Let me clear the air......

Abenedict2011

First off,  tonight is the first time I've ever seen the "abenedict2011...how long will you ignore us??" thread. I am impressed that you all had a 7 page long thread about me and I never even knew it!  Tonight is the first night I've EVER used the website version of The Bump, and we all know that mobile can be a bit tricky.

I will NOT apologize to anyone to sticking up for another lady on this forum when a certain few of you decide that its okay to gang up on people.

I will NOT apologize for posting my feelings and then choosing not to continue with the thread. It's my decision.

I will apologize for using a curse word, but looking at some of your posts the word I used was mild compared to some of the profanity I have seen.

It may displease some of you that I chose not to add a profile picture, provide a more detailed information about myself, or am always perfect with my grammer (again I use a smart phone and don't always see the auto correct!) Guess what? That's my decision to make; not yours!  I have been an active member since October when I was only 5 weeks pregnant, so don't accuse me of being a lurker!

I will not let a handful of you angry ladies bully me off the The Bump. I have looked back and see I am not the first that you have done it to, and I'm sure I will not be the last.  I will stay on this thread and continue to support all of the ladies on here as I see appropriate.

Thank you also to all the ladies out there who have supported myself and the other ladies of The Bump.

LindsayDesigner

I'm confused as to why you "don't see" the corrections your smart phone makes on your behalf. It seems like it's not the only thing you choose to ignore.

Finally, please look up the definition of bullying. PLEASE!

Abenedict2011

You don't have to like my response, but you asked for one, so you got it.
I'm not going anywhere, so take it or leave it. If you don't like what I have to say then just don't respond. I'm more than happy to communicate with ladies on here who do want to interact with me!

Read247

What I heard was:

Go back and read the original thread from the beginning. You are defending the wrong person. She was whining about "annoying" pregnancy symptoms when we had multiple women on the board just lose their babies. We explained this to her AND gave her links and she didn't give a shit. She got what she gave.

https://forums.thebump.com/discussion/12244822/abdominal-pain-round-ligament-pain-anyone

obscurereference

Oh this is going to be great. I can't wait to see how this plays out over the next weeks.

Abenedict2011

@Twoturtles0014: Thank you. I can't be the only one on this board who feels this way.

bebemac

I can't wait to see more conversations with you and all your AEs.

Abenedict2011

Accusing me of "not spending time on here" is inaccurate. I'm on the board almost daily and interact almost just as often. Just because I don't agree with everyone all the time doesn't make me a lurker.

Also when I called out the "bitches" I was specifically talking about the handful of those who were picking on that poor girl. Yes there were a lot of losses that week which is sad, but it doesn't mean everyone else didn't have the right to post about what they were feeling.

Pepper6

I mobile bump a lot too and I still get my tags. I find it extremely hard to believe that you didn't get a single one of the tags in the 7 page thread, let alone any of the tags from every single post you've posted on since.

It's your prerogative to continue posting, but you get what you give in this community. Since all you've given thus far, and it seems that you've indicated all you're willing to keep giving, is defensive and negative comments, don't be surprised when that's what you continue to get in return.

ElTrain5

Abenedict2011 said:

@Twoturtles0014: Thank you. I can't be the only one on this board who feels this way.

Oh don't worry, you're not. There's actually been a few people who made insensitive comments while people were experiencing loss, or defended those who did. You're just one of the only ones who stuck around. So great, you're "here to stay". Lucky us. Just do everyone a favor, next time you decide to call a group of people on this board "bitches", try not to do it in defense of someone doing something as insensitive as bragging about her moving baby when someone literally just lost theirs. That'd be sweet of you. Thanks.

jshrop

Read247

"This board is full of women who speak up when needed. It's full of women who are grieving for the losses that other women have experienced. It's full of women who have had a serious dose of reality in the past few weeks, who are having a hard time responding on ANY thread, much less one started by someone they don't know complaining about their "annoying" symptoms. This board is full of truly amazing women."

To quote the woman going through a loss when the original drama went down. This was her response to YOU. Funny how she defends a bunch of bitches, huh? We must be truly awful for her to come back (in her time of grief) and speak up on our behalf.

chickpea912

BrightEyes112 said:

 @chickpea (crap dont know her numbers) you are sooooo unsupportive and mean!! They know I am kidding because they have spent time getting to know me and hanging around. I suggest you do the same before insulting a group of people you know nothing about.

