Daycare Guilt

trojas

Hello everyone!

Here's my situation. 

We currently have a good rhythm with regards to my LO's care. My husband watches him in the morning (he works at 2), my mom has him in the afternoon, and I have him in the evenings. 

Thing is...I got on the wait list while I was pregnant for the daycare/learning center at my job b/c I wasn't sure if my mom was going to help me with the baby. 

So they called me last week and they have an opening to start next month. I don't really have the need for it at this time, but on the other hand, I feel that he would really benefit (socially and intellectually) from it. 

I need advice. 

Can it wait? Is he too little? (I know he isn't per se b/c babies go in as little as 6 weeks, but you know what I mean)

What would you do? 

I feel guilty that I can hold off, but again, I feel that he would flourish if he does go. =(

This is hard.

divajackie67

We have free daycare named Grandma and I also considered regular daycare for socialization and education as well. However I also thought about all the fact I never went to daycare and didn't start school until I was 4 and I'm a social butterfly at work. I never had trouble in school and I talk a lot. It is my personality that makes me who I am not the amount of socialization I received when I was 2 years old. 

I changed my mind and thought I can start him in Gymboree its WAY cheaper than daycare, once a week, and we can enjoy it together.

I am not against daycare at all. I think it's great, but why pay for something we don't need. 

EMOmamma

My kids love DC. I don't love the cost but it's right for us.
Does it have to be all or nothing? Can you do part time? (I recommend all the days together if you do, like M-Tu-W at DC, Th-F at home).
If you do try the DC give it at least a month for adjustment.

trojas

@theresat858 thank you. I needed to hear that.

cedenton

Can you do part time daycare to give everyone a break and give him a little socialization?

aibrean

Mine absolutely loves daycare. If you transition slowly it might help. We actually pay for three days and have her only attend two (it's literally cheaper than other daycare's 2-day options). We have that third day as a flex. It's available if we want it. Sometimes my husband put her in so he can get stuff done around the house or I do if I have a ton of work that I can't do if I'm watching her. We work it out so my husband has her Monday, I have her Wednesday, and my mom has her Thursday. She gets a variety of play and learning time with everyone. 

skibunny59

Honestly, if you have a good system going now I would just stick with it.  My mom watches DD 4 days a week and my MIL one day and I love it.  I really prefer that she is with family while she's little.

hollygb22

I guess it would depend on your financial situation.

Our 15 month old is in daycare. I cried, looked for any possible alternative when it was time for her to go etc...but now, 9 months later, I absolutely love it and I think even if a friend or relative offered to watch her for free, I wouldn't pull her out. It took me a while to admit, but they are just able to do so much more with her than I could at home, than my mom could do etc. She's at a smaller center with 4 other kids in her class very similiar in age. I love to see her interact with them and socialize, I like the structure of their curriculum, and love all the different activities they do...yesterday they had a local farm come in with baby chicks and all the different eggs that the different farm animals have..stuff like that.

i feel like daycare sort of gets a bad rap..so I just wanted to highlight how positive it's been for us!

SunAndRain

I would encourage you to try it for a few months. My DD started daycare at 5 months. Now she is 19 months and she is truly flourishing! They teach her life skills I'd never have known she was capable of. She has her little friends there and they all shout her name and greet her when she shoes up. She is so happy there and I strongly believe that she is getting a strong foundation for school and life in general.  All the time we spend with her is quality and she gets so much live and attention. I really think that for a toddler, she has it made!

TMWarren85

Both of my kids have been in a daycare setting from three months, my husband and I both work full times and our close family doesn't have the ability to watch the kids so I can't comment on what that option is like or how it compares. 

But I will say that I love our school and what it has done for our kids. My DD is 4.5 and has been at the current Montessori since she was 2.5 and has flourished. I know that age is a bit different than your child, but I wanted to throw that in there- they do 'work' quite a bit, most of the kids in her class read, write and do addition and subtraction. And while a lot of people knock on kids working at a young age- it's not work for her, she LOVES it. We still play princess and dress up at home, but she also wants to read and do math activities. 

My son is 1 and being in a group setting with other kids helps him learn how to act through modeling behavior. On the flip side, being one of 5 kids in the class (to two teachers) he sees that he has to learn to play by himself sometimes, and self soothe at times. I am not making a blankets statement that children who stay with family are less likely to self soothe, but I do notice when my children stay with grandma for a few says they come home pretty spoiled getting anything and everything they want. School teaches them that it's not all about them 100% of the time. 

You have to make what decision is best for your family- if I could keep the money I spend on daycare annually I could have a new car every year (or more in their college funds- just making a point) but that's not a choice for us, so we embrace it. 

And regardless of your choice there will always be what-if's-   what if I sent him to school or what if I would have let him stay home longer. Just a hard part about being a parent. Good luck in your choice.

sunnyday016

Both of my kids have been in part time day care since they were 6 weeks old. They have really thrived there. I feel very good about their care and know they are both learning a lot. DD is completely ready for kindergarten (will start in the fall) and DS is right on track in every way. Of course, these things can happen outside of the day care environment, but we've had nothing but a positive experience.