A little rant...

Sliptak

I don't understand why people who aren't in the right situation/lifestyle get pregnant so easily and then it's so hard for people who are actually trying.

I know I shouldn't judge anyone but I see people posting pregnancies on Facebookall the time. One girl I 19, a gogo dancer and her boyfriend is a cheating DJ. Another girl had a baby four years ago but she can't take care of him so he lives with her dad and she just got ku again.

It just irks me, I waited for marriage and a house and for savings. Now we're ready and we have to wait longer?!

Sigh...I'm sorry for the negative vibes, just had to get that out.

Ducktale

It's not like they're butting in line. There is no line. Their fertility has no bearing on yours.

Sliptak

No...Omg no I didn't mean to offend anyone at all. I'm so sorry if I did. I'm not saying the way I did it is the only way to go. I also have friends who are wonderful mothers and have beautiful children and they had babies at a young age and all that.
I'm just feeling bitter.

Sliptak

@ducktale you're absolutely right. Thanks for that

nopegoat

I got KU when I was 21 and in college. We were not trying and definitely didn't have things together. I was terrified but we knew that our baby had to come first. We immediately started getting our priorities in line. I graduated college and my H got an amazing job that was able to grant us some financial stability. When my first turned one we were well off enough that we started TTC for #2. It took us 8mos. It sucked. I was bitter and confused as to why we weren't getting pregnant immediately after we finally took the steps to be prepared for this one. It's hard to look around and seeing everyone doing/having what you want, especially when its not happening for you yet. I get it. 

I also get jealous of my bff sometimes who did wait to have a kid after she was out of school, had a house, married, ect. But the grass isn't always greener on the other side.  

I think I get more upset when people that aren't in great situations have kids and don't do anything to try and better their lives for their kids. But who am I to judge. 

Sliptak

kdm06c said:

I think I get more upset when people that aren't in great situations have kids and don't do anything to try and better their lives for their kids. But who am I to judge. 

this! That's what I meant to say. Thank you for sharing your story with me. It honestly brought tears to my eyes.

Wine&Cupcakes

I think it's frustrating for sure, but that's the way the cookie crumbles.

It's hard for me to see that stupid Teen Mom star Jenelle who doesn't have custody of her first kid, aborted one, lost another, and is now pregnant again - who just openly admitted to smoking pot while pregnant. For me, that's what makes me angry. Don't have a kid if you can't put it first.

That being said, being a young go-go dancer, unemployed, in an unstable relationship, etc. doesn't make you an automatic bad parent, nor does suffering from infertility but being totally secure financially and emotionally make you an automatic good parent. I think the PP gave good advice when she said to focus on the fact that your fertility and theirs are independent of one another.

Edited for clarity.

Sliptak

Oh yes jenelle DEFINITELY pushes my buttons.
Thank you for your words of encouragement. I'm so glad I joined this community you ladies are so supportive

annibes

I know it's hard to wait, but 2 months is hardly a long one. There are women who have waited for years.

annibes

And trust me, I sympathize with your original post. It is depressing to see how easy it is for everyone around you.

normandyn7

I can understand where you are coming from. We weren't trying for our son when I got pregnant so I don't know what it's like or what some women have to go through just to get pregnant. I can understand that it would be so frustrating. Especially when you see how other women get pregnant so easily. But like stated above, it's not their fault. My friend who has been "trying" to get pregnant went on a rant on facebook about how all her friends don't even have to try and they all get pregnant (me and 3 of our friends all had babies in the past 2 years). It really pissed me off. It's like I'm sorry you and your husband are having a hard time, but it's not my fault that I didn't have to "try" to have a baby. But yeah, I've known a ton of couples who would give anything to have a baby and their are people out there that just throw their kids out.

Sliptak

That's why I put my rant here instead of Facebook because even though I feel this way I know it's not their fault and my feelings are irrational so I wouldn't want to hurt any of their feelings.

@annibes I know I haven't been waiting long at all....but after lurking and reading information about TTC on other websites I just realized I may be waiting for a long timetoo...I didn't realize healthy couples can take up to a year!

Luckily my DH is supportive of the struggle and made me smile by reminding me, a bfn means another month of having fun trying!