I see how it is, @BrightEyes112 - I guess I won't be getting any birthday cards from YOU this year (hint to the mystery numbers - I expect you will now diligently mark all the appropriate calendars and shower me with love at the appropriate time)

To @abenedict2011 (I really hope I got the spelling and numbers right - how embarassing would that be after I "yelled" at BE): I am normally super great at looking at both sides of a situation, weighing both points of views, and trying to figure out where everyone stands, often giving the benefit of the doubt where others have not.  I simply have a hard time here.  Do I applaud your wanting to stand up for an underdog, sure - that's kind of my "thing" - but here is the problem.  One - you conveniently ignored that in the post in which you called this a site "full of a bunch of bitches" that it wasn't PURELY a bunch of snarky girls descending on a newbie like sharks scenting blood.  It wasn't just that their comments made were made with a backdrop of loss and grief and sadness for others - surely THAT should be a consideration.  But no... THAT was when you called the site a bunch of bitches.  You didn't call out anyone specifically, you gave that label to the entire board.  

Which brings me to two - why in the world would you continue to post here if that is truly how you felt?  I'll ignore the fact that you apparently frequently missed the thread - with your sn in the title - requesting your attention - why would you want to be here?  Why continue to post?  I just don't understand.

But... as BE said - I'm the mean, unsupportive one.  So clearly I am one of that "bunch of bitches."  So thanks for sticking around.  You certainly are allowed to do so, I just don't know why you would want to if you find us so distasteful.

Sareynoo

Hey is this the busy executive? Or am I thinking of the wrong person? How did she find the time to type all of that?

Sareynoo

Noooope, should have checked before replying.

ElTrain5

@sareynoo. Geez Louise, keep your trolls straight! the busy exec was the pot smoker who reported us to the FBI. She's probably still queued up at the DMV trying to get copies of our drivers licenses or something.

Sareynoo

Merie412 said:

Sareynoo said:

Hey is this the busy executive? Or am I thinking of the wrong person? How did she find the time to type all of that?

No, no, @sareynoo. This one is different. The busy exec dropped off the face of the planet after she called the ISS or the FBI, or the NBA or whatever she called on us that night. 

Haha she definitely is the most memorable..

katekat8721

Bitches be crazy.

ElTrain5

Oh and I think OP even tried to sneak in a cut at me with her little "I know I piss people off not having a profile pic" line. That must be referencing my post asking people to add avatars so that we could get to know each other better. Man, what a cold hearted bitch I am! Wanting to get to know other women and keep them engaged in conversation. Seriously. How do I sleep at night? Oh yeah, unisom. Works like a CHARM I tell ya.

ElTrain5

BrightEyes112 said:

My plan for tomorrow is to walk into a knitting club, sit down, and call them all a bunch of bitches. I will then sit down and knit a whole blanket and ignore all the confused and outraged comments. When I am done I will tell them all I am sorry, but not really, and then knit a hat.

Just woke up DH and my dog laughing so hard. I you @brighteyes112

JNerd

I think it is pretty clear (and has been for a looonnngggg while) that this is a board where we stick up for our own.
I cannot count the threads that have insane amounts of support in them for anxiety about appointments, news about test results, personal triumphs, and personal tragedies.
We celebrate and support each other here. There is still a lot to find out, and many new faces we welcome with open arms.
But- and please let me be very clear- do not expect us to forget you or move on. We will know what you post and your posts will be met with the same responses -if we are all bitches (until we receive an apology) WHY ARE YOU STILL HERE?

What makes you think that you are so special and amazing that you can insult us and think that we will just forget and move on? TB never forgets.

And you will not be greeted warmly or with open arms anywhere here until you take steps to remedy your relationship. Ignoring it will not help.

For those members that are active- we love and support each other. We toast their triumphs, cry for their pain. If you want ANY part of that you really need to think about how you have contributed.

chickpea912

@JNerd I feel like I'm being all redundant because I basically say this like every other day, but...

Thank you for saying what I was trying to say, just better.

