Depression/Anxiety Check-In

notthecheat

How are we? Hope you are all staying safe in this weather!

aundrea1225

Still waiting to talk to someone about my PPD, I keep putting it off because I think they'll think I'm ridiculous. I feel pretty lowly about myself lately. But DH has been in a better mood so that helps.

MissyC979

I'm still not doing too well. I'm less irritable this week, but I'm now pretty depressed. I've cried almost every night this week about going back to work in three weeks. This is my second time, but it's no easier now. I feel like I'm falling apart some days.

azmama20

Nrg2020 said:

Missy I'm sorry to hear youre having a hard time. I'm afraid I'll be a mess leading up to returning to work. I'm just going to keep telling myself I can give so much more to lo by having two incomes instead of being a sahm. On a side note I want to have a cocktail but I've been taking Zoloft. Anyone know how "bad" would it be to have a drink while taking this med?

I'm on Zoloft and have had a drink here and there.

azmama20

Also going to check in this week. It's still been an uphill battle. DH starts his new job Monday and I'm terrified of being alone. I have family close by, but it's still not the same as spending time with him. Also LO has been semi cranky due to 2 month vaccines and I think she might have a tiny cold. Whatever it is, she isn't feeling well and when she's inconsolable, it stresses me out and upsets me that no matter what I do I can't seem to calm her down.

readyornot12345

I'm struggling. Still not feeling great. Still shaking like adrenaline and my arms burn/tingle and I'm not sleeping much still. Mentally I feel okay just so upset i still feel like garbage physically. I'm getting depressed because I feel sick all the time. Prob from sleep deprivation and anxiety or hormones who knows! Dr and therapist are not recommending pills at this time. I'm gonna go see a naturopath psych next week.

starskit1283

First time checking in. I've been on Zoloft about 2 weeks now and it's helped with the crying that I was doing when LO cries but doesn't help w other anxiety that i randomly get. It's like a nauseous feeling and impending doom and I get really shaky. My dr told me to talk to a counselor and DH thinks it's a good idea so I'll prob give them a call next week and set something up.

utlawgirl

Hangin' in there. We've had a rough couple of weeks, with transitioning DD2 to her crib in her own room (which has gone just fine for her) and DD1's new sleep issues. I'm hoping we have the latter pretty much tackled. She was having a lot of nighttime fears, wanting to sleep with the light on, waking in the middle of the night inconsolable and waking up too early and coming in to our bed (not to sleep, to play). It was a rough few days, but I think we are on the mend now (fingers crossed) due to a lot of special daytime attention and TLC at bedtime (plus a kids' calm supplement that is very likely just having a placebo effect, but whatevs). 

I have been dealing okay, honestly. I came close to meltdown a couple of nights ago when DD2 was wanting to comfort nurse CONSTANTLY and kept waking up after I put her down for the night, and DD1 was having tantrums and yelling at me and DH and just generally being a jerk. Screaming baby + screaming preschooler = no fun. But yesterday was a better day, and today was survivable, and even not too bad. Fridays are my hardest day, since DD1 has off of preschool and I have them both at home with me, alone, all day. But I wasn't all frazzled at the end of the day as I usually am. Small victories! Now both kids are in bed and DH and I are relaxing with a bottle of champagne. Life seems pretty good.

I won't lie, though -- I've had moments in the past week when I wanted to quit. When I regretted ever having kids, or ever having a second kid. Don't get me wrong -- I LOVE my girls more than I ever could have imagined, but this shit's hard sometimes.

I have a call into my therapist for an appointment next week. I haven't been since the week before DD2 was born, and I think it's time to talk some stuff out.

lifesaverz

readyornot12345 said:

I'm struggling. Still not feeling great. Still shaking like adrenaline and my arms burn/tingle and I'm not sleeping much still. Mentally I feel okay just so upset i still feel like garbage physically. I'm getting depressed because I feel sick all the time. Prob from sleep deprivation and anxiety or hormones who knows! Dr and therapist are not recommending pills at this time. I'm gonna go see a naturopath psych next week.

