Personal question?

bellelamb

So has your "love life" with dh gotten back to or close to normal??

We had two babies in two years and now it seems like sexy time is a chore for both of us. I enjoy it so much during but trying to make the effort to start things isn't easy. Plus dh has never been the one to initiate things. It doesn't help I've gained back the weight I lost this summer and feel ugly. Anyway I'm hoping you all are have a better sex life than me..

ELF4321

The only time I even remotely have any interest is for about 24 hours around when I'm ovulating. Add to that the fact that DD's giant (100%+) head size apparently caused permanent nerve damage to my insides and I pretty much don't feel anything happening in there anymore. My H is also like yours - he has never been the one to initiate things since my sex drive was always much higher than his, so basically we seem to average once a month. Last month was twice, which is practically a miracle.

littleredfish

Yeah 1-3 times a month. The times that it's like 3 are when we're like "ok, that was fun we're going to make a point of doing this more often!!!" then forget about that faster than a New Years Resolution, and go back to our very un-sexy ways. I also am not a huge fan of the way I'm currently carrying my weight (all in this weird front pouch that once was my preggo belly and refuses to go away). Also I'm just too tired and some nights just would rather browse Pinterest and watch Criminal Minds re-runs in my pajamas than even attempt being attractive. 

najzomax

Yup, maybe twice a month if we are lucky. By the end of the day I am all touched out and just want to curl up with my book! I don't necessarily feel bad about my weight but he brings it up a lot which doesn't encourage me to start anything.

Dwinalsinlove

I try for once a week. That doesn't always happen. It is just so hard for both of us to get in the mood at the end of the day. Once we are doing it I'm always wondering why we don't do it more often. 

EMOmamma

I'm kind of in the same boat as you bellelamb - w/ the 2u2 then recent weight regain. Blah.
But we both agreed that more alone time was one of our New Years resolutions this year.
It's going pretty good so far.

MrsH11710

Dwinalsinlove said:

I try for once a week. That doesn't always happen. It is just so hard for both of us to get in the mood at the end of the day. Once we are doing it I'm always wondering why we don't do it more often. 

This exactly!

mrsshawnavanb

najzomax said:

Yup, maybe twice a month if we are lucky. By the end of the day I am all touched out and just want to curl up with my book! I don't necessarily feel bad about my weight but he brings it up a lot which doesn't encourage me to start anything.

He brings up your weight? In what context? Oh, my DH would be injured if he even dared, but he knows I am super hard on myself about it so....

mrsshawnavanb

MrsH11710 said:

Dwinalsinlove said:

I try for once a week. That doesn't always happen. It is just so hard for both of us to get in the mood at the end of the day. Once we are doing it I'm always wondering why we don't do it more often. 

This exactly!

Yep, me too. 

najzomax

He brings it up in the context of trying out police what I eat. I am a snack before bed person and he gets on my case about it. I know eating before bed is back but I usually try to stick to toast and fruit. 

He hasn't done it in a couple weeks after I snapped on him... I figure if he is 20-30 lbs over weight and eating a big bag of chips then he shouldn't comment about me or my snacking. I try to eat healthy as much as I can but him eating a big bag of chips once a week isn't helping my self control. This is one of our biggest fights...

When we met I was a smoker and under 130lbs. Between quitting smoking, having DD, and not working I'm now 180 lbs. he wants me to lose the 50lbs but I keep telling him I'll worry more about my weight when I'm done breastfeeding. DD still nurses nearly every two hours and at least twice at night which means if I don't eat before bed then I am starving by 4am. I want to let her wean in her own time so that takes priority over my pants size. Given that I am only a size 12 I don't feel like it's a huge problem.

Do you guys think I am wrong? 

Dwinalsinlove

Hell no you are not wrong. Frankly I'm pissed for you at his attitude. When I was nursing I remember being ravenous. Especially if you are still nursing that much I can see why you are hungry. Maybe chips before bed are not the best choice but you still need the calories to keep up your supply.  

When you are ready take the approach of getting healthy and not just losing weight. Maybe tell him that you want to get healthy and you think it should be a family thing not just a you thing. There is no reason why he should hold your weight over your head. Even if he was the healthiest man alive there are ways to go about it and his way is not it.