JNerd

chickpea912 said:

@JNerd I feel like I'm being all redundant because I basically say this like every other day, but...

Thank you for saying what I was trying to say, just better.

Any Sherlock gif has a special place in my heart @chickpea912

chickpea912

@JNerd

cMichelle0423

@Abenedict2011 seriously... qfp. No one gives two shits about your bull shit half apology. The only key thing you're apologizing for is "cussing", which no one's even cares about. All I see you doing is complaining about how bad this forum is, so why are you on it? I mean, if we're all a bunch of bitches and bullies why stick around?

And just so we're clear, no one bitched at you for posting about your feelings. The only issue anyone had was the fact that it was really inconsiderate of you to complain about having a healthy pregnancy with "annoying symptoms" while there were a handful of women who we're going through losses and unfortunate news. That'd be like going to a funeral of someone who lost their mother, and complaining about how your mom annoyed you. Second of all, in case your head is too far up your ass to realize, we are all very supportive of each other. Which means we stick up for each other when needed. A good example of that is with your post. Anyone bitching at you for it, was sticking up for those who were dealing with the losses and bad news.

I think i speak for a lot of women here when I say, take your bull shit apologies, and shove them up your ass. We can't stop you from lurking and posting, but you are NOT welcome here.

chickpea912

cMichelle0423 said:

@Abenedict2011 seriously... qfp. No one gives two shits about your bull shit half apology. The only key thing you're apologizing for is "cussing", which no one's even cares about. All I see you doing is complaining about how bad this forum is, so why are you on it? I mean, if we're all a bunch of bitches and bullies why stick around? And just so we're clear, no one bitched at you for posting about your feelings. The only issue anyone had was the fact that it was really inconsiderate of you to complain about having a healthy pregnancy with "annoying symptoms" while there were a handful of women who we're going through losses and unfortunate news. That'd be like going to a funeral of someone who lost their mother, and complaining about how your mom annoyed you. Second of all, in case your head is too far up your ass to realize, we are all very supportive of each other. Which means we stick up for each other when needed. A good example of that is with your post. Anyone bitching at you for it, was sticking up for those who were dealing with the losses and bad news. I think i speak for a lot of women here when I say, take your bull shit apologies, and shove them up your ass. We can't stop you from lurking and posting, but you are NOT welcome here.

@cMichelle0423  I really respect what you're trying to do here, and I appreciate you sticking up for the others.  But I just need to point out two things - just cuz. 

qfp = quoting for posterity - you do this when you quote the OP's actual words, in case they go back to delete their post.  That's why you'll see people quote and then just write QFP - they're making sure those words are recorded for all to see in case the OP goes BSC and deletes everything.  

Also - in the original thread, abenedict wasn't the original poster -she was a white knight, swooping in to save the day.

That's all, just thought I'd clarify  

LEO2010

When I was a new new noob- I thought QFP meant "quit fucking posting" and when I learned what it really meant I was kind of disappointed...because it usually applies to the situation beautifully!

chickpea912

LEO2010 said:

When I was a new new noob- I thought QFP meant "quit fucking posting" and when I learned what it really meant I was kind of disappointed...because it usually applies to the situation beautifully!

Agree

I also used to think SMH meant "shoot me in the head"... the real thing is a little less dramatic.

brideybridg

Whoops. Im learning alot tonight. QFP and special snowflake doesnt mean what i thought they meant. Everything just got a little bit nicer!

.

Lindsleigh77

Welcome back @abenedict2011

wtfisup

It's fine to say, "I can make this choice." But the responsibility of that is accepting how people react. You can't do whatever you like and also assume there will be approval from everyone.

izzetoot

JNerd said:

I think it is pretty clear (and has been for a looonnngggg while) that this is a board where we stick up for our own. I cannot count the threads that have insane amounts of support in them for anxiety about appointments, news about test results, personal triumphs, and personal tragedies. We celebrate and support each other here. There is still a lot to find out, and many new faces we welcome with open arms. But- and please let me be very clear- do not expect us to forget you or move on. We will know what you post and your posts will be met with the same responses -if we are all bitches (until we receive an apology) WHY ARE YOU STILL HERE? What makes you think that you are so special and amazing that you can insult us and think that we will just forget and move on? TB never forgets. And you will not be greeted warmly or with open arms anywhere here until you take steps to remedy your relationship. Ignoring it will not help. For those members that are active- we love and support each other. We toast their triumphs, cry for their pain. If you want ANY part of that you really need to think about how you have contributed.

