our house, IF he is sober and not in withdrawal, and if he is alone. And then at our convenience.

Another part of me feels like that's opening the door for him to show up at our house messed up acting like its my fault for not letting him see Thor. As it is he shouldn't have any legal rights since I'm still married to my ex, but he could smarten up and get a DNA test.

Since your still married to your ex up until he takes a blood test Thor is in the eyes of the court your exes son.

I know this because i was married to another man when i knocked up so bd has to be the legal gaurdian in my living will so xh wouldbt get ds

tig594

MinnesotaMomma91 said:

I'm still on the fence with this for myself. Part of me wants to say BD can see Thor IF my ex and I are present, at our house, IF he is sober and not in withdrawal, and if he is alone. And then at our convenience. Another part of me feels like that's opening the door for him to show up at our house messed up acting like its my fault for not letting him see Thor. 

This this this!

Unknown

This content has been removed.

tig594

I will always doubt his sobriety.  But there is no doubt in this world that DD is his and we both know it.  He's already signed off as her father.  Unless you were talking to Roxalot....  : )

20thirteen

Lol, my BD's sobriety is mostly dependent on his drinking. Not so much drugs. I think you meant to say gamera LOL

Unknown

This content has been removed.

MinnesotaMomma91

There is no denying my sob belongs to bd. Lol my xh was half salvadorian and looked it. Bentley looks like a dark haired version of his older brother

Gamera3000

I talked to my ex about this today and we decided together to do nothing until we SEE the birth cert saying my ex is Thor's father, then if we hear from BD well do scenario A where he can have observed visitation. My ex said he wanted BD to take a Walgreens drug test before visiting to put our minds at rest. If he wants to do legal DNA stuff he can go ahead. I don't think he would do better with a judge than with our rules.

tig594

Talked to BD last night when he called.  He swears his attorney withdrew the objection and that he has a copy of it.  Said he'd send it to me.  Hope he does since my attorney is slower than a heard of snails traveling through peanut butter.

MinnesotaMomma91

Your attorney sucks!