Does anyone else feel this way? Having a terrifying birth experience, a sick baby and a NICU stay is traumatic. I feel like I just can't connect with a lot of moms. I hate swapping birth stories. Mine was scary and sad. I was literally raced into surgery and put under general anesthesia. It's hard for me to understand how another mom was upset for days because her birth plan didn't go exactly as planned and she had to take some medication instead of having a natural birth. I was out and not even present for the birth of my babies. When moms talk about how they MUST have a home birth, I cringe thinking about all the things that could go wrong and how I would've lost both of my babies if I had a home birth (given I was full term). Preemie moms fears are different from "normal" moms. We have had kids fighting for their lives. I've also experienced losing a child. I don't know what it's like to bring a newborn home or immediately hold my baby and bond. Childbirth was not a beautiful or magical experience for me. I'm not "being crazy" for fearing my baby might get sick. They don't understand that it's different for a preemie to get sick. I just hate feeling so isolated. Does anyone feel like this and/or found a solution?
2 year TTC journey with successful IVF in Nov 2012- B/G Twins!
Baby Boy diagnosed with omphalocele and diaphragmatic hernia
Born at 32 weeks due to PROM. Emergency c-section due to prolapsed cord.
Said Goodbye to our sweet Bennett after 5 short hours.
Re: Difficulty connecting with other moms?
I'm not new. I just hate The Bump.
My mom tries to understand but it's impossible when your on the outside. Which makes me wonder are we on the outside of normal or are they on the outside of our experiences?
To the hospital whenever she wants... Thank goodness there are places like this where we can feel normal and justified in our emotions..
DD is 20 months and I have started to be able to lose some of that isolated feeling. I'm still not where I want to be in regards to how I interact with my friends who made it full term, but I can actually handle being around them for more than a few minutes now, so that's a plus. The further away we get from DD's traumatic entrance into the world, and the more we learn to manage her SPD the easier it gets.
After having IF issues and getting pg on our second IVF, losing a twin, having horrible morning sickness that just bled into preeclampsia and eventually HELLP, emergency c section, mag, nine weeks in the NICU, I still feel some resentment. I got the comments like "at least you didn't have to feel miserable in the middle of the summer" or "at least you got to avoid contractions/labor" and smile and weakly agree, but each one stabs my heart a little.
My lifesavers were a couple colleagues who had preemies and walked me through the journey...still are helpful when talking about actual/adjusted age and milestones.