diagonalley

Um, good luck with the two people who liked your post that nobody else knows anyway. I bet they will be ss, ya know, super supportive? throughout the rest of your pregnancy and then some. The rest of us will go on pretending you don't exist with the exception of this thread. Good day.

cMichelle0423

chickpea912 said:

cMichelle0423 said:

@Abenedict2011 seriously... qfp. No one gives two shits about your bull shit half apology. The only key thing you're apologizing for is "cussing", which no one's even cares about. All I see you doing is complaining about how bad this forum is, so why are you on it? I mean, if we're all a bunch of bitches and bullies why stick around?

And just so we're clear, no one bitched at you for posting about your feelings. The only issue anyone had was the fact that it was really inconsiderate of you to complain about having a healthy pregnancy with "annoying symptoms" while there were a handful of women who we're going through losses and unfortunate news. That'd be like going to a funeral of someone who lost their mother, and complaining about how your mom annoyed you. Second of all, in case your head is too far up your ass to realize, we are all very supportive of each other. Which means we stick up for each other when needed. A good example of that is with your post. Anyone bitching at you for it, was sticking up for those who were dealing with the losses and bad news.

I think i speak for a lot of women here when I say, take your bull shit apologies, and shove them up your ass. We can't stop you from lurking and posting, but you are NOT welcome here.

@cMichelle0423  I really respect what you're trying to do here, and I appreciate you sticking up for the others.  But I just need to point out two things - just cuz. 

qfp = quoting for posterity - you do this when you quote the OP's actual words, in case they go back to delete their post.  That's why you'll see people quote and then just write QFP - they're making sure those words are recorded for all to see in case the OP goes BSC and deletes everything.  

Also - in the original thread, abenedict wasn't the original poster -she was a white knight, swooping in to save the day.

That's all, just thought I'd clarify  

________________quote fail________________


Lol! Good to know! And I guess I got her mixed up with a one of the other crazies. Either way, she really should quit posting!

colllydon

Well done ladies.

nunzchucks

Oh, you don't need a profile picture to be remembered. No worries.

You know the craziest part? After calling us bitches and this huge non-apology post, if you posted here tomorrow with a request for T&Ps because of a pregnancy complication, every single person you've casually labelled as a bitch would be there for you offering supportive comments.


But you're right, we're the bitchy ones...

chickpea912

cMichelle0423 said:

________________quote fail________________ Lol! Good to know! And I guess I got her mixed up with a one of the other crazies. Either way, she really should quit posting!

@cMichelle0423 I know - we have had our share of interesting visitors lately!

LilNunz1 said:

Oh, you don't need a profile picture to be remembered. No worries.

You know the craziest part? After calling us bitches and this huge non-apology post, if you posted here tomorrow with a request for T&Ps because of a pregnancy complication, every single person you've casually labelled as a bitch would be there for you offering supportive comments.

But you're right, we're the bitchy ones...

@LilNunz1 You know, I hadn't thought about this, but you're absolutely right.  When someone needs support, I don't think I've seen anyone here hesitate at all to give it.  We really are a bunch of terrible people.

kibean

@Abenedict2011 Everyone else has pretty much said what I would have. 

As far as the things I said in that thread:

You are a faceless, nameless, random person who flew in and ignorantly defended someone without taking the time and energy to first read the whole thread. I, personally, have no time for someone like that. But by all means, keep sticking around to stir shit up, since that is obviously what you enjoy! Why else would someone continue to post on a board where 99.9% of people want them to STFU?

Edit because spaces

Sareynoo

krptcmschfmkr128 said:

And of course, she never came back.

I didn't really expect her to.. I forsee @abenedict2011 starting another pointless thread in a week though.

flerlgirl

It is too flipping early in the morning for this. 

ElTrain5

krptcmschfmkr128 said:

And of course, she never came back.

It's because she "never sees her tags" and somehow misses threads about herself on the front page for a week. Duh.