What makes Child Services get involved?

AlbertaGrayGirl

Hi all,

I am not sure that this is the right place for this post, so if not then let me know. Just for reference, this situation is happening in Alberta.

My sister had a baby last Christmas, so he is coming up on 14 months. She is living off of the child support and child tax benefit, which is barely enough to cover her rent. Various people from our family have been giving her money to try and get her a foothold to become more self-supportive but that money just seems to disappear. We are now finding out from my other sister, who was living with her, that she is doing cocaine and MDMA, and that her boyfriend is her drug dealer. She doesn't have a vehicle and her phone just got cut off because she wasn't paying that bill. So if something happened where my nephew needed to get emergency care, she would have no way to help him. Our grandparents end up taking my nephew quite often, because my sister says she is too tired to handle him. And, this time when they took him, they changed his diaper and he has open sores. I don't want to assume anything, especially since my knowledge and experience is very very limited. 

My question is this: at what point would a government agency become concerned enough to take action? Does the child need to be abused or neglected (ie. not fed) or would they take the mother's situation into consideration at all?

Dr.Loretta

From what I've seen, it's when someone makes a report. I would be doing so at this point, just to get help for everyone involved

Cmartin6706

When someone calls the CPS (Child Protective Services) hotline the person answering is trained to run through a procedure that helps him/her decide to take the report or not. I would bet money based on what you are telling us here that CPS would take that report. Once that happens CPS gets the information and has X number of days to follow-up: interviews, going to the home etc. The call is anonymous and you'll need to address, names of the parents and the child (if possible) as well as as much identifying information that you know: race, age, birthday etc. 

Honestly, when I think about having to call CPS, I decide based on the answer to one question: How would I feel if I didn't call and I read something terrible about this child in the newspaper? If it's not neglect/abuse then the report won't be taken. I would definitely call and just tell them what you know whether it's 3rd source or not.

At a minimum it won't hurt for someone to go out to check on things. That's just me though. There are others that believe that CPS should be called as the very, very last resort, but I disagree especially based on what you are saying here.  

Chris 

AlbertaGrayGirl

That's exactly what I can't get out of my head. I love my nephew more than anything and I can't stand the thought of him not having the life he deserves. It would be devastating if he were to be hurt or worse.

Ihope

This is exactly a situation CPS would get involved. Open sores definitely. As far as the drug use, they will take that if child is born with positive toxicology which this does not seem to be the case. Otherwise they will take the case if your sister uses or is under the influence while being. The sole caretaker for your nephew, or if the drugs are within easy reach of your nephew.

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AlbertaGrayGirl

I spoke with a lady from CS, and she confirmed that drug use is a concern. But, without the first hand witness (my youngest sister) coming forward, and without evidence that she is doing drugs around her son, or keeping them in her home, there isn't much of a case. My youngest sister is so far not willing to give a statement directly to the agency.

Ihope

Try to talk to your sister about making a report. It would be anonymous. Not reporting is not going to help your other sister and certainly won't help the baby. The consequences of not reporting can be traumatizing and cause all sorts of issues and at times can be very tragic

AlbertaGrayGirl

I mentioned all of that to her, but she lives in another province so there is very little influence that I can have on her. I gave her the name and number, to make it easier to follow an impulse if she has one. I am often frustrated that I cannot just make people understand what they should do and make them do it.

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AlbertaGrayGirl

From what I understand (which really isn't much - I guess I am quite sheltered), the traces of cocaine would leave someones body too soon to be caught on a random test. She did say that they can look into the name that I provided for the boyfriend to confirm if he is a known drug dealer. But again, she can do drugs if she wants to so long as she isn't doing them at home or when her son is in her care.

Dr.Loretta

Can your grandparents make a report from what they see of your nephew?

AlbertaGrayGirl

They could, and I asked them to. But, so far they don't seem to think it is necessary.

My grandparents finally got my sister to take her son in to the doctor for an appointment. He said that the open sores are likely caused from the diaper being wet. Does that mean that she isn't changing him enough? Will a doctor make a call to Child Services if he becomes aware of things like this happening?

And, to top it all off, I found out last night that my sister got pregnant again with her drug dealer boyfriend, and got an abortion.

Stop reading here if want to avoid useless ranting.

Why is it that she is as fertile as a rabbit, and doesn't even seem to value the gift of her son. But, my husband and I have spent time, money, and energy fighting to have the same thing? The whole situation just seems to unfair. And, I don't seem to have any control over any of it. I just have to ride the wave. I just want to do what's best for my nephew, and hopefully salvage any part of my relationship with my sister in the aftermath.

IdigDirt

I can't believe they won't even go and check it out and I am sorry you have to deal with knowing she doesn't appreciate the children she had while you are struggling ((hugs))

hey_its_jenn

Nothing more to add but ((HUGS)) for you @AlbertaGrayGirl

AlbertaGrayGirl

Update:

A few weeks ago, my sister called my husband and I from the city half and hour away from where we live. Her boyfriend had kicked her out in the cold, with no way home (she lives in another town fifteen minutes from the city), and without even a good jacket. Her phone battery was dying, but we managed to find her and get her home. Luckily, my nephew was staying with my grandparents at the time.

She decided that she was done with him. But, he kept making promises, like he is going to give her a car and help with her rent. And, now they are back together. She is planning on moving in with him when her lease expires. She went up to Edmonton (5 hours away) to stay with him while he takes some courses for the oil rigs. Last night, she called down to my grandparents because he had kicked her and her son out in a strange city at 11 at night! Her phone died, but they were able to find the hotel she had been staying at. Eventually, her boyfriend let them back in, but he was mad at her for calling out for help. As far as I know, she and my nephew are still safe. I am trying to find out more information today, and to see if I need to go and pick them up. But she still plans to be in a relationship with him, to move in with him and to rely on him. This is not a safe situation for my nephew. I don't know what to do.

CeCe8579

I would ask your family to help you get DSS involved. I'm not sure if the same laws apply in Canada but in the US you can get a kinship foster placement for him. That would mean a family member would have him rather them someone else reporting her and taking the chance that DSS taking him and putting him in a stranger's home. That way maybe she could wake up a little and better her life. I'll be thinking of you and I hope everything goes well for everyone involved. Hugs!

AlbertaGrayGirl

We did have a long talk the first night that she got kicked out. But, the thing with my sister is that she is very good at giving all the right answers, if she knows it is what you want to hear. She can sit and lay out a perfect game plan to get herself out of the messes that she is in. But, she never acts on them.

My family is still refusing to get involved because they don't want to upset her. But I have put another call in to the CW, and she should hopefully be calling me back today. The best I can do is lay out the facts and let her determine what level of involvement they can take.

lorifromwi

That is a tough situation, but I agree with everyone saying you need to get help for your nephew.  Your sister may be upset in the near term, but hopefully she can see the greater good later on.  I think everyone would be more upset if she was kicked out in the cold and couldn't find safe shelter for her and her son.  Additionally, when does it go to the next level, these types of situations build and who knows what this guy is capable of doing?