Just wanted to say this sounds exactly like what I went through PP, with the shaking, inability to sleep, anxiety, everything! So just know you're not alone! I know I felt super alone with my symptoms because it seems to be uncommon, they had no idea why my legs felt so shaky all the time or why I couldn't sleep no matter how exhausted I was. It does get better though, I just wish I had known how crazy and out of whack hormones can affect you like that, I had no idea! My dr put me on Ativan to relax everything for a week or so, then I was on a med to help with nerve pain that really helped with the shaking! I'm 10 weeks pp now, off of everything, & barely notice the shaking now, & I'm able to sleep again, I finally feel like my hormones are balancing out! I hope things start balancing quickly for you, I know how hard it is to feel completely out of control of your body.

notthecheat

Sorry to post and run everyone, I was shoveling my driveway this morning. I hit a low on Wednesday night/ Thursday morning when I felt like I haven't seen LO or DH at all after going back to work, and then got snowed in at my patient's house. Luckily, the plow came around early and I was home within a couple of hours. I called out for Thursday night because there was no way my little car was going to make it through the second wave of PAX. I was so so happy to get home safe and spend the day with my loves, it was just what I needed (thx @emilysalley).

I have also had to go back on supplements for energy because i have been completely tanked, so i am a little frustrated with my chronic fatigue acting up again. But all in all not too terrible a week.

notthecheat

aundrea1225 said:

Still waiting to talk to someone about my PPD, I keep putting it off because I think they'll think I'm ridiculous. I feel pretty lowly about myself lately. But DH has been in a better mood so that helps.

If someone thinks you are ridiculous, get your care somewhere else. Unfortunately there are healthcare providers out there who just don't get it, lack empathy, and respond inappropriately to patients with depression. I'd like to think in the professional world, depression/ PPD is recognized enough that you shouldn't have trouble finding someone who can help. Taking that first step is difficult but it is so worth it to find a solution. Best of luck to you, you can do it!

Speaking of which, @cashingn2, were you able to speak with someone else about PPD who wasn't an unprofessional, dismissive nurse? Hope you are OK.

notthecheat

@mrssturm45, I am hoping things are turning around for you

notthecheat

To those returning to work, best of luck to you! My 3rd week back is ending. It was not as hard as I thought at first, but the more I worked, the less I saw of LO and I miss her so much!! I have lots of pictures of her on my phone that I can glance at during work to remind me why I'm there, and it helps a little.

readyornot12345

jordanm24 said:

readyornot12345 said:

I'm struggling. Still not feeling great. Still shaking like adrenaline and my arms burn/tingle and I'm not sleeping much still. Mentally I feel okay just so upset i still feel like garbage physically. I'm getting depressed because I feel sick all the time. Prob from sleep deprivation and anxiety or hormones who knows! Dr and therapist are not recommending pills at this time. I'm gonna go see a naturopath psych next week.

@jordanm24
Just wanted to say this sounds exactly like what I went through PP, with the shaking, inability to sleep, anxiety, everything! So just know you're not alone! I know I felt super alone with my symptoms because it seems to be uncommon, they had no idea why my legs felt so shaky all the time or why I couldn't sleep no matter how exhausted I was. It does get better though, I just wish I had known how crazy and out of whack hormones can affect you like that, I had no idea! My dr put me on Ativan to relax everything for a week or so, then I was on a med to help with nerve pain that really helped with the shaking! I'm 10 weeks pp now, off of everything, & barely notice the shaking now, & I'm able to sleep again, I finally feel like my hormones are balancing out! I hope things start balancing quickly for you, I know how hard it is to feel completely out of control of your body.

@jordanm24
I'm so sorry you went through this too. It's a nightmare! What med did they give you for nerve pain. I'm 8 weeks post partum and this is so tough. Are you breastfeeding or no? I just want my hormones to regulate and to stop feeling like I am dying! I can't take Ativan or drugs like that because 4 years ago I took them and got physically addicted to them in only 10 days and had awful withdrawals getting off them.

lifesaverz

@readyornot12345, the med I was on for nerve pain was 600mg tablets of Horizant, or Gabapentin. Yes I am BFing, & they said it was safe for that, thank goodness. It really did help so much with the internal shaking & tingling I experienced, I think I would've lost my sanity without it! So sorry you're going through that! It's so miserable, I know I never expected my body's hormones could get so effed up after giving birth before. It was hard getting off the Horizant too, but thankfully after a couple weeks of being off it the shaking started decreasing again and now I feel pretty good. Since I was having so many issues they ran a lot of bloodwork for me, & my iron was low which they said could contribute to shaking, so I'm now on a supplement that is prob helping too. Feel free to PM me if you want to talk more!