infertility and social media

ebwhit

soooo I am struggling with something. In the last few months DH and I have "come out" about our infertility and RPL on social media. We felt like it had become such a large part of our lives that it was important to practice more openness with it. It was a really positive experience and several women I know then "came out" to me about their infertility struggle and that is what I was hoping for. I think this dialogue is really important.

tomorrow we are facing the first big date since we did that, the first anniversary of our first due date. Dates are always big right? but do I do something? do I say something? my heart says yes but I do have some apprehension about...people's reactions I guess? I don't ever want to come off as needy or making a mountain out of a molehill (in some people's minds) and really when is and when isn't the right time for this stuff? 

It feels wrong to ignore it. but do I really need to be public? I just don't know- I'm super conflicted. Thoughts?

Rachaeleigh

It seems like you maybe want to be private, or don't necessarily think you need to post about it, but are torn bc you've been so open about your process?

I don't think you necessarily need to post about if you don't want, its ok. You get to decide how much and when you share...and you don't always have to be consistent in that.

Does that make sense or did I just talk in circles?

jaztastic

This is tough. On one hand you want to heal and move on and not come off like you want people to pitty you...but on the other hand you want to acknowledge the situation and let your true emotions and feelings be heard. when I feel this way about something, on a Facebook I put it in a Note. It's a way for you to express yourself and give tribute to whatever the situation, without it being as in your face as a status. The note will show up in your timeline, but as an article people can choose or not choose to open and read details. Hopefully this helps

katib77

Dp what you feel, for my first mc due date I went and took photos to remember the world is a beautiful place, even on a day. was filled with sadness. Then I posted them and 'came out' about my loss because like IF it is a part ofy life.
But, its personal if you don't want to post, simply don't. Don't feel a need.

rox825

It's really up to you, but it's certainly not necessary to share anything with anyone. No one has a "right" to know how you're feeling or what you're doing to acknowledge the date, or even that it is a significant date, and if you don't want to share it doesn't mean that you're ignoring it. When my EDD rolls around I personally don't plan on acknowledging it to anyone except for H, because I want to have the space to cope how I need to without interference from others. And, like a PP mentioned, you can't control how other people will react on social media and people who haven't been through a loss (and/or IF) obviously can't understand what it's like, which could lead to them inadvertently saying or posting something hurtful that they genuinely think sounds great and supportive, without even realizing it. Just something to keep in mind. If you do acknowledge it, I hope that you get the support that you need.

ebwhit

Thanks for all your thoughtful responses ladies. sorry it took ME so long to respond. I ended up not saying or doing anything but your replies were helpful in helping me sort it out in my brain!

jaztastic

And that is perfectly fine! I'm glad you got through